Man yelling from upper floor: Bitch! You lucky I can’t come down there and beat yo’ ass!
Woman yelling up from street: That’s why yo’ ass is in there!
–Brooklyn House of Detention for Men
Overheard by: Jimbo Jones
Archive for the ‘Default’ Category
Straight Guys Generally Regret Pursuing This Line of Questioning
Queer: Wow, he’s cute.
Straight guy: Yeah… So, do you want to fuck him?
Queer: No, I want him to fuck me.
–Central Park
We Prefer the Blue Wall of Silence
When Amy Doesn’t Understand Something, She Faints
Columbia professor [having just explained a relatively simple concept, turning to girl in front]: Do you understand this?
Girl: Yes.
Professor: Good. Because, you know, you’re really the canary in the coal mine for this class. If I can get you to get this, I’m set.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Bobby
And Then He Gave Us Candy
Kid #1, bouncing basketball on the sidewalk: Jesus was like: “Go back to earth and suffer… Or your ass is going to hell.”
Kid #2: Yeah…
–Bushwick Ave & Meserole St, East Williamsburg
Now Cover Your Eyes While I Disintegrate That Nice Waitress
Little boy: But how do I know you’re not part of the Martian menace?
Dad, deadpan: You don’t.
–110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Alexandra
Why Bill Cosby Stopped Wearing Those Sweaters
Girl in geometrical dress: Whoa!
Girl in solid print dress: What?!
Girl in geometrical dress: I just looked down at my dress and got so dizzy!
–Park Ave & 40th St
This Country Really Is a Meritocracy
Guy #1: He inherited something like 35 million after taxes.
Guy #2: What an asshole.
Guy #1 (laughing): Yeah, and you know he's gonna be fuckin' broke in like two years.
–30th & 6th
But I’m Not at All Happy with These Glasses
Chick: I like your grandma.
Guy: He’s a dude.
Chick: Oh… I like your grandpa.
–City College
Overheard by: Low Quality pictures online
We Should Move to the Country. Where I Can Beat You
Seven-year-old boy (spelling everything he says): D-a-d-c-a-n-I-h-a-v-e-a-d-o-g?
Dad: N-o-t-n-o-w.
Seven-year-old boy: Shut yo’ mouth!
–Uptown 6 Train