Large man: Girl… You is white.
Pale girl: No, I’m not.
Large man: No. You is white. Like Shirley Temple or Betty Crocker, or somethin.
–D Train
Overheard by: Tiffany Schleigh
Archive for the ‘Colors’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead
Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey’s Anatomy! I mean, I’m DVRing it, but that’s so not the same.
–Wall St.
Overheard by: krazyhippie
Large 40-something woman: But I’m not gonna be on Maury sayin’, “I’m 100% sure!” Because I’m not!
–10th St & FDR
20-something woman on cell: It’s white, sleeveless…well, you don’t watch Gossip Girl but it’s totally Blair-worthy.
–W 19th & 5th Ave
Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn’t hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out “Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!”
–Mercer & W 3rd
Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.
–171st St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Low Hat
Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she’s high.
–PATH Station
Overheard by: smjcnj
30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: The Evil Triangle
“Creative” Is a Euphemism for “Ignorant”
Overly talkative man, after seeing “transparent monument” exhibit: I saw a white cloud and a gray cloud but I didn’t see no black cloud…If I was Native American I would see a red cloud!
Man’s Asian girlfriend: Or a purple one!
Overly talkative man: What?!
–Elevator, The Met
Overheard by: liselle boyette
Or, As I Like to Call It, a “Circle Of Joy”…Why Are You Laughing?
Student #1, commenting on hole in graph: Is it a black hole?
Student #2, sarcastically: No, a red hole.
Teacher, writing on brown blackboard: It’s a brown hole.
(class bursts into laughter)
–Math Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Perhaps These Breasts Will Answer Your Question
Guy to guy friend: Did you see the Giants game last night?
Girl, interrupting: I did! I am the biggest Giants fan ever! Like, seriously.
Guy: You’re wearing a Jets jersey.
Girl: Ohh, I thought it was Giants, you know, the colors sometimes get confusing.
Guy: How do you confuse red and blue with green and white?
Girl: Uhhh…
–F Train
Are You Discriminating Against It Based on Color?
5‑year-old wasp boy, watching black Ferrari: Wow! (points)
Wasp father: You will never have one of those. That’s a trashy car.
–Madison Ave & 70th
Overheard by: Alex and Allyson
Rap Duels Just Aren’t As Good As They Used to Be
Thug #1: I’m going to beat the shit out of you like the Incredible Hulk, except I’m going to turn purple instead of green.
Thug #2: No, you’re not. You’re going to turn pink because you’re a pussy!
–Bronx-bound D train
Overheard by: Maria Endrinal
Leave It to You to Put Things Into Perspective
Hobo #1: Man, god never did ’nuffin’ for me. Look at me.
Hobo #2: Captain Kirk fucks purple bitches!
–9th St b/w Ave B & C
Overheard by: RR Dr. GZA
She Needs a Change After All the Big Black Men
Girl #1: What’s with all the little white men?
Girl #2: The Navy guys?
Girl #1: White, Jesus.
Girl #2: What?
Pause
Girl #1: In those little costumes… don’t you just want to jump them?
–34th & Lexington
Overheard by: love them sailors
I Always Appreciate Good Classical Form
Girl #1: Did you see those two homeless men fighting by the subway?
Girl #2: I know! That was horrible!
Girl #1: Yeah. I was rooting for the guy in blue.
Girl #2: Really? I was going for the other one.
–Chelsea
