Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category

I’d Rather Date Her

Boyfriend hold­ing up slut­ty top: What about this one?
Girl­friend: If you were a girl you’d be the biggest skank in New York.

–Char­lotte Russe, Man­hat­tan Mall, 33rd & 6th

Head­line by: Scott

Run­ners-Up:

· “And knock the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty right off that pedestal.” — LORI

· “But at least it flat­ters my man-boobs” — An­drew

· “I learned from the best” — Bre­anne S.

· “Putting the “Ho” back in “Home­boy”” — cinekat

· “What She Does­n’t Know Won’t Hurt Her” — Al­i­son R.


Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Wheres­day One-Lin­ers

NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here’s Grand Cen­tral!

–Broad­way & Wa­ver­ly

Guy on Side­kick to an­oth­er: I was­n’t sure if he was talk­ing about Buf­fa­lo or Bal­ti­more! I mean, I don’t even know where Buf­fa­lo is! Is it a state?

–1 Train

Over­heard by: amalthya

Ditzy girl sob­bing on cell: You don’t un­der­stand! They told me I was sup­posed to go to Penn Sta­tion but I just don’t know where that is!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: queenof­s­cots

Guy on cell: I don’t get it–why go all the way to Ire­land if you’re not go­ing to go see Stone­henge?

–Cost­co, Brook­lyn

Girl­friend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?

–85th & 1st

Over­heard by: Spe­cial K

It Makes It Look Big­ger

Girl­friend: So, my Christo­pher is a lit­tle fem­i­nine some­times…
Boyfriend: I spent two hours shav­ing this morn­ing!
Dude: Yeah, but shav­ing what, is the ques­tion.
Girl­friend: Not that.
Boyfriend: No, that was yes­ter­day.
Dude, dis­gust­ed: I was talk­ing about your legs, but thanks…

–Her­shey’s store, Times Square

Over­heard by: equal­ly dis­gust­ed

Shows What You Know– My Girl­friend’s a Les­bian.

Street ven­dor: T‑shirts, get your “I love New York” t‑shirts! On­ly three dol­lars. Much bet­ter than you’d nor­mal­ly get at a store. T‑shirts, get your t‑shirts!
20-some­thing guy to girl­friend: Too ex­pen­sive, babe. Sor­ry.
Ven­dor to guy: Yeah, well your girl­friend can have one for free be­cause of how amaz­ing she was last night.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: i LOVE new york

I Am So Telling Her about the Lip­stick

Man: I love your mom.
Woman: What?! No you don’t!
Man: I al­ways speak well of her.
Woman: No, you don’t.
Man: I don’t say, ‘I gave your mom 20 bucks for a cab home last night.’ I don’t say, ‘Tell your mom to stop chang­ing her lip­stick — my dick looks like a rain­bow.’ I don’t say, ‘Af­ter meet­ing your mom, all my friends have her­pes.’ In fact, I don’t say any­thing rude at all.
Woman, cell ring­ing: It’s mom call­ing.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Dave