Passenger #1: What's that movie with Julia Roberts where she plays the runaway bride?
Passenger #2: My Best Friend's Wedding?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: EmLo
Archive for the ‘Comebacks’ Category
Less Pussy, More Bitchy
Dude: Is this a petting zoo sort of thing?
Chick: No. It’s a dog park sort of thing.
–Union Square dog park
Overheard by: tanechka
It Depends on Whether She Swallows
Girl #1: Aw, he sent me a message that says “Sweet dreams, gorgeous.”
Girl #2: Hmm. Isn’t that what they say to Mafioso girlfriends before they slit their throats and throw them in the East River?
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: djlindee
Yuppie #1: …and it’s not just because she’s a chick.
Yuppie #2: Yeah, it’d be the same if she were a dude.
Yuppie #1: Totally! And it’s not because I really like to work, because I don’t.
Yuppie #2: Totally!
–Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
If the Light’s Purple, You’re Crossing Over
Bike guy: The light’s red. Move out of the way.
Woman: Fuck you. I don’t care if the light’s purple, bitch. I cross when I want!
–20th & 8th
Are You Hitting on Me, Sir?
Loud woman: You'd better be opening up this back door.
Driver: Yeah, well, you'd best be pushing the tape.
–M15 Bus
I Know What You Did in College, Dad
Little girl: Daddy, are there people inside the big balloons?
Father: Only in Scooby-Doo. He’s a carnivore.
–77th & Columbus
Why Topless Tutoring Exists
Eight-year-old ghetto kid: Mama, give me your cell phone! I gotta call my girlfriend.
Mother: What you gonna talk to her about? How you can't read and write? Tell her to help you with that!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Joe
How Good Could Its Best Be?
Comedy flyer guy: Come see a comedy show, best in the city!
Thug, passing by quickly: I hate this fuckin city.
–Times Square
Overheard by: CF
Jessica Simpson: I Am So With You
Younger man: Maybe I’ll marry your sister. Then I’ll kill myself.
Older man: I’m waiting to give my sister to an enemy.
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Christine
Core…Body Temperature…Dropping…Need…Hugs
Drunk 20-something man: Ow! It's cold out, ladies!
Teenage girl: You're drunk, mister!
–4th St & 1st Ave