Archive for the ‘Diet/Weight’ Category

Think I Could Pass Off Bulimia As Repeated Exorcisms?

Black girl #1: You look great. You are like wasting away from your fast.
Black girl #2: Thanks! I asked my brother the other day if I continued fasting after Lent ends, would that be considered a diet or just anorexia?
Black girl #3: Oh my god! I always want to do that.
Black girl #2: He said anorexia, but I'm still thinking about it.

–Town Hall, 43rd St

Overheard by: jesus would be so proud

Pop Quiz: How Many Faces Do the Girls Have? Show Your Work.

Skinny girl in dress: Okay, what do you guys think?
Friend #1: Oh my god, it looks so good on you.
Friend #2: I love it!
Skinny girl: Really? I don’t know…
Friend #1: Seriously — you should get it. It looks awesome on you.
Friend #2: If I were you, I’d totally get it.
Skinny girl: Okay… Thanks! I think I will. [Retreats into fitting room.]Friend #1: God, she is so disgustingly skinny, it sickens me.
Friend #2: I could throw up right now.

–H&M fitting room, Broadway & Spring

Overheard by: lc

NewsFlash: Crackhead Slain on 2 Train! Film at Eleven.

Crackhead to white girl: I want a little white girl. Okay, a little white lily, she so mad, I want a little white girl, not a black girl, they broke my heart too many times. You think I'm harassing you because you're white and I'm black.
Girl on train: I'm not white, okay? I'm not white, stop looking at me. I don't look remotely white, or Caucasian.
Crackhead: I'm not into fat girls, so I'll look somewhere else. I'm not into fat jokes, just black jokes. You probably think I'm into white guys, not white girls, just call me gay. Are you trying to slip away?
Girl on train: Did he just call me fat?

–Downtown 2 Train

And That Was When Fat Albert Went Straight

Five thugs ascending subway steps see cop on the street: Ho! The pigs! Oink! Busted! [They run and one starts breathing heavily, wheezing.]Cop: Maybe you should have taken the elevator.
Fat thug: Shit! There’s an elevator?! Where’s the elevator?! [After they all go to look for the elevator] There’s no elevator! He tricked us!

–Lorimer St, Brooklyn