Archive for the ‘Cruise Ship’ Category

And on Your Left— Wednes­day One-Lin­ers!

Kid to an­oth­er: And then, when you’re 45, we can be tour guides.

–West Vil­lage

Over­heard by: of bu­gle be un­couth

Tour guide: This tour will be in Eng­lish, we have tour pam­phlets in sev­er­al oth­er lan­guages. If you are a non Eng­lish speak­ing pas­sen­ger, this an­nounce­ment is of no use to you.

–Cir­cle Line Har­bor Lights Cruise

Over­heard by: Trix­ie

Overex­cit­ed be­spec­ta­cled tour guide leader to group of un­in­ter­est­ed par­ents: So! That’s the great thing, you know, about this school, is that it’s not just you. It’s the city, and the stu­dents, and the peo­ple, and the tourists, and… (starts to run out of things to say) the home­less peo­ple, and the squir­rels… and pi­geons! So, you see, it’s not ever just you!

–Bob­st Li­brary, NYU

Tour guide on bus: Now over here we have Trump Tow­ers. Don­ald is not in the build­ing to­day, as he is out of coun­try await­ing the birth of his next wife.

–Trump Tow­ers

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Thought Fe­lic­i­ty Huff­man De­served that Os­car

Skater kid: What’s the point of be­ing gay if you like girls who dress like boys?

–42nd St, be­tween 7th & 8th Ave

La­dy on phone: Yeah, she was work­ing at a fac­to­ry, but she was pass­ing as a man… Well, she did­n’t last a week at the fac­to­ry.

–Bus in Lin­coln Tun­nel

TA: We live in a two-gen­der sys­tem of so­ci­ety. There’s no green ‘It’s a her­maph­ro­dite!’ bal­loon to put out on your front lawn.

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Limey

Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For re­al. I’m sick of be­ing like, ‘That guy is skin­nier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has bet­ter make­up.’

–26th St

Over­heard by: agrees with that girl

Col­lege stu­dent on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?

–114th & Broad­way

Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were lit­tle, but now it’s time to dif­fer­en­ti­ate.

–Tar­get, At­lantic Ave, Brook­lyn