Bartender: Tonight I’ll be dancing on the bar every three hours. I normally dance every hour but I had an abortion yesterday.
Drinker: Oh.
–48th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: drunkberserker
Archive for the ‘Dancing’ Category
Nicole Richie’s Life Is Proceeding As Usual
Guy: I mean, she can come with and dance on the table.
Girl: I wanna see the baby!
–Avenue U & Coney Island Ave
Overheard by: I wanna go where they’re going.
Wednesday Conga Liners
Man on cell: Yeah, so do you know that show Dancing with the Stars? They got the idea for it from the camera in my shower.
–6th Ave & 55th St
Overheard by: Alicia
Aging badass to lady friend: Yeah, I totally got escorted out of a Tom Petty concert for dancing in the aisles.
–17th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Original Badass
Black guy: Hey everybody! Stop what you’re doing! There’s two black guys about to dance on this train! That’s something you don’t see often!
–A Train
Flamboyant gay man to friend: You can’t sashay in there. There’s no room to sashay at all.
–Outside LGBT Community Center, during Fur Ball
Overheard by: pandarants
Drunk Asian girl: It’s always time to dance in North Korea.
–2nd St & Ave B
With a Minor in the Asstecs
Guy: So wait…what’s your major?
Girl to group of friends: Booty poppin’ bitches.
–Hunter College
If It’s Invisible, Might As Well Make It a Cell
A hobo is talking into his hand as if it were a phone.
Hobo: Fuck that shit. I’m going dancing!
He hangs up his imaginary phone.
Hobo: Damn, that bitch talks too much.
–Staten Island ferry
Wednesday One-Liners Can Pick Up Quarters With No Hands
Girl on cell: Quite frankly, I’d rather be pole dancing.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: braincurve
Girl: I mean, I’m a stripper, but that don’t mean I’m a ho.
–Central Park
Guy on cell: I don’t get the whole Penthouse Club thing. There are strippers, and they serve you steak? I don’t want a fucking stripper on my lap while I’m eating steak. I’ve got a knife.
–Austin Street, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Ethan
Black girl: ‘Fo real, she makes all that money dancin’, and she can’t even herself get a weave?
–86th & 2nd
Wednesday One-liners’ Fashion Emergency
Guy on cell: Yeah, I’m going to dress her up in outfits again and make her dance.
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: kt
Hey, Kiss My Wednesday One-Liners
Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!
–8th Ave & W 55th St
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.
–Uptown 6 train
Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.
–NYU
Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds
Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?
–43rd & Lex
Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.
–Washington Heights
Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!
–115th St & Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Melissa Berry
When He Urinated in His Pants, I Applauded and Asked for an Encore.
Young girl: I saw the funniest bum the other day. He was doing this little dance, it went like this. (mimics dance)
Friend (laughing): Yeah? Well, was he dressed up?
Young girl: Yeah, like a bum.
–50th & Broadway
Plenty of Tricks Don’t Require Pants
Hobo: Do you have a dollar?
Suit: Yes.
Hobo: May I have it?
Suit: Shouldn’t you do a trick first?
Hobo: Fucker, I don’t even own pants! You want me to dance for that shit?
–49th Street station
Overheard by: dank
