Archive for the ‘Democrats’ Category

For a Pre-Mar­i­tal Look at a Pussy

Woman: Her par­ents are Re­pub­li­cans! They must be! I knew that I would even­tu­al­ly be­come a tar­get of the Re­pub­li­can con­spir­a­cy.
Man: Why do you say that?
Woman: Don’t you see? They’re ob­vi­ous­ly try­ing to turn our son against us by tak­ing him out of the coun­try.
Man: If they’re Re­pub­li­cans, why would they be bring­ing him to France?

–Cob­ble Hill

That Makes Ju­dah Ben­jamin the First Neo­con

Girl: In­de­pen­dence Day? I don’t be­lieve peo­ple are cel­e­brat­ing it this year, what with the war and every­thing!
Guy: Yeah…
Girl: I mean peo­ple want to cel­e­brate like every­thing is fine, while we have the worst Pres­i­dent ever in of­fice fuck­ing every­thing up!
Guy: I would­n’t say that…
Girl: What? How can you say that? Name an­oth­er Pres­i­dent who has done more to fuck up this coun­try?
Guy: Well, we will al­ways have Jef­fer­son Davis.

–Park Slope

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers for Tam­many Hall

Girl with Oba­ma pin: Oh my god, I can’t be­lieve I spent this whole night hang­ing out with a Re­pub­li­can!

–104th St & Man­hat­tan Ave

Over­heard by: Emi­ly

Guy to friends: There’s on­ly one thing I want him to shove down my throat, and it’s not his Re­pub­li­can ideals.

–43rd & 8th

Gov­’t. Teacher: Some­times you wan­na smack a mod­er­ate.

–Cur­tis High School, Stat­en Is­land

Over­heard by: jules

Woman: I blame Mc­Cain for the snow.

–St. Mark’s & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: Philip & Richard

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers for Change

Black la­dy to fam­i­ly in oba­ma t‑shirts: You know how all those irish peo­ple have pic­tures of kennedy hang­ing up in their liv­ing rooms? Now we can do that too!

–Whole Foods, Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: Def­i­nite­ly has a JFK pic­ture in her apart­ment

Guy sell­ing oba­ma-themed con­doms: Re­mem­ber the elec­tion with every erec­tion!

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Mary But­ton

Black woman with a child in her stroller braid­ing her hair: There’s go­na be a lot of braidin in the white house.

–1 Train

Over­heard by: Sub­way surfer

Woman on cell phone: Girl, if I can get to the front of the line at the vma’s I can get to the front of the line at the damn in­au­gu­ra­tion. Shi­i­i­it it’s barack oba­ma, girl!

–man­hat­tan den­tal wait­ing room

Over­heard by: Cather­ine

Stoned kid to a group of his friends dis­cussing pol­i­tics: You know what’s scary bro? If oba­ma gets as­sas­si­nat­ed, george bush is gonna be pres­i­dent again.

–1 Train @ 2AM go­ing Down­town

Black man hand­ing out metro: “get your oba­ma metro! Get your oba­ma metro! See, any­one can be pres­i­dent… I’m next!”

–59th Street, Lex­ing­ton Ave

Over­heard by: Yes we can!

Let’s Chip in and Get Wednes­day One-Lin­ers a GPS for Christ­mas

Con­fused Amer­i­can: I used to think At­lantic City was in At­lantic State.

–Down­town A Train

Over­heard by: MBS

Drunk guy: I don’t un­der­stand why peo­ple are giv­ing Sarah Palin so much grief over that Rus­sia thing. It re­al­ly *is* pret­ty close to Alas­ka.

–W 66th St

Over­heard by: Emi­ly B.

An­ti-Mc­Cain dude to an­oth­er: Man, Sarah Palin is crazy. Yo, she’s just crazy. Why did John Mc­Cain even pick her? She’s not even an Amer­i­can cit­i­zen, she’s Alaskan!

–The Bronx

Ner­vous white la­dy: Um, is the Broadway/Lafayette stop com­ing up soon?

–Up­town 1 Train

UPS guy to lost tourists: I’m not a GPS! I’m the UPS!

–Prince & Lafayette

Over­heard by: dee