Archive for the ‘Diet/Weight’ Category

Make Womb for Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Suit on phone: I don’t think she knows. (pause) But it’s just a night job! (pause) No, there’s no way I’m preg­nant. (pause) Why not?! Be­cause I’m a man, god­dammit!

–Star­bucks

Woman on cell: So re­mem­ber that time I thought I had that mis­car­riage?

–Grand Con­course & Ford­ham Road

Over­heard by: Er­i­ca S

Slight­ly over­weight girl: Thank you for the of­fer, sweet­ie, but I’m not preg­nant. I’m just fat!

–M100 Bus

Over­heard by: Tina­thetiny

Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were go­ing to im­preg­nate *me*. I wan­na have *your* chil­dren.

–Prince & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Ken Pa­proc­ki

Yup. I Could Tell from That Nau­se­at­ed Look on Your Face.

Woman #1 in el­e­va­tor: Why aren’t you wear­ing a jack­et? You’re go­ing to be freez­ing!
Woman #2: I don’t need one. It’s be­cause I’m fat.
Woman #1: (si­lence)
Woman #2: You know it’s true. You’re not say­ing any­thing be­cause you know I’m fat. Most peo­ple would say, “No, no, no. You’re not fat!” but you’re not say­ing that be­cause you think I’m fat. Think about it.
Woman #1: I’m think­ing about it.

–39th St

NYC: The Best Restau­rants Beget the Best Eat­ing Dis­or­ders

Well-dressed girl #1: You know what?
Well-dressed girl #2: What?
Well-dressed girl #1: Throw­ing up at work re­al­ly is­n’t as bad as it seems.

–Prince Street be­tween Lafayette & Mul­ber­ry

Waif #1: Ugh. I feel so fat…I feel so gross. I’m not go­ing to fit in­to any of my sum­mer clothes…I’ve been try­ing to be so good, go­ing to the gym every­day and every­thing.
Waif #2: You’re not fat.
Waif #1: Yes I am. You can on­ly say that be­cause you’re thin…I ate a sal­ad to­day for lunch. But then I just ate all of these sweet thinga­ma­jig­gies.

–W train

Over­heard by: No­ra S.

Co­lum­bia chick on cell: …I mean, like, yes­ter­day I to­tal­ly pigged out on sal­ad.

–116th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: djlindee