Archive for the ‘Construction Guys’ Category

What’s More Amer­i­can Than Wednes­day One-Lin­ers?

Guy on cell: Come on, one third of Amer­i­cans don’t pay their tax­es. I want to be one of them.

–7th Ave & Garfield, Brook­lyn

Guy on cell: Does he know where he is? This is America–this is Amer­i­ca. They makin’ ice cream every sec­ond! I don’t know what he’s com­plain­in’ about, they got chains makin’ food 24 hours a day…they even makin’ milk on Christ­mas!

–NJ Tran­sit

Over­heard by: Tess

Ob­nox­ious black guy to an­oth­er: I was watchin’ a spe­cial on tv last night talkin’ about how gays can’t be in the war! When they find out the whole Amer­i­ca is gay, we’re screwed!

–45th & 9th

Con­struc­tion work­er to an­oth­er: Hell, I could break down George Bush in a de­bate. And I’m a fuckin’ plumber! (pause) I hate my damn na­tion…

–Dunkin’ Donuts, As­to­ria, Queens

Con­duc­tor: This is the r lo­cal to Con­ti­nen­tal… For­est Hills… Queens… USA!

–R Train

Over­heard by: Mugsy’s Moll

Wednes­day Pick-Up-Lin­ers

Guy, bump­ing in­to girl­friend as bus lurch­es: Sor­ry ba­by, that’s grav­i­ty. I can’t help it, I’m phys­i­cal­ly at­tract­ed to you.

–M116 Bus

Over­heard by: I hate the bus

Con­struc­tion work­er hit­ting on young girl: Hey ba­by, you are too cute to be so pret­ty!

–Allen & East Hous­ton

Black bag sell­er to passer­by: Hey sweet­heart, you wan­na buy a bag to­day? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my num­ber for free.

–33rd & Broad­way

Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wres­tle? I swear to god I could take you all.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: year­book­ie

Homie to friends: They say in the old days you could­n’t even holler at a woman cause she would­n’t an­swer you.

–South Williams­burg

Over­heard by: DanielXY

Home­less man to cute passer­by: Nice knees.

–Cen­tral Park

Cau­tion: Wednes­day One-Lin­ers at Work

Hard­hat: Walk in the walk­way, peo­ple! It’s much safer! Watch out for the cabs! They hurt!

–Broad­way & Ful­ton

Over­heard by: Adam Nathan

Chunky Mex­i­can hard­hat: I might not have a mil­lion dol­lars, but I got a big fat dick to put in her ass.

–St. Patrick­’s Cathe­dral

Hard­hat: Awright, look — af­ter lunch, I’ll get you a grinder, and then we’re hav­ing a three-way, okay?

–Barnard Col­lege

Over­heard by: Vicks­burg

Hard­hat on cell: So, when you say you want to cheat, do you mean a one-time thing, or is this some­thing you plan on do­ing again and again?

–14th St, be­tween 6th & 7th Ave

Hard­hat to an­oth­er: Bitch, please! I asked for a pink so­da! I’m not go­ing to drink this shit!

–10th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Veroni­ka LaRocque