Archive for the ‘Dominicans’ Category

For Emi­ly, Wher­ev­er This Quote May Find Her

Guy on cell talk­ing loud­ly: Where the fuck are you, Emi­ly? (pause) Are you shop­ping? Don’t lie to me, Emi­ly! I will come over there and fuck­ing beat the dogshit out of you. (pause) I don’t care if I go to jail, it will be worth it to slap your ly­ing ass around. (pause) You don’t buy me shit, Emi­ly. Do you buy me my un­der­wear? No! Do you buy me socks? No! I do. What about all those purs­es and shoes you have? Me!
Ran­dom Do­mini­can teenage girl: Damn, Emi­ly re­al­ly don’t buy him noth­ing.

–Lucky Star Bus

Over­heard by: chi­na­town bus trav­el­er

Wednes­day One-Liners–No Apolo­gies Nec­es­sary

Suit on cell: I swear, I’m go­ing to make her the sor­ri­est crip­pled girl in New York.

–Av­enue C

Hip­ster on iPhone: Hel­lo? I’m sor­ry. I can’t hear you–I have an iPhone.

–6th & 27th

Hip­ster girl to out-of-town friend: Sor­ry about the smell, this area just re­cent­ly gen­tri­fied.

–Or­chard Street b/w Broome & Grand

Loud, drunk, British girl to boyfriend: We don’t know each oth­er’s minds ‑we can’t read each oth­er’s minds! So when you do some­thing I don’t like and I tell you and then lat­er you do some­thing I don’t like and I tell you again… Well that’s two sor­ries in one day! And “sor­ry” is just a word, but you’re learn­ing about me! About my mind.

–Broad­way & Wa­ver­ly

Over­heard by: rpk

Woman on cell: Oh sor­ry, I have to go. Re­mem­ber that woman that got preg­nant by a bear? Yeah, I just ran in­to her.

–As­tor Place

Do­mini­can to friend: And just wait un­til I tell them all he’s Do­mini­can… he’ll re­al­ly be sor­ry then!

–5th Ave, near Em­pire State Build­ing

Over­heard by: Rich Mintz

Nah, I’m Too De­pressed to Hy­poth­e­size

Do­mini­can guy: I re­al­ly like your hair­cut.
Brook­lyn guy: Yeah, the women at work re­al­ly liked it, but I nev­er take any­thing they say se­ri­ous­ly be­cause I know how ug­ly I am.
Do­mini­can guy: Yeah, I know what you mean. You know like when women say “I want to be with you,” but they re­al­ly don’t do that…
Brook­lyn guy: Okay, this is the on­ly thing that is go­ing to be true of what I say from now on. Every girl I asked out has said yes, but did­n’t mean it.
Do­mini­can guy: Is this a hy­po­thet­i­cal sit­u­a­tion?

–Harlem

Guess That Ex­plains Why Your Grades Have Start­ed to Sag

Loud Do­mini­can kid #1: Yo, that girl Adri­ana…
Loud Do­mini­can kid #2: Who, that white girl?
Loud Do­mini­can kid #3: Yeah­h­hh, with the big tit­ties?
Loud Do­mini­can kid #1: Yeaaah­hh, she was, like, lean­ing over helpin’ me with a prob­lem and I was like “yeaaah­h­hh…“
Loud Do­mini­can kid: Word?
Loud Do­mini­can kid #2: She got like c‑cups…
Loud Do­mini­can kid #3: Wait, I don’t, like, know the al­pha­bet…

–L Train

Over­heard by: Lar­son

One Of the Few Coun­tries the U.S. Nev­er Tried to In­vade

Do­mini­can girl #1: Yo, when you go to the Do­mini­can re­pub­lic, every­one is mad nice to you be­cause they think you are rich and can help them out. Every­one there thinks peo­ple in the US are all rich.
Do­mini­can girl #2: Yeah, but they don’t know we got poor peo­ple here, too.
Do­mini­can girl #1: Word, they think the whole coun­try’s rich, like Ire­land.

–Vanes­sa’s Dumplings, 14th St

Plus I Ate a Latke Once.

Do­mini­can #1: But I’m a Jew, man!
Do­mini­can #2: You’re a Jew?
Do­mini­can #1: Shit yeah.
Do­mini­can #2: Man, I did­n’t know there was any Jew­ish Do­mini­cans.
Do­mini­can #1: Not that kind of Jew. You ever met a Do­mini­can Jew? Do­mini­cans aren’t Jews! I just feel Jew­ish, man. My whole life I’ve been feel­in’ Jew­ish like that. You know, like if there’s a pen­ny on the street I pick it up!

–168th St Sub­way