Archive for the ‘Drag queens’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Lo­cate Car­men Sandiego

Guy on cell: I’m walk­ing to my room from break­fast. Then I’m go­ing to take a dump. Then I’m go­ing down­stairs.

–Hall­way, Mar­riott Court­yard Ho­tel

Barista walk­ing in, to no one in par­tic­u­lar: Un­for­tu­nate­ly, I’m here.

–Star­bucks, Brighton Beach

Over­heard by: Robert

Lost tourist: We are stuck here in the mid­dle of Times Square!

–Rock­e­feller Cen­ter

NYU girl on phone: Hel­lo? No. No, I can’t meet you. Be­cause I’m lost. I’m lost in the West Vil­lage. You know how the streets there get weird? I have no idea where I am. I’ve been wan­der­ing around for hours and I don’t know if I’ll ever make it back, ever! No, don’t try to find me, I haven’t seen any street signs in ages. Okay, see you tomorrow…maybe not.

–Union Square

Loud black drag queen yelling in­to cell: Bitch, don’t play with me! I know where you at!
(pause) Where you at?

–34th St & 8th Ave

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers, Plus Puer­to Ri­co

Douchebag col­lege stu­dent to girl: The cop looked at my ID and said “Come on, Mr Cal­i­for­nia!” and I was like: “Mr Cal­i­for­nia? Come on! I’ve been here for like four months!”

–G Train

Over­heard by: Guy who puts 4 months to shame

Jer­sey girl: I don’t do Arkansas.

–Tram to Roo­sevelt Is­land

Eight-year-old to un­cle: Please don’t move to Con­necti­cut… It’s too hard to spell!

–38th & 2nd Ave

Ag­ing queen to record store clerk: Oivia New­ton-John’s fine and all, but she’s like 55 and liv­ing in Con­necti­cut, so she lost her edge.

–Rebel Rebel Records: Bleeck­er and Christo­pher st.

Suit on cell: Do they make you ster­ile? Can you have sex? When you’re on the pills, can you have sex? You should go to Utah. They have great sex in Utah. The Mor­mons are fa­mous for it. I think we should have east­er din­ner at 4.30 at Fekkai’s.

–43rd St be­tween Madi­son & 5th

Black man, pulling up his pants while be­ing chased out of the li­brary by two His­pan­ic se­cu­ri­ty guards: I’m sick of dem His­pan­ics, man! I’m sick of ’em! I love Cal­i­for­nia.

–New York Pub­lic Li­brary, 42nd St branch

Over­heard by: Ja­son