Archive for the ‘Customers’ Category

…By Glaz­ing Over the Truth.

Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Give me six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, which ones?
Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: These are all donuts… Which ones?
Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, I’ll just give you a se­lec­tion of six. (starts putting ran­dom donuts in bag)
Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Six donuts, don’t trick me.

–Flat­bush, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Save the Whales, Save the Whole Thing

Are You Fuck­ing With Me, Ma’am?

An­i­mat­ed blonde sales­girl: If you get the ap­ple pome­gran­ate body but­ter…
Weary brunette: I on­ly see the dis­play.
An­i­mat­ed blonde sales­girl: We have more in the back. Okay, well, if you get two or more prod­ucts from the bath line, like this and our show­er gel, you get a free bath­tub!
Weary brunette: Huh?
(an­i­mat­ed blonde sales­girl points to a lit­tle plas­tic bath­tub)
Weary brunette: That’s… tiny. Like, I love the scent but I’m afraid I don’t have any kit­tens or fe­tus­es to bathe in that tiny tiny tub.

–Sepho­ra, Times Square

Jus­ti­fi­ably In­dig­nant?

White male cus­tomer: I want a small black cof­fee.
East In­di­an fe­male cashier: Do you want cream and sug­ar in that?
White male cus­tomer: No, I want it black.
East In­di­an fe­male cashier: Black?
White male cus­tomer, point­ing at pic­ture of black man in ad on the wall: Yes, black! I want it to look like that guy!

–Dunkin’ Donuts, 53rd & Lex

Over­heard by: next in line

Where Lawyers Come From

Spazzed cus­tomer: Yo, dude, I need some­thing to help me con­cen­trate. I have to take a re­al­ly big test and then I can for­get it all. I have to take the bar — have you heard of that? It’s for be­ing a lawyer.
Em­ploy­ee: Um, well, we have this herbal prod­uct to in­crease the blood flow to your brain.
Spazzed cus­tomer: Can I smoke pot with it?
Em­ploy­ee: Uh, sure.
Spazzed cus­tomer: Great. You take cred­it cards?
Em­ploy­ee: Yeah.
Spazzed cus­tomer: Great, thanks [leaves the store with­out buy­ing any­thing].

–GNC, As­to­ria

Why Tho­razine Is Con­traindi­cat­ed for Ser­vice Em­ploy­ees

Yan­kee fan: Yeah, I’ll have a grilled chick­en sand­wich and a vanil­la iced cof­fee.
Ap­a­thet­ic cashier: Crispy chick­en sand­wich?
Yan­kee fan: No, grilled, sor­ry about that–I thought I said grilled.
Ap­a­thet­ic cashier: And you want­ed a Di­et Coke?
Yan­kee fan: No, a vanil­la iced cof­fee.
Cashier: Oh.

–Mc­Don­ald’s, Yan­kee Sta­di­um

Over­heard by: Rachel W.