Hobo: What are you doing?
Pretty girl: Just thinking.
Hobo: You are way too pretty to think.
–42nd St
Overheard by: Meredith
Archive for the ‘Comebacks’ Category
How Vanilla Ice Cream Becomes a Chocolate Milkshake
Man: This is no good. It’s sour. I want one that’s fresh.
Employee: I put ice cream and milk.
Man: I don’t care what you put in it. Maybe it’s the milk, maybe it’s the ice cream. You taste it, or bring out a manager to taste it, either way I want one that’s fresh.
Employee: You come tomorrow. Speak with manager. Change with him.
Man: So what am I supposed to do? Stick this in my ass until tomorrow?
–Baskin-Robbins, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Jenn Milazzo
Executing Poop Joke in Three… Two… One…
Man #1: Isn’t your cousin a big producer or something?
Man #2: No, he’s a dog walker.
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jon
C’mon, That Shit Was Weaker Than What We Snorted at Frank’s Funeral
Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!
–Rumsey Field, Central Park
Overheard by: Jet Black
What Passes for Exceptional Customer Service in This Town
Customer at deli called “Bagel”: So, do you serve bagels here?
Waitress: No, we actually serve sports gear, but the models next door sells bagels.
–Bagel Deli
Overheard by: Amanda
What Matters is a Happy Ending
Girl: God, it’s getting so cold! I should’ve brought my winter coat!
Guy: You don’t need a coat, you need a hot man to warm you up.
Girl: I need that, too…but I’d start with a coat.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Mallory McMahon
But Not The Tongue Baths
Tall girl: I think I'm part dog.
Short girl: That explains a lot.
–Kings Highway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Margot
…Mr. “I Wear Crocs”
Guy #1: Are people getting dumber or is it just me?
Guy #2: Both.
–6 Train
Actually They’re Named For the 80’s Girl Group
New York girl: Wait, who are the Bengals?
Cincinnati girl: Our football team
New York girl: Wow, that sucks, to be named after a kind of bracelet.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: leilah
With More Sodomy, or Less?
Student #1: It’s crazy to think the pope was part of the Hitler youth.
Student #2: Not really — the Hitler youth was like the YMCA of Germany.
–Van crossing GW Bridge