Archive for the ‘Desi’ Category

Over­heard in Wednes­day One-Lin­er

20-some­thing dude to an­oth­er: It’s so hard to get laid in this city be­fore 11 pm!

–M‑15 Bus

Hot­tie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white per­son.

–28th & 29th

Over­heard by: A black per­son from Chica­go

20-some­thing male to fe­male: So you’d bet­ter be pre­pared. It’s like the Times Square of New York.

–16th St & Union Square

Over­heard by: An­nie B

Mid­dle-aged His­pan­ic dude to In­di­an sales­per­son: This is New York City. No­body’s gonna kill you, okay?

–Rite-Aid

Young gay man: That’s what I hate about New York City. It’s such a fuck­ing small town.

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: molls

The Wednes­day One-Lin­er That Nev­er Sleeps

20-some­thing girl to friend: I’m sor­ry, but what is the big fuck­ing deal with eat­ing on the side­walk? Back court­yard? Sure. Rooftop? Fuck, yeah! But the fuck­ing side­walk? Home­less peo­ple up in my face. Loud trucks up in my ears. Car­cino­gens up in my lungs. I mean… re­al­ly? New York­ers are all fucked up.

–2nd Ave b/w 6th & 7th

Over­heard by: Dodd Loomis

Ditzy blond tourist: New York is the most for­eign place in Amer­i­ca I’ve ever been to!

–F Train

Over­heard by: Chelsea S.

In­di­an guy on phone: I don’t wan­na be like the Ben­gali fob! I’m gonna show up and be like the orig­i­nal New York gangs­ta!

–B61 Bus

Bar cus­tomer to ta­ble next to him: I need to vis­it New York, every­one that vis­its is al­ways hap­py. Every­one that lives here in New York is al­ways mis­er­able.

–Cham­bers St

Lit­tle boy, with great ex­cite­ment: I just tripped in New York City!

–Times Square

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Got the Part!

Con­duc­tor in thick In­di­an ac­cent: Every­body’s stressed out on their way to work, but re­mem­ber you on­ly came on the train with two hands! If you feel a third hand on you, feel free to do what­ev­er you want with it!

–Up­town A Train

Over­heard by: megan rose

Young woman on cell: Dad­dy? Mom­my said you called. Is it about your tes­ti­cles?

–78th & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Bob

Man on cell: I just saw this hu­man fe­male walk by with these legs…

–So­Ho

Over­heard by: An­oth­er hu­man fe­male

Pass­ing fe­male cowork­er: Stick my fin­ger up to the mid­dle knuck­le to make sure it’s warm.

–31st St

Dorky guy to friends: So then she gets on the ta­ble and the next thing you know, one leg is over her head and I just did­n’t know what to do with my­self…

–3rd & 23rd

Over­heard by: tila

Jer­sey la­dy: Now I have to strad­dle him, hold on to his ears, and do it.

–Metro North Train

Over­heard by: Wow. Just… wow.

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers: Ribbed for Her Plea­sure

Loud of­fice chick: Oh my god, I found, like, four con­doms on the book­shelf!

–Hud­son St

Over­heard by: Har­ri­et Vane

Se­ri­ous teen on cell: If you use a con­dom… It does­n’t count.

–Mur­ray Hill

40-some­thing woman to two 20-year-old men: Don’t be­lieve any girl when she tells you she’s on birth con­trol. Take your con­dom and keep it in your wal­let.

–19th St & 5th Ave

Over­heard by: Mc­Crum

Guy on cell: You’re just mad be­cause your dick is tiny and the con­dom slipped off.

–Green­point, Brook­lyn

Pow­er­walk­ing In­di­an woman: I mean, is­n’t that why I went on the pill? So guys can come in me?

–40th & Queens Blvd, Queens

Over­heard by: Ohmarkus