Archive for the ‘Dildos and Vibrators’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are An­oth­er Year Old­er but None the Wis­er

20-some­thing: I did­n’t even re­al­ize it was my birth­day un­til I checked Face­book!

–Up­per West Side

Over­heard by: mtraine­ti­quette

Girl to friend: We should cel­e­brate tonight–it’s my half birth­day in 10 days.

–Croc­o­dile Lounge, E 14th St

Tourist: See no­body is wear­ing birth­day scars…

–34th St & 5th Ave

Guy to girl: Wait, did you re­al­ly be­lieve I was go­ing to get you a Hel­lo Kit­ty vi­bra­tor for your birth­day?

–45th & 8th

Drunk girl to hobo: It’s my birth­day! You should be giv­ing *me* mon­ey!

–111 & Broad­way

I’d Rather Date Her

Boyfriend hold­ing up slut­ty top: What about this one?
Girl­friend: If you were a girl you’d be the biggest skank in New York.

–Char­lotte Russe, Man­hat­tan Mall, 33rd & 6th

Head­line by: Scott

Run­ners-Up:

· “And knock the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty right off that pedestal.” — LORI

· “But at least it flat­ters my man-boobs” — An­drew

· “I learned from the best” — Bre­anne S.

· “Putting the “Ho” back in “Home­boy”” — cinekat

· “What She Does­n’t Know Won’t Hurt Her” — Al­i­son R.


Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers? Kinky!

300-pound girl on phone: Girl, you showed your whole booty crack? I know, he’s in­to that kinky down­town shit.

–14th St & 6th Ave

Over­heard by: bas­tar­do

Loud up­state girl: I think…doin’ any kin­da re­search in­ta fur­ries? You’re in trou­ble.

–Hud­son & Hous­ton

Over­heard by: Har­ri­et Vane

Hoochie: I mean, you gonna hand­cuff me, then hand­cuff me. But, you know, when I got­ta go do my shit, I got­ta go.

–1st St & 1st Ave

Over­heard by: ste­phie

Curly-haired girl on cell: I’ve to­tal­ly got a cold too! But I’ve al­so got bondage tape. And a cell phone ac­ti­vat­ed vi­bra­tor.

–Ouidad sa­lon

Over­heard by: Wild Dog Boy

Suit to an­oth­er, while hav­ing lunch on bench: You put duct tape on her mouth and you do it from be­hind.

–Cen­tral Park

Guy at ta­ble: You know, she’s a qual­i­ty girl, even when I was in hand­cuffs, I could tell that she was a qual­i­ty girl.

–Carnegie Deli

Over­heard by: Spazz

Like Be­ing Pum­meled by Thou­sands of Tiny Penis­es

Sales­man demon­strat­ing mas­sager on self: It’s sup­posed to be heavy so that the weight of it helps mas­sage your shoul­ders.
Mid­dle-aged woman, unim­pressed: What about that one?
Sales­man, pick­ing up new mas­sager: This is a vi­bra­tor.
Mid­dle-aged woman: [Stunned silence.]Salesman: Uh, I mean, it op­er­ates us­ing vi­bra­tion — the first one’s called a per­cus­sion mas­sager. It’s just a… dif­fer­ent type of mas­sager.

–Brook­stone, Man­hat­tan Mall

Over­heard by: she did­n’t buy ei­ther one