Man, to old woman pouring paint thinner into the sewer: You know, you’ll kill the alligators like that.

–39th & Lex

Methodone lover: I told him, “If you do that again, I’m gonna sic the alligators on you!”

–Whitehall Ferry Terminal

Overheard by: Steven Lowell

Tourist, kneeling in front of a giant stone head: Help me, Olmec! Where is the shrine of the silver monkey?

–Museum of Natural History

Chelsea boy: Yeah…My God, the boys there were so hot! Their asses were all tight and round…Mmm…like a Chihuahua’s.

–19th & 6th

Overheard by: CocteauBoy

5‑Year-Old boy, passing the smelly horse carriages on Central Park South: Eww, are there camels around here?

–59th between Broadway & 7th

Overheard by: Carmiya Weinraub

Old man, passing bear sculpture: Bears eat too much.

–American Wing Cafe, the Met

Overheard by: guingel

MTA hardhat: Yeah, for lunch I’ll have either the rat on a stick or the pigeon on a stick.

–Bleecker & Lafayette

Overheard by: Brewster

Guy on cell: I just saw a pigeon, and it reminded me of you.

–Houston & Bowery

Overheard by: Jon A.

Commuter: Oh, I’ve always been into manatees.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jon

Woman, to child: That’s why imagination is really nice. You can imagine that cat you have always wanted, and it’s almost like having him for real…even though you never will.

–53rd & Broadway

Animal lover: I never used to like cats. But then I had this dream where this cat, like, told me, “I love you,” so I got a cat.

–10th St & 1st Ave

Bus rider: My son’s frog jumped up there, and now I can’t take a poop.

–Q101 bus

Overheard by: Kaleena

Suit: No, no, it’s a woman with a donkey, not two donkeys! Jesus.

–14th St 1 station

Non-Ghetto woman on cell: That’s nigga’s crazier than a road lizard!

–59th & 7th

Picky girl: You won’t believe the pick up line he used. He actually said, “I want to be your beast.”

–The Strand, Broadway

Overheard by: Miss Parker