Archive for the ‘Default’ Category

Translation: “God, I Need a Woman.”

Man: Yeah, my mother raised me right. I make sure I eat breakfast every day.
Woman: Mmm-hmm.
Man: I have sardines and grits every day.
Woman: Sardines?
Man: Hell, yes. Sometimes I give some of the gravy to the cats, and they go crazy for it. I mean, it don’t matter if they just ate or nothing, they just love the gravy.
Woman: Mmm-hmm.
Man: Gravy. I usually give them a little of whatever I cook. You know, and then they either eat it or they don’t. They like turn their heads away if they don’t like it. But they sure like gravy. Gravy.

–B26 Bus, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Ten Bucks Says He Asks Her Out Before They Get to Their Floor

Ugly guy: Yeah, we broke up because it just didn’t work out between us. We had too many differences.
Pretty girl: I’m sorry to hear that. How long has it been?
Ugly guy: Years, so I’m over it. Well, we were swingers so it got complicated. Well, — I was a swinger. She wasn’t.
Pretty girl: Ummm… (stares at wall) Great elevator conversation!

–Elevator, Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway