Teen #1: So, did your friend come by?
Teen #2: Yeah, for a quick hot minute. And girl, she’s sooo skinny. And she’s pregnant… And she’s a lesbian.
Teen #1: Ohhh…
Teen #2: I told her she could be on Jerry Springer.
–4 train
Overheard by: NinjaRider
Archive for the ‘Diet/Weight’ Category
And Prickly
Mom: Let’s take the stairs, honey.
Thick daughter: Are you saying I’m fat?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Jason
I’m More of a Fourth-Date Girl
Teen girl: It’s just… Even though he was fat, I liked him because of his personality. But once I actually saw his penis, or more like lack of a penis, that was just the last straw. I mean, you can be kinda fat with an awesome personality, but you’ve gotta have a good-sized dick, y’know?
Friend: Wait, you didn’t know he had a small dick until last week?!
–56th & 3rd
Overheard by: samantha
Okay, Now You’re Just Bragging.
Old man: I’m picking up a big-legged woman in Stamford.
Conductor: Oh, that’s good.
Old man: Yeah, she’s 300 pounds.
Conductor: Okay.
Old man: Yes. A very large woman is waiting for me in Stamford.
Conductor: Sounds like you’re excited.
Old man: Yeah, and she has a rack, too!
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Reilly
Wednesday One-Liners Would Rather Be Thin and Dead
Young woman: Oh… I don’t eat dinner anymore. That’s my new thing.
–Bloomingdale’s, 59th St & Lex
Overheard by: Emily Duncanson
Mother to size‑4 daughter: If you were skinny you’d look good in these clothes.
–Zara, Lex & 59th St
Queer: Go ahead, get dessert. You can just purge it up later.
–Azul Bistro, Stanton St & Suffolk St
Girl on cell: Why do you always ask if I’m anorexic? What’s so wrong about being bulimic?
–7 train
Overheard by: Dorothy
Ana girl: Look at those kids eating… Eating…
–Lowes, Times Square
Overheard by: julia
Guy: Please, I did so much coke, I can fit into these pants.
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Queer on cell: Eating disorders are healthy.
–23rd St & 8th St
Overheard by: Also a Homo
She Stopped Eating the Granulated Kind Straight from the Bag
Zaftig female usher: I’m trying so hard to lose weight, but I’m having the hardest time!
Obese female usher: You have to cut out sugar. That’s what I do.
–Avenue Q, Golden Theatre
Hard to Imagine Heaven without Cheese
Mother: Shit, girl. You ain’t getting no more cheese for the rest of eternity if I got anything to do with it.
Young girl, crying: I hope I die.
Mother: Well, when you die, heaven help you, they know you lactose intolerant up there, too. So no funny stuff, understand?
–B63 bus, Park Slope
Overheard by: John Proctor
NYC Rules Require This to Continue Until the First “Fuck You”
Chubby girl customer: So, no fights in here today?
Middle-aged sandwich artist: What happened to you?
Chubby girl customer: I was scared to come back after last time!
Middle-aged sandwich artist: No, I mean, you’re gaining weight.
–Subway sandwich shop, Times Square
Overheard by: Emma
Panda Bears Go Through This on a Daily Basis
Girl #1: I can’t go out with him. He’s fat.
Girl #2: So are you.
Girl #1: Really? Oh… yeah.
–Applebee’s, Times Square
Overheard by: eee!
You Hear That, Mary-Kate? Come Out of Hiding!
Chick #1: The girl puts on 10 pounds and nobody wants her.
Chick #2: But she did cocaine.
Chick #1: Big deal! Everyone does cocaine!
–Conde Nast Building, Times Square
