Bike guy: The light’s red. Move out of the way.
Woman: Fuck you. I don’t care if the light’s purple, bitch. I cross when I want!
–20th & 8th
Archive for the ‘Comebacks’ Category
Are You Hitting on Me, Sir?
Loud woman: You'd better be opening up this back door.
Driver: Yeah, well, you'd best be pushing the tape.
–M15 Bus
I Know What You Did in College, Dad
Little girl: Daddy, are there people inside the big balloons?
Father: Only in Scooby-Doo. He’s a carnivore.
–77th & Columbus
Why Topless Tutoring Exists
Eight-year-old ghetto kid: Mama, give me your cell phone! I gotta call my girlfriend.
Mother: What you gonna talk to her about? How you can't read and write? Tell her to help you with that!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Joe
How Good Could Its Best Be?
Comedy flyer guy: Come see a comedy show, best in the city!
Thug, passing by quickly: I hate this fuckin city.
–Times Square
Overheard by: CF
Jessica Simpson: I Am So With You
Younger man: Maybe I’ll marry your sister. Then I’ll kill myself.
Older man: I’m waiting to give my sister to an enemy.
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Christine
Core…Body Temperature…Dropping…Need…Hugs
Drunk 20-something man: Ow! It's cold out, ladies!
Teenage girl: You're drunk, mister!
–4th St & 1st Ave
The Filming of Back to School II
Eddie Izzard: We’ve explored space, but we haven’t drilled down. You all remember Journey to the Center of the Earth. Why don’t we just drill down to the center and see the…what’s it called?
Guy: Magma.
Eddie Izzard: Yeah, we’ll get a heat resistant camera and we’ll see the magma. And they’ll make a documentary–
Guy: It wouldn’t work.
Eddie Izzard: Eh?
Guy: The density would be too intense.
Eddie Izzard: No, we would take the rocks out behind us–
Guy: No, the air would be too dense. As you approach the center of
the earth, the density of the air increases.
Eddie Izzard: But what if you took the rocks out?
Guy: No, the air would still be too dense.
Eddie Izzard: Oh, well I guess you would know better than I. You must be some sort of scientist?
Guy: Actually, I’m an actor…but I took science class.
–The Village Theatre, Bleecker Street
Okay, but a Burlap Sack and Shower Cap?
Chick: Does she think that looks hot?
Friend: She’s ten.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jax
That's the Nicest Thing Anyone's Ever Said to Me!
Thin preppy girl to heavier stranger: Oh my god! I love your shoes.
Heavier stranger, looking her over: Girl, I wish I could give you a compliment, but you just look hungry.
–95th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Adriana