Archive for the ‘Comebacks’ Category

Sylvia Had­n’t Re­al­ized They Were off Stat­en Is­land.

Suit, tap­ping singing girl on the shoul­der: You sing won­der­ful­ly.
Girl: Thank you very much.
Suit: Yeah, by “won­der­ful­ly” I mean it sounds like a cat get­ting ass raped by a don­key. So I am sure that every­one else would ap­pre­ci­ate you not do­ing that any­more as it is on­ly 6 am.
(pas­sen­gers clap)

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry Ter­mi­nal

It De­pends on Whether She Swal­lows

Girl #1: Aw, he sent me a mes­sage that says “Sweet dreams, gor­geous.”
Girl #2: Hmm. Is­n’t that what they say to Mafioso girl­friends be­fore they slit their throats and throw them in the East Riv­er?

–Morn­ing­side Heights

Over­heard by: djlindee

Yup­pie #1: …and it’s not just be­cause she’s a chick.
Yup­pie #2: Yeah, it’d be the same if she were a dude.
Yup­pie #1: To­tal­ly! And it’s not be­cause I re­al­ly like to work, be­cause I don’t.
Yup­pie #2: To­tal­ly!

–Dock­’s Oys­ter Bar, 40th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Greg Rut­ter