Archive for the ‘Dancing’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Can Pick Up Quar­ters With No Hands

Girl on cell: Quite frankly, I’d rather be pole danc­ing.

–Bryant Park

Over­heard by: brain­curve

Girl: I mean, I’m a strip­per, but that don’t mean I’m a ho.

–Cen­tral Park

Guy on cell: I don’t get the whole Pent­house Club thing. There are strip­pers, and they serve you steak? I don’t want a fuck­ing strip­per on my lap while I’m eat­ing steak. I’ve got a knife.

–Austin Street, For­est Hills

Over­heard by: Ethan

Black girl: ‘Fo re­al, she makes all that mon­ey dancin’, and she can’t even her­self get a weave?

–86th & 2nd

Hey, Kiss My Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Drunk guy: Ex­cuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!

–8th Ave & W 55th St

Over­heard by: Fred Daubert

Cana­di­an guy: The first kiss’ll be at the al­tar.

–Up­town 6 train

Loud­mouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kiss­ing her, and then I like, just start­ed danc­ing with her. We were danc­ing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awe­some kiss­er.

–NYU

Over­heard by: lucy in the sky with di­a­monds

Girl on cell: I can’t re­mem­ber the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?

–43rd & Lex

Ghet­to chick leav­ing af­ter fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleed­ing, like you used to.

–Wash­ing­ton Heights

Girl on cell: He said he would­n’t leave un­til I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toi­let!

–115th St & Man­hat­tan Ave

Over­heard by: Melis­sa Berry

They Take Your Mon­ey and Don’t Care If You Live or Die

JAP #1: It’s like, I can’t dance on the bar and dress slut­ty any­more. It’s just not ap­pro­pri­ate.
JAP #2: You did it in col­lege all the time.
JAP #1: But col­lege is dif­fer­ent! Col­lege is like be­ing in Ve­gas…
JAP #2: Yeah, for four years!

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Use the So­crat­ic Method

Co­lum­bia grad stu­dent: …de­vel­op­ing a re­al­ly spec­tac­u­lar
sense of in­tel­lec­tu­al ar­ro­gance.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Pro­fes­sor, re­ceiv­ing text mes­sage in class: Ooh. That’s in­ter­est­ing. In­vi­ta­tion to go danc­ing, not from my girl­friend. Thank God I’ve got per­mis­sion… We’re nev­er go­ing to get to any­thing to­day, are we? I’m so bad at this…

–Tisch School of the Arts, NYU

Over­heard by: Matthew K John­son

Chi­nese pro­fes­sor: You see Chi­nese like to­fu, you nev­er use it.

–John Jay Col­lege

Over­heard by: soccerking3t

Teen guy: So I end­ed up in a dress. I don’t think Eng­lish class will ever be the same.

–Stuyvesant High School

Over­heard by: Natasha

Sadis­tic pro­fes­sor: Un­for­tu­nate­ly we don’t flog peo­ple any­more. You usu­al­ly pass out af­ter you fin­ish scream­ing.

–Ford­ham, the Bronx

Over­heard by: Jess Mc­Gins

Drunk­en pre-med to drunk­en boy tee­ter­ing on a con­crete rail­ing: Reed, if you fall, I’m not a doc­tor yet!

–West Vil­lage, 8th & 14th

Over­heard by: an­nie

NYU girl to pro­fes­sor: So, if you’re sleep­ing with Ni­et­zsche, you should­n’t ask the ques­tion, “What are you think­ing?”

–NYU class­room, Mer­cer & Hous­ton

The JDat­ing Of Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

JAP girl on line: Why would I be boo­gieing at tem­ple?

–H&M

Over­heard by: Sand­jig­gie

Red­head JAP: It’s too bright, I can’t hear you…

–41st & 3rd

JAP: Is sav­ing the whales still, like, a thing?

–F Train

20-some­thing JAP on cell: I mean: I don’t want to say that I live in a bub­ble, but the on­ly peo­ple I’ve spo­ken to in the last week and a half are you and my door­man.

–42nd St & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Pe­te