Archive for the ‘Crying’ Category

Wheres­day One-Lin­ers

NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here’s Grand Cen­tral!

–Broad­way & Wa­ver­ly

Guy on Side­kick to an­oth­er: I was­n’t sure if he was talk­ing about Buf­fa­lo or Bal­ti­more! I mean, I don’t even know where Buf­fa­lo is! Is it a state?

–1 Train

Over­heard by: amalthya

Ditzy girl sob­bing on cell: You don’t un­der­stand! They told me I was sup­posed to go to Penn Sta­tion but I just don’t know where that is!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: queenof­s­cots

Guy on cell: I don’t get it–why go all the way to Ire­land if you’re not go­ing to go see Stone­henge?

–Cost­co, Brook­lyn

Girl­friend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?

–85th & 1st

Over­heard by: Spe­cial K

What Hap­pens When You Use the TV As a Babysit­ter: A Sim­u­la­tion

Skin­ny girl: I’m sor­ry you have to go through this.
Sob­bing girl: I just…I just hope he’s go­ing to… be okay.
Skin­ny girl: Do you think that maybe you want to go and com­pose your­self in the of­fice?
Sob­bing girl: I was just… there. And I would… but the can­dy… sucks.
Skin­ny girl: I’ll… I’ll give you my last Men­tos.
Sob­bing girl: The Fresh­mak­er?

–The Met

Ooo, What About Ice Princess?

Teen #1: What do you think is like the best sports movie ever?
Teen #2: I think The Green Mile.
Teen #3: That ain’t no sports movie, man!
Teen #2: He was run­nin’!
Teen #1: I like Rudy.
Teen #2: Naw man, Rudy was a fuckin’ bench­warmer.
Teen #3: Naw, Rudy is all about how the lit­tle guy can per­se­vere.
Teen #1: I cried at Rudy.
Teen #3, touch­ing his heart: Yeah, man, Rudy hurts.

–A Train

Over­heard by: Bren­da

Hush, Lit­tle Wednes­day, Don’t You One-Lin­er

Moth­er to scream­ing child: Please stop cry­ing and put your coat on. I am not hurt­ing you or tor­tur­ing you, so please stop cry­ing.

–4th Ave, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: olive­juice

Fa­ther to kid who just start­ed cry­ing: Hey, stop! I thought I told you to wait un­til we got home!

–Park Slope, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Lu­cian

Guy to girl, on Valen­tine’s Day: You look fat when you cry.

–Cob­ble Hill

Over­heard by: MJB

His­pan­ic man on phone to girl­friend: Ma, why you cryin?! You should be break­ing up with me be­cause I hit you!

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry

Guy to girl­friend: I’m sor­ry I pulled your hair while you were cry­ing.

–Bow­ery & 2nd