Archive for the ‘Coworkers’ Category

Why Beau­ty Bar Ex­ists.

Nail sa­lon em­ploy­ee #1, walk­ing up to closed nail sa­lon: What? No one opened this morn­ing?
Nail sa­lon em­ploy­ee #2, stand­ing out­side nail sa­lon: No. No one here.
Nail sa­lon em­ploy­ee #1, dis­ap­point­ed: They’re such al­co­holics.

–Bleeck­er St

Over­heard by: dev

The Se­cret is Out!

A Wendy’s em­ploy­ee, fresh off his break, pre­tends to be a cus­tomer.

Wendy’s Guy #1: Hel­lo, sir. Wel­come to Wendy’s. Can I take your or­der?
Wendy’s Guy #2: I want a Big Mac.
Wendy’s Guy #1: A Big Mac?
Wendy’s Girl: I don’t want a Big Mac but I want that sauce.
Wendy’s Guy #2: Yeah, it’s pret­ty good.
Wendy’s Girl: Is­n’t it just 1000 is­land dress­ing?

–Wendy’s, Ben­son­hurst

Which Is My De­fault An­swer for All Is­sues In­volv­ing Men

50-some­thing woman to cowork­er at Burg­er King: And he said, “Why you al­ways com­ing in here, dressed up like you’re at the beach? What is that?” And I was like, “Yeah, please, put me on a re­al beach, in like Do­mini­can Re­pub­lic or some­thing.“
Cowork­er: He prob­a­bly just want­ed to see you in your biki­ni.

–La­Guardia Air­port

Over­heard by: … But I know I would­n’t

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Hang Weird Shit on Their Mir­rors

Cab dri­ver, get­ting cut off: Yeah, dri­ve like you want that cheese­burg­er!

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Cab­bie: I got in some trou­ble and my wife threw all my clothes out of the house. I nev­er re­al­ized how many clothes I have! I know New York streets bet­ter than my own clos­et! (laughs)

–Cab, Broad­way & Hous­ton

Cab dri­ver to col­league who just honked af­ter he stopped for a pedes­tri­an: What, you want me to kill him?

–Bat­tery Park

Mid­dle East­ern cab dri­ver: I used to have a video store in Wash­ing­ton Heights. But the black bas­tard put me out of busi­ness! Can you be­lieve it? Af­ter ten years the black bas­tard put me out of busi­ness! Do you now the black bas­tard on Dy­ck­man? C’­mon! Every­body knows the back bas­tard! Black bas­tard! Black bas­tard video!

–Cab, Wash­ing­ton Heights

Over­heard by: Gene Gray

Cab dri­ver: When you dri­ve for ten hours a day, you learn that over 50% of dri­vers are, how do you say it…stupid.

–Queens

Over­heard by: Fi­as­co