5‑year-old wasp boy, watching black Ferrari: Wow! (points)
Wasp father: You will never have one of those. That’s a trashy car.
–Madison Ave & 70th
Overheard by: Alex and Allyson
Archive for the ‘Colors’ Category
Rap Duels Just Aren’t As Good As They Used to Be
Thug #1: I’m going to beat the shit out of you like the Incredible Hulk, except I’m going to turn purple instead of green.
Thug #2: No, you’re not. You’re going to turn pink because you’re a pussy!
–Bronx-bound D train
Overheard by: Maria Endrinal
Leave It to You to Put Things Into Perspective
Hobo #1: Man, god never did ’nuffin’ for me. Look at me.
Hobo #2: Captain Kirk fucks purple bitches!
–9th St b/w Ave B & C
Overheard by: RR Dr. GZA
She Needs a Change After All the Big Black Men
Girl #1: What’s with all the little white men?
Girl #2: The Navy guys?
Girl #1: White, Jesus.
Girl #2: What?
Pause
Girl #1: In those little costumes… don’t you just want to jump them?
–34th & Lexington
Overheard by: love them sailors
I Always Appreciate Good Classical Form
Girl #1: Did you see those two homeless men fighting by the subway?
Girl #2: I know! That was horrible!
Girl #1: Yeah. I was rooting for the guy in blue.
Girl #2: Really? I was going for the other one.
–Chelsea
Kinda Like Disneyland, But European
Asian teen #1: I know this kid whose skin is orange. It’s ’cause he grew up in Chernobyl.
Asian teen #2: What’s Chernobyl?
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: knows what Chernobyl is, at least
What’s Eating Wednesday One-Liners?
NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I’ll come around next Tuesday to pick it up.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Julium
Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it’s flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color.
–Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai!
–Union Square
Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll have a thing for you.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: molly
Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I’m 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue.
–Hill Country BBQ
Overheard by: I’m just here for the ribs.
I Smell a Project Runway “Reinvention” Challenge!
Girl: Do you think it’s inappropriate to wear black to a funeral?
Guy: Um, no. Why would it be?
Girl: Well, its just so… depressing. It’s so cliche!
–1 Train
Wednesdiverse Multi-Liners
Soulful black man: Well, think about this. A white man lived in Graceland, a black man lived in Neverland. (nods knowingly)
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Bearsian
Gallery director to intern: So after he was arrested we sent a letter to Henry Gates asking him for money, you know, since we are a multicultural organization.
–Lower East Side Art Gallery
Latina to Latino: Latinos and black people can’t be racist. That’s, like, just white people.
–Red Hook, Brooklyn
White hobo: When I see a black nigger together with a white nigger, that just confuses the hell outta me.
–Houston & Clinton
Woman: She likes black dogs because she’s black, and I like white dogs because I’m white.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Yehuda
Which Absorbs Heat, So It’s Hard to Stay Cool
Hipster #1: I still can’t tell the difference. What’s the difference between the cool kids and the black kids?
Hipster #2: Duh. Black kids are black.
–McCarren Pool Party, Brooklyn
Overheard by: bill
