Archive for the ‘Compliments’ Category

Sure, Lisa, Some Magical Wednesday One-Liner….

Dude with chick to group of smokers outside bar: We are going to eat pork chops and fuck.

–Bleecker and Crosby

Gay male on cell: …Do you really think I would try his sausage balls?

–53rd St & 8th Ave

Budget Vin Diesel: I love bacon. If I could, I would put bacon in my cereal.

–Sunburnt Cow, Avenue C

Overheard by: LeahPia77

Hispanic deli worker: Es muy barato, como la carne de gato.

–10th & Broadway

Overheard by: Anna Pilar

Black man, to Jewish friend: You’re not Jewish. You had bacon at your baby’s naming ceremony. Thickest, juiciest most delicious bacon I ever ate in my life. You named your kid Samuel and you had bacon. Delicious, delicious bacon.

–A Train

Man on cell phone: The sausages! I mean, I don’t feel bad for the hot dogs. But, the sausages?!

–41st and 7th

Overheard by: Justin

Jason Was a Final-Round Draft Pick for the Other Team

Dude: So I finally saw Lisa's* tits. Good stuff, man.
Friend: Yeah? Are they big?
Dude: Not at all. But it's better that way. A handful is enough.
Friend: So it's like nuts?
Dude: What the fuck?
Friend: No! I mean they say a handful of nuts is enough protein for the day! That came out totally wrong!
Dude: Whatever you say…Tinkerbell.

–67th & Columbus