Girl #1: Ooh look, a new Whole Foods!
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: It looks nice. Have you been inside?
Girl #2: Yep, I’ve been inside.
Girl #1: How was it?
Girl #2: It was nice.
–E Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Ryan St.Clair
Archive for the ‘Default’ Category
The… Dude Police?
(drunk group of 20-somethings stumble out of a bar onto the street)
Unstable random lady: Alcoholic! You need to go to Alcoholics Anonymous!
Drunk guy: Dude, just mind your own business.
Unstable random lady: Don't call me dude! I'll call the cops on you!
–W 3rd & Thompson
You Should See My Notes for Sexual Anthropology
Teen girl #1: Don’t read it.
Teen boy: Really?
Teen girl #2: It’s so overrated. Everyone’s like “Oh my god, Frankenstien is awesome!” but it’s not. It isn’t. Frankenstein sucks so hard.
Teen girl #1: Victor spends half the book sick, and the monster spends half the book spying on a family with a hot Arabian chick.
Teen boy: What about all the torches and Igor and everything?
Teen girl #2: Not there.
Teen boy: For real?
Teen girl #1: Just a lot of a Swiss guy crying and lying on the floor. I even have it in my notes, “Victor says: ‘When in doubt, pass out!'” And there’s a stick figure giving a thumbs up.
–Forbidden Planet
The Coppertone Girl’s Mom Knew a Moneymaker When She Saw One
Mother: Do you sell M&M booty shorts for little girls?
Cashier: Um… No.
Mother: Oh well… thank you.
–M&M’s World
People Who Live in New Jersey Should Not Throw Stones
Drunk fan: Martin Brodeur fucked his sister-in-law.
Sober pisser: That’s worse than OJ Simpson.
Drunk fan: Yeah, he’s French Canadian.
–Madison Square Garden bathroom
Overheard by: TrueBlue
And That Turd Looks a Lot More Like St. Ignatius
Little boy: I see Jesus, I see Jesus!!
Mother, pulling on little boys arm: Stop using that word, Billy!
–Ladies Room, Brooklyn Restaurant
I Grudgingly Obey the Laws of This Godless Democracy
Middle East man, exiting his vendor cart: But I miss you!
Retreating American woman: You have, like, five wives and three girlfriends.
Middle East man: No! I do not!
–13th & 5th
Overheard by: Colleen
Boys Take Non-Poking Very Literally
Teen girl: I was so mad at him that I unfriended him on Facebook.
Friend: What does that mean?
Teen girl: I was mad, but not mad enough to break up. This way we can still message each other, but he can't poke me anymore.
Friend: So, technically, would this be symbolic or metaphorical action?
Teen girl: What?
Friend: Nevermind.
–Penn Station
Preferably with Uprooted Oaks, although Maples Usually Get the Message Across
Young mom to disabled son: I do everything for you — I move trees for you, and then you fuck it up and I have to wale on you!
–24th & 2nd
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Complimenting My Genitals Does Nothing to Contradict My Argument
Junior high kid: Nice bike, fag!
Guy on moped: Nice prepubescent penis, kid!
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Matthew