Old man: I’m picking up a big-legged woman in Stamford.
Conductor: Oh, that’s good.
Old man: Yeah, she’s 300 pounds.
Conductor: Okay.
Old man: Yes. A very large woman is waiting for me in Stamford.
Conductor: Sounds like you’re excited.
Old man: Yeah, and she has a rack, too!
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Reilly
Young woman: Oh… I don’t eat dinner anymore. That’s my new thing.
–Bloomingdale’s, 59th St & Lex
Overheard by: Emily Duncanson
Mother to size‑4 daughter: If you were skinny you’d look good in these clothes.
–Zara, Lex & 59th St
Queer: Go ahead, get dessert. You can just purge it up later.
–Azul Bistro, Stanton St & Suffolk St
Girl on cell: Why do you always ask if I’m anorexic? What’s so wrong about being bulimic?
–7 train
Overheard by: Dorothy
Ana girl: Look at those kids eating… Eating…
–Lowes, Times Square
Overheard by: julia
Guy: Please, I did so much coke, I can fit into these pants.
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Queer on cell: Eating disorders are healthy.
–23rd St & 8th St
Overheard by: Also a Homo
Zaftig female usher: I’m trying so hard to lose weight, but I’m having the hardest time!
Obese female usher: You have to cut out sugar. That’s what I do.
–Avenue Q, Golden Theatre
Mother: Shit, girl. You ain’t getting no more cheese for the rest of eternity if I got anything to do with it.
Young girl, crying: I hope I die.
Mother: Well, when you die, heaven help you, they know you lactose intolerant up there, too. So no funny stuff, understand?
–B63 bus, Park Slope
Overheard by: John Proctor
Chubby girl customer: So, no fights in here today?
Middle-aged sandwich artist: What happened to you?
Chubby girl customer: I was scared to come back after last time!
Middle-aged sandwich artist: No, I mean, you’re gaining weight.
–Subway sandwich shop, Times Square
Overheard by: Emma
Girl #1: I can’t go out with him. He’s fat.
Girl #2: So are you.
Girl #1: Really? Oh… yeah.
–Applebee’s, Times Square
Overheard by: eee!
Chick #1: The girl puts on 10 pounds and nobody wants her.
Chick #2: But she did cocaine.
Chick #1: Big deal! Everyone does cocaine!
–Conde Nast Building, Times Square
Customer: Hey, you lost a lot of weight.
Barista: No, I gave birth two weeks ago.
Customer: To a baby?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: mjw51
Suit on phone: I don’t think she knows. (pause) But it’s just a night job! (pause) No, there’s no way I’m pregnant. (pause) Why not?! Because I’m a man, goddammit!
–Starbucks
Woman on cell: So remember that time I thought I had that miscarriage?
–Grand Concourse & Fordham Road
Overheard by: Erica S
Slightly overweight girl: Thank you for the offer, sweetie, but I’m not pregnant. I’m just fat!
–M100 Bus
Overheard by: Tinathetiny
Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were going to impregnate *me*. I wanna have *your* children.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: Ken Paprocki
Chick #1: Did you eat anything tonight?
Chick #2: No. I haven’t been eating much lately, but not in the unhealthy way.
–Bowery & Spring
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
