NYU girl #1: Drinking Starbucks does not make you skip your period.
NYU girl #2: It totally does!
–Starbucks
Archive for the ‘Coffee’ Category
Should Someone Call Animal Precinct?
Woman: One grande caramel frappuccino with extra whipped cream, please.
Man: You know there’s six or seven hundred calories in that, right?
Woman: It’s not for me, it’s for my hamster. I swear.
–Starbucks, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: fion
Maybe Wallpaper the Fortress Of Solitude
Security guard #1: Yes sir, yes sir, I am definitely gonna put my pimp foot forward, yes sir, and then I'm gonna go home and change into my Superman outfit…and drink some coffee. Yes sir!
Security guard #2: Mmhmm!
–116th & Amsterdam, Columbia
Overheard by: camillia*
We Don’t Serve That Here
Customer: A hot coffee, please.
Cashier: Huh?
–Starbucks, 28th & 3rd
“I Said Coffee!”
Cashier #1: I felt so bad. She was trying to be so nice to her, but this woman was just horrible.
Cashier #2: What happened?
Cashier #1: She asked her if she wanted a vente mocha frappacino–she was even smiling and stuff when she asked–and then the woman got all mad and said, “Look it, I don’t speak Italian.”
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Wednesday One-Liners Like Their Women Like They Like Their Coffee: Hot, and with a Spoon in Them.
Hipster on cell: Dude, yeah, coffee gives me the shits too; but I'd rather have the shits than no coffee.
–Dunkin' Donuts
Overheard by: Madalyn
Poet, selling self-published book on train: We're like Starbucks coffee and biscotti; you're tall and hot and I'm hard and nutty.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Marc
Little girl to mother: It's like every single person in the whole wide world came to Starbucks and we were the veeeerrrrryyy last ones.
–Starbucks
Colonel Sanders-looking man, in strong Southern accent: I want somethin cold… Whadya git?
–Starbucks
Like Everybody Who Works for a Living
Guy: You ever try Kopi Luwak?
Girl: No, who is he?
Guy: It’s not a he, it’s the world’s most expensive coffee.
Girl: That’s not the coffee that’s made from cat shit, is it?
Guy: It’s not made from cat shit.
Girl: They pick the beans out of the cat shit.
Guy: Sort of.
Girl: So that posers like you can drink it.
Guy: You don’t understand the concept of gourmet.
Girl: Maybe not, but I understand the concept of eating shit.
–Starbucks, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Got any Doritos?
Barista girl: Here’s your cappuccino.
Customer girl: I asked for a cafe au lait.
Barista girl: No, you said ‘cappuccino.’
Costumer girl: No, I said ‘cafe au lait’
Barista girl: Oh, You’re right. I’m probably just out of it.
Barista girl to coworker: I’m sorry, I’m high.
–Stanton & Ludlow
Overheard by: Aryn
Then I Wouldn't Have an Excuse to Come to Starbucks
Doctor: You know, people pay more for a Starbucks coffee than they do to visit me for a copay. That's what important in this world.
Colleague: Maybe you should put an espresso machine in your office.
–Starbucks, 96th St & Madison Ave
Not Too Hot, Though
Customer, impatiently: Give me an iced coffee. And make it with steamed milk.
Shop assistant: Iced coffee? With steamed milk?
Customer: What, you can’t do that? Okay, okay — make it a regular coffee with steamed milk, then.
–Coffee shop, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Nic Oatridge