Archive for the ‘Colors’ Category

What’s Eat­ing Wednes­day One-Lin­ers?

NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just want­ed you to know that I left my bur­ri­to in your fridge. Yeah, I’ll come around next Tues­day to pick it up.

–South Street Sea­port

Over­heard by: Juli­um

Ro­tund old woman at les­bian hip­ster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it’s flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coat­ing. And please, a cof­fee with cream. Make it a nice tan col­or.

–Par­adise Cafe, 8th & 17th

Over­heard by: Se­bas­t­ian White

Mid­dle aged dad, yelling while cross­ing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai!

–Union Square

Girl on phone: But se­ri­ous­ly, you give me good food, and there’s a pret­ty good chance I’ll have a thing for you.

–Union Square Park

Over­heard by: mol­ly

Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spend­ing the night at the Play­boy man­sion. And now I’m 35, and all I re­al­ly want to do is eat bar­be­cue.

–Hill Coun­try BBQ

Over­heard by: I’m just here for the ribs.

Wednes­di­verse Mul­ti-Lin­ers

Soul­ful black man: Well, think about this. A white man lived in Graceland, a black man lived in Nev­erland. (nods know­ing­ly)

–Down­town A Train

Over­heard by: Bear­sian

Gallery di­rec­tor to in­tern: So af­ter he was ar­rest­ed we sent a let­ter to Hen­ry Gates ask­ing him for mon­ey, you know, since we are a mul­ti­cul­tur­al or­ga­ni­za­tion.

–Low­er East Side Art Gallery

Lati­na to Lati­no: Lati­nos and black peo­ple can’t be racist. That’s, like, just white peo­ple.

–Red Hook, Brook­lyn

White hobo: When I see a black nig­ger to­geth­er with a white nig­ger, that just con­fus­es the hell out­ta me.

–Hous­ton & Clin­ton

Woman: She likes black dogs be­cause she’s black, and I like white dogs be­cause I’m white.

–Up­per West Side

Over­heard by: Yehu­da