Archive for the ‘Diet/Weight’ Category

I’m More of a Fourth-Date Girl

Teen girl: It’s just… Even though he was fat, I liked him because of his personality. But once I actually saw his penis, or more like lack of a penis, that was just the last straw. I mean, you can be kinda fat with an awesome personality, but you’ve gotta have a good-sized dick, y’know?
Friend: Wait, you didn’t know he had a small dick until last week?!

–56th & 3rd

Overheard by: samantha

Wednesday One-Liners Would Rather Be Thin and Dead

Young woman: Oh… I don’t eat dinner anymore. That’s my new thing.

–Bloomingdale’s, 59th St & Lex

Overheard by: Emily Duncanson

Mother to size‑4 daughter: If you were skinny you’d look good in these clothes.

–Zara, Lex & 59th St

Queer: Go ahead, get dessert. You can just purge it up later.

–Azul Bistro, Stanton St & Suffolk St

Girl on cell: Why do you always ask if I’m anorexic? What’s so wrong about being bulimic?

–7 train

Overheard by: Dorothy

Ana girl: Look at those kids eating… Eating…

–Lowes, Times Square

Overheard by: julia

Guy: Please, I did so much coke, I can fit into these pants.

–3rd Ave & 14th St

Queer on cell: Eating disorders are healthy.

–23rd St & 8th St

Overheard by: Also a Homo

Hard to Imagine Heaven without Cheese

Mother: Shit, girl. You ain’t getting no more cheese for the rest of eternity if I got anything to do with it.
Young girl, crying: I hope I die.
Mother: Well, when you die, heaven help you, they know you lactose intolerant up there, too. So no funny stuff, understand?

–B63 bus, Park Slope

Overheard by: John Proctor