Little girl: Daddy, what’s wrong with Chinese people? Why do they never smile?
Dad: It’s because they’re robots.
Little girl: What about black people? Are black people robots?
Dad: No, not that I’m aware of.
–4 train
Overheard by: Audrey
Archive for the ‘Dads’ Category
Like Where Mommy Stores Her Tension
Four-year-old girl reading tag on the platform: B‑A-C-K-F-A‑T!
Supportive dad: Yeah, honey! That spells ‘back fat’!
–Ft. Hamilton Pkwy station
Overheard by: howardbannister
Why Is It That Men Can Only Do Things Halfway?
Little boy: Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! (points at bus with excitement)
Young dad: Close buddy, close. “Bus.”
–77th & 3rd
Overheard by: Ali
Son of the Moongoloid
Toddler boy: Look, Daddy! The airport!
Dad: That’s the moon, Milo.
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Claire Keaveney
Ask a New Yorker to Explain This One
Boy, 7: Daddy, I wanna see the Empire State Building.
Father: Sorry, son. That’s way uptown and we’re headed downtown.
–48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Christopher Mignemi
Or the Email I Sent You. Or the Registered Letter
Girl: Dad, I know what we are getting mom for Hanukkah.
Dad: What?
Girl: New mascara, hers is getting lumpy.
Dad: I think she deserves more than that.
Girl: If you want to see what I want, you can look at the folder on my desktop.
–86th & 3rd Ave
Little Anne Rice Was a Highly Particular Child
Girl dressed as vampire: Papa, did you bring snowflake?
Dad: No, baby, I forgot to pack him.
Girl dressed as vampire: Papa, I curse you.
–7 Train
Overheard by: The Vampire Newsbunny
… So Could You Please Go Buy a Tourniquet?
Dad: It just seems silly. Why risk a lot for a little?
Teen son: It’s not a little, it’s my life!
–14th & 6th
In Queens, If I Get My Way
Four-year-old boy: Dad, if I die, when will I come back?
Father: As far as I know, you won’t.
Four-year-old boy, untroubled, thoughtful: But…what if everyone dies?
Father: Well, other people will take their place. Because everyone doesn’t die at once. Know what I mean?
Four-year-old boy: Where will we put mom if she dies?
Mother, just arriving: Good grief!
Father: In the ground. In a box in the ground.
–Barnes & Noble
After All, That’s How Daddy Got You
Dad: Katie! Katie! Where are you?
Little girl emerges.
Dad: What are you doing?! Never do that again. You know what happens when you walk away from Daddy? Some evil man comes and decides to take you and keep you forever.
–ABC Carpet, 19th & Broadway
Overheard by: hjane
