Archive for the ‘Coney Island’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have a Freak Flag, and They’re Gonna Fly It

Carnie: Come play Shoot the Freak! What d’ya come to Coney Is­land for, to swim in dirty wa­ter?

–Board­walk, Coney Is­land

Over­heard by: Je­na

Guy: Shut up and nev­er call me again, you freak.

–56th & 13th, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: bob­by

Ped­dler: Coney Is­land Freak Show t‑shirts! It’s the new Guc­ci!

–Siren Mu­sic Fest, Coney Is­land

Over­heard by: Sine­stro

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Keep Their Eyes Peeled for Movie Stars

Tourist back­pack­er with hands on sub­way doors: Do these open on their own?

–1 Train

Tourist mom to un­cool son: Well, that’s what you get for try­ing to be a hip­ster!

–Union Square Park

Over­heard by: j

Tourist: Holy moly, look at that Olive Gar­den! It’s huge! I wish I lived here!
(takes a pic­ture of the restau­rant)

–Times Square

Obese Mid­west­ern woman to obese Mid­west­ern man: Oooh, Ap­ple­bee’s… Now I feel at home here!

–Times Square

South­ern tourist guy: I thought peo­ple in Green­wich Vil­lage would look stranger.

–Bleeck­er Street

Tourist from west coast, af­ter ob­serv­ing the lo­cals for a few in­nings: You know, Se­in­feld makes so much more sense to me now.

–Cheap Seats, Coney Is­land Cy­clones

Over­heard by: Kevin Eliasen

We May Have Found the Cause

Lit­tle girl to mom: I don’t feel good.
Mom: Are you ir­reg­u­lar? Con­sti­pat­ed? Do you have di­ar­rhea? Snot? Boogers? Fun­gus? Menopause? Post-par­tum de­pres­sion? Pre-par­tum de­pres­sion?…

Lit­tle girl wan­ders away while mom keeps list­ing ail­ments.

–Nathan’s, Coney Is­land