JAP #1: It’s like, I can’t dance on the bar and dress slutty anymore. It’s just not appropriate.
JAP #2: You did it in college all the time.
JAP #1: But college is different! College is like being in Vegas…
JAP #2: Yeah, for four years!
–Columbus Circle
Columbia grad student: …developing a really spectacular
sense of intellectual arrogance.
–Columbia University
Professor, receiving text message in class: Ooh. That’s interesting. Invitation to go dancing, not from my girlfriend. Thank God I’ve got permission… We’re never going to get to anything today, are we? I’m so bad at this…
–Tisch School of the Arts, NYU
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Chinese professor: You see Chinese like tofu, you never use it.
–John Jay College
Overheard by: soccerking3t
Teen guy: So I ended up in a dress. I don’t think English class will ever be the same.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Natasha
Sadistic professor: Unfortunately we don’t flog people anymore. You usually pass out after you finish screaming.
–Fordham, the Bronx
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Drunken pre-med to drunken boy teetering on a concrete railing: Reed, if you fall, I’m not a doctor yet!
–West Village, 8th & 14th
Overheard by: annie
NYU girl to professor: So, if you’re sleeping with Nietzsche, you shouldn’t ask the question, "What are you thinking?"
–NYU classroom, Mercer & Houston
JAP girl on line: Why would I be boogieing at temple?
–H&M
Overheard by: Sandjiggie
Redhead JAP: It's too bright, I can't hear you…
–41st & 3rd
JAP: Is saving the whales still, like, a thing?
–F Train
20-something JAP on cell: I mean: I don't want to say that I live in a bubble, but the only people I've spoken to in the last week and a half are you and my doorman.
–42nd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Pete
Guy: So wait…what's your major?
Girl to group of friends: Booty poppin' bitches.
–Hunter College
Guy #1: There’s just no place to go dancing, you know?
Guy #2: You can’t find a dance club in New York?
Guy #1: No, it’s just not right –I really like to Lindy.
Guy #2: …
Guy #1: …
Guy #2: Dude. Where the hell do you learn to Lindy?
–34th & Broadway
Break-dancer #1, after kick-ass routine: Thanks very much for all your contributions…
Break-dancer #2: And remember! The more money you give us…
Break-dancer #1: The more money we have!
–C Train
Loud girl #1: So, are you going to tell Eric*?
Loud girl #2: It was a dance.
Loud girl #1: And a kiss.
Jamaican man, who has overheard: Oh. Oh, that’s cold. You ain’t gonna tell him?
Loud girl #2: I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me.
Jamaican man: This gon’ get ugly, you hear me?
Loud girl #2: Fine! I’ll tell him! Then you’ll see ugly.
Jamaican man: Jus’ call me Dear Abby.
–Elevator, Brooklyn
White girl #1: Do you dance hip hop?
White girl #2: I'm too white for that.
White girl #3: I can dance and I'm white.
White girl #2: But you're Russian? Russian people don't have any black people.
–32nd & 5th Ave
Young girl: I saw the funniest bum the other day. He was doing this little dance, it went like this. (mimics dance)
Friend (laughing): Yeah? Well, was he dressed up?
Young girl: Yeah, like a bum.
–50th & Broadway
A hobo is talking into his hand as if it were a phone.
Hobo: Fuck that shit. I’m going dancing!
He hangs up his imaginary phone.
Hobo: Damn, that bitch talks too much.
–Staten Island ferry