Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Compliments’ Category

Thank God the Wednes­day One-Lin­ers’ Strike Is Over

Chick on cell: We can’t let Blair and Tootie con­trol our lives!

–LIRR

Over­heard by: Poo­gins

Home­less crazy black guy to three scared white girls in their twen­ties: Time is crazy. Oh man, what time is “Des­per­ate House­wives” on?!

–10th Street & 3rd Ave

Large lati­no: Yo, it was so good last night, I mean I can’t be­lieve you missed it. It was the best episode I’ve seen yet, se­ri­ous­ly bro… Well the main thing that hap­pened was Hei­di tried to apol­o­gize to LC and she was all like: “I wan­na for­get you!” I was like: “Whaaaaaat? For re­al?” It was crazy, you got­ta catch it!

–Times Square Of­fice Build­ing

Over­heard by: SU­SAN

Red­head: The “Brady Bunch” world is a world with­out urges.

–Ve­niero’s, 11th St be­tween 1st & 2nd

Over­heard by: Ur­su­la & Winifred

Mus­cu­lar guy: He comes up to me talk­ing all this shit, say­ing that he’ll bring it. Bring what? He’s not gangs­ta like I am, he ain’t thug like me. Skin­ny moth­er­fuc­ka looks like a damn burnt-out Screech.

–On the Bus

Ful­some girl with bad dye job: I’m like: “I watch ‘Law and Or­der: SVU’, I’m not get­ting in your van.”

–15th be­tween 6th and 7th

Over­heard by: Dis­union­square

Aries Spears, in line for an Ash­lee Simp­son au­to­graph: I’m the black guy from MADtv! [Grabs a ran­dom girl’s cam­era and snaps a pic­ture of them to­geth­er and walks away.]

–Vir­gin Mo­bile Mega Store, Times Square

…Douchebag.

Judge, at con­clu­sion of tri­al: Well, I must say I was very im­pressed with the qual­i­ty of the at­tor­neys for both sides. It’s ex­treme­ly un­usu­al and re­fresh­ing to see at­tor­neys act­ing like lawyers.
At­tor­ney: I would sug­gest, your hon­or, that it would be more ac­cu­rate to say that it is un­usu­al and re­fresh­ing to see at­tor­neys not act­ing like lawyers.
Judge: Point well tak­en.

–Civ­il Court, Sut­phin Boule­vard, Ja­maica

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry

When We Took Your Wal­let and Di­vid­ed It Up Amongst Us, for In­stance.

Drunk guy in full New Year re­galia: Well, I’m from fuckin’ Penn­syl­va­nia and I nev­er seen any­thing like this! This shit is fan­tas­tic! Woo!
Ir­ri­tat­ed sober woman: Re­al­ly? No one on this train had any idea you weren’t from New York!

–Up­town 1 Train

Over­heard by: Rose Fox

And I’m Still Smarter Than You. That’s Got­ta Burn

Hip 18-year-old daugh­ter: Mom, stop laugh­ing! I’m like the least fun­ny per­son I’ve ever met.
Mom, laugh­ing: No, you’re so fun­ny! You al­ways have been! It’s like you have an ex­tra chro­mo­some or some­thing. (walks in­to an apart­ment and clos­es door be­hind her be­fore her daugh­ter and her friend can fol­low).
Girl’s friend: So, you’re re­tard­ed. You have an ex­tra chro­mo­some. You’re fuck­ing re­tard­ed.

–87th & East End

Over­heard by: So­phie

But I’m a Suck­er for Any­thing In­volv­ing Kit­tens

Large black guy #1: Yo, check out that chick­’s ear­rings.
Large black guy #2: Damn, they even match her out­fit.
Large black guy #1: That’s, like, a whole new lev­el of match­ing.
Large black guy #2, to girl: Yo, did you make those?
Girl: No, my sis­ter did.
Large black guy #2: I reeeal­ly like those.

–1 train

Over­heard by: i like them too