Girl to random person next to her: I’m one of those shiny people.
–C Train
Archive for the ‘Default’ Category
To Be Fair, the Nun’s Habit Tends to Throw a Person Off
Chick #1: Did you make out with a hooker?
Dude: I didn’t *make out* with anyone!
Chick #2: Did you seventh-grade kiss a hooker?
Chick #1: Did you seventh-grade *think* about kissing a hooker?
Dude: I didn’t even know she was a hooker until twenty minutes into our conversation!
–F Train
Wednesday One-Liners Get Their Mouths Washed Out with Soap
Gleeful little boy: We will, we will fuck you! We will, we will fuck you! [Bursts into giggles.]
–1 train
Overheard by: caitlinj
Guy: I mean, I wasn’t expecting being fucked, either!
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Mariah
Guy on cell: You know what? Cleo fucked you, so fuck it — we’re fucked.
–Forest Hills
Tough guy with five-year-old: Hey, buddy! Don’t fucking push me! I’ve got my fuckin’ kid here!
–1 train
Overheard by: wba
Hispanic lady with stroller, on cell: Mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Fuckin’ asshole [Spanish]… Son of a [Spanish]… Fuckin’ mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Bunny rabbit [Spanish]… Fuck.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N (doesn’t speak Spanish)
Um…Yes
(guy sits next to perfect stranger)
Guy: Are you dating someone?
Girl: No.
Guy: Can I have your number?
Girl: No.
Guy: Is it because I’m black?
Girl: Of course not.
Guy: Is it because you’re a lesbian?
–C Train
Hoping to Recapture the Life She Had Before Me and You
Little girl: Where’s mommy?
Father: I told you, sweetie. Mommy’s getting her new tattoo.
–10 St & 6th Ave
Just Keep Walking ’til Your Feet Get Wet
Woman: How do we know where it is?
Man: That guy said it’s at the end of the street.
Woman: Yeah, well, where does the street end?
–Outside of St James Theatre
Overheard by: howdumbareyou
In That It Is a Building and Is in New York
Asian tourist: Excuse me. Excuse me!
Guy: Yeah?
Asian tourist, pointing at random building: Is that the Empire State Building?!
Guy: Yes.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Priscilla Perez
I Haven’t Felt That Way Since Dorothy Threw the Bucket on Me
Professor, after student coughs: Yes. Yes. I’m just getting over my cold. You saw me! In the theater, I was a row ahead of you!
Student: Yeah…
Professor, with infinite sadness: I had a coughing fit. I…I just…melted. I melted.
–NYU
Nothing to Compete With That
Girl #1: What did you do last night?
Girl #2: Wandered around Goldman Sachs with a Sesame Street pillow. You?
Girl #1: Um…
–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
The Art of Conversation Has Died with the Rise of the iPod
White guy #1: I was listening to Celia Cruz.
Spanish guy: Yeah, I’ve been to Santa Cruz.
White guy #2: What? Santa Claus?
–48th & 6th
