Archive for the ‘Creepsters’ Category

Un­less I Could In­ter­est You in Some Re­bound Sex?

20-some­thing girl (fol­low­ing old­er man and sniff­ing him): Mm­m­m­m­mm.
Old­er man (let­ting her pass): Ex­cuse me?
Girl: Sor­ry about that. You smell like my boyfriend. And he dumped me two days ago. (eyes well up)
Old­er man: Well, you’re mak­ing me ner­vous. Keep on walk­ing, hon­ey.

–4 Train

Over­heard by: alex

What’s a Nice Wednes­day Like You Do­ing in a One-Lin­er Like This?

Creep­ster to woman with child en­ter­ing train: You can sit here. There’s no rea­son to be stand­ing when you have a child with you. (woman sits) Not to sound creepy, but the view was much bet­ter when you were stand­ing.

–6 Train

Over­heard by: Creeped out.

Black hobo to young white girl: If you and I got to­geth­er, we could make the next Oba­ma.

–4 Train

Over­heard by: Katie

Greasy white suit to hot black chick: My name is Mark, but you can call me “The Vagi­na Whis­per­er.”

–Moe’s Bar. Brook­lyn

Guy hit­ting on four younger girls: I’ll take you home and we can do some­thing weird… I’ll pour hon­ey all over you. Then I’ll put you in the clos­et and let loose 200 bees in there with you! Or, we could do sexy-weird! I’ll pour but­ter all over you, and I’ll make toast, and I’ll wipe the but­ter off your back with it!

–1 Train

Old­er fat man yelling at at­trac­tive young woman: Hey bay! You’re beau­ti­ful! Look at me! You don’t want to say hi? (spreads his arms) Hey, come on, look at me. I’m Tony Baloney.

–Broad­way & Hewes, Brook­lyn

I’m Too Sexy for My Wednes­day One-Lin­ers.

Co­me­di­an guy with fly­er: Girl, you have some sexy nos­trils!

–Broad­way

Gay man to an­oth­er: Next Hal­loween I am go­ing to be a sexy tub of lard.

–Broad­way & Spring

20-some­thing hot girl on cell: So, like, Kristin was sup­posed to go as a wa­ter-board­ing tor­ture vic­tim, which is hi­lar­i­ous, but then, she like, um, shows up as a *sexy* wa­ter-board­ing tor­ture vic­tim, which is bet­ter than be­ing, like, all gross and frumpy. But come on… that’s not fun­ny.

–Q Train

Creepy old man: When I was was a kid… Coney Is­land was hot! I mean “sexy.” I mean it was… Bam!

–Nep­tune Ave

Over­heard by: tay­lor

Girl on cell: It’s re­al­ly not like a sexy stab­bing.

–Cen­tre St