Obese 40-something Puerto Rican hoochie in black tube top: Hey, watch where you’re going.
Little blonde teen: Sorry. Didn’t realize you were late for your episode of “what not to wear.”
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: Jekke
Archive for the ‘Comebacks’ Category
…Says the Kid Who Ordered the “Banana Volcano Explosion”?
Kid #1: You don’t wanna get a sample of ice cream? Well, that’s cause you’re gay!
Kid #2: Are you sure I’m gay?
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: TW
Only Because They’re Cutting Off My Vocal Cords
Young guy: Oh, whatever, we all know you have short, stubby legs.
Young woman: That’s not what you say when they’re around your neck.
–Citrus Bar & Grill
What Matters is a Happy Ending
Girl: God, it’s getting so cold! I should’ve brought my winter coat!
Guy: You don’t need a coat, you need a hot man to warm you up.
Girl: I need that, too…but I’d start with a coat.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Mallory McMahon
That’s the Sweetest Thing You’ve Ever Said to Me
Guy #1: Your jeans are ripped.
Guy #2: Your ass is ripped.
–West Village
Overheard by: Mike
His Morning Wood Is a Bonsai
Big Guido, yelling at female bystanders after minor traffic accident: Why don’t you shut the fuck up and get something to do… go suck a dick somewhere!
Woman bystander: Well, I’d suck you if you weren’t so small…
–55th & Madison
Overheard by: kerstin
Maybe You Can Do Him With Your Billfold
Queer #1: Oh my god, you work at a hedge fund? How much money do you make and how big is your cock?
Queer #2: Uhh… Eight and two. But I’m not telling you which is which.
–Phoenix, 13th & A
Overheard by: Queer #3
… So Could You Please Go Buy a Tourniquet?
Dad: It just seems silly. Why risk a lot for a little?
Teen son: It’s not a little, it’s my life!
–14th & 6th
To Increase the Value of Their Work
Artist: Painting is wearing me out. I think I’m ready to retire.
Sales associate: Artists do not retire. As a matter of fact, they are the only ones that do not retire.
Artist: Yeah, they just jump off a bridge or out of a window.
–New York Central Art Supply Store, 3rd Ave, between 10th & 11th St
And You Better Be Wearing Plastic Shoes, Bitch
Guy in fur coat handing out fur sale brochures: Sale! Sale!
Tourist girl with lollipop: Animal killer!
Guy in fur coat: You’re killing that lollipop!
–7th Ave & 25th St
Overheard by: furry
