Archive for the ‘Clothing’ Category

How Do They Taste?

Hobo: Can anyone spare some change? Please, I’m homeless and hungry.
British tourist #1: Is that the same bloke from the earlier train?
British tourist #2: No, I think it’s a woman.
British tourist #1: Oh! Poor thing. I wish we had a brassiere to give her.

–F train

Wednesday One-Liner Ink

Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Lyssa

Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.

–Prince & Lafayette

Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?

–D Train

Overheard by: 4-dumb

Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jas

Calista Flockhart Must Feel So Forgotten

Chick #1: Well, no, you look better now, but you were never that skinny, I mean, I never looked at you like “she needs a sandwich”, like…
Chick #2: No, but I haven’t gained any weight, really; my clothes still fit.
Chick #1: But you were never grotesque, like what’s her name.
Chick #2: Nicole Ritchie.
Chick #1: Yeah.

–55th & 8th

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

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