Dumb chick #1: What are those Jewish people with the curls called?
Dumb chick #2: I think they’re called “aesthetic Jews.” Or “hestetic Jews.“
Dumb chick #1: Oh. I though they were Amish.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Overheard by: I know what they’re called
Dude with clipboard to couple passing by: Excuse me, you two! Sign this! It’s your independent right as an American.
Guy: No, thanks. I hate rights.
Chick: Yeah, just being told what to do rocks.
Guy: Conforming is sweet.
–Bleecker St
Little girl, happily: And that’s why I want to die.
Father, laughing: Why’s that?
Little girl: So I can join the Grateful Dead!
–City Hall
Girl #1: I met a guy. He’s paying for tickets.
Girl #2: Oh, does he have money?
Girl #1: Of course! I wouldn’t do it otherwise.
–Forest Hills
Little boy: I see Jesus, I see Jesus!!
Mother, pulling on little boys arm: Stop using that word, Billy!
–Ladies Room, Brooklyn Restaurant
Remote control car vendor #1, to hot chick passerby: Hey, baby, I got a pretty girl discount!
Remote control car vendor #2: Yeah, I’m giving out free babies. Free babies!
–181st & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh H
Little girl: Where are we going now?
Mother: Chinatown.
Little girl: Vagina town?
Mother, chuckling: No — China-town.
Little girl, coyly: Well, I live in peeenis-town.
Mother: Okay, Lila.
–Union Square
Overheard by: S.S.
Hot girl #1: It’s the guy on the end of the train.
Hot girl #2: Wow. It’s amazing the human body can smell like that and still be alive.
–Coney Island-bound F train
[Man enters train.]Man: Damn! I have jury duty today…
Random girl: Dude, that sucks. I’m sorry. But hey, it could be worse.
Man: Yeah, it could be worse, I could be on trial.
–R Train
Woman: Where is the men section?
Employee: This is the men section.
Woman: Oh, wow!
–Express For Him
Overheard by: Express
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
