Young English teacher, showing class movie of Greek tragedy Agamemnon: Does anyone else think that Agamemnon kinda looks like the Burger King King?
Student: Well, there goes my grade.
–Stuyvesant High
Archive for the ‘Compare/Contrast’ Category
The Difference Between a Kirstie and a Kardashian
Guy, trying to sneak past chubby girl behind counter: You gettin' fat?
Chubby girl: I ain't fat, I'm a fat-ass. There's a big difference.
–W 103rd St & Broadway
One More Reason Girls Go to the Bathroom in Groups
Girl #1: (about friend in restroom) Oh my god! She is being such a bitch!
Girl #2: I know! I can't believe she said we were just as bad!
Girl #1: Yeah, I mean, at least we tell people to their faces!
Girl #2: Yeah. Oh, quiet! She's coming back.
–Beans Cafe, 57th St
Overheard by: Kiara
Yeah, See If He'll Sign the Extended-Service Contract
Student #1: Go through a 30-day trial, like on the commercials! Then if you don't like him, then you can return him.
Student #2: Wow, that's a bitchy move. Maybe I could see him on Monday?
–Hunter Collge
Ronald McDonald: I Am the Way and the Truth and the Sauce
Customer: Can I have five barbecue sauces?
Cashier: No. This is not Burger King. You cannot have it your way.
–McDonald's
Overheard by: megan loves ian
Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead
Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.
–Wall St.
Overheard by: krazyhippie
Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!
–10th St & FDR
20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.
–W 19th & 5th Ave
Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"
–Mercer & W 3rd
Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.
–171st St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Low Hat
Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.
–PATH Station
Overheard by: smjcnj
30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: The Evil Triangle
Earlier, It Asked Me What the Meaning Of Life Is
40-something male watching 20-something female bending over: Holy shit! That girl's got no panties on!
30-something male: Yes she is, it's a thong.
40-something male: If she is wearing panties, that's the deepest thong I've even seen.
–Dewey's Flatiron
Overheard by: Gmoney
Wednesday One-Liners Looked Better in the Previews
Husky unshaved guy to younger girlfriend: You mean you never saw Animal House? You're not human!
–Lower West Side
Thug to another: Jabba the Hutt? That's like some Tony Soprano shit, nigga. And the spices? That's drugs. Star Wars drugs!
–13th St & University
Overheard by: Jaimie
Girl to friends: My English teacher said Precious is "whack."
–City Cinemas, E 86th St
Stuffy Bulgarian professor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It's very funny, right?
–NYU
Overheard by: really glad I got up before 9:30 for this
Girl on cell: Yeah, after that movie, I'm gonna think all adopted kids are evil dwarfs with a hormone imbalance.
–Columbus Circle
I Take Drugs to Forget
Columbia student #1: It’s funny how many kids do coke at this school… Actually, it’s disgusting.
Columbia student #2: Wait, but you just bought an eightball a few hours ago.
Columbia student #1: Oh, yeah.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: keith smith
With More Sodomy, or Less?
Student #1: It’s crazy to think the pope was part of the Hitler youth.
Student #2: Not really — the Hitler youth was like the YMCA of Germany.
–Van crossing GW Bridge