20-something guy on BlackBerry: No, he’s not gay. I was in a fivesome with him, but he’s not gay.
Girl to gay friend after walking into gay bar: Dude, either find me a straight boy or two Asians that will let me watch.
Girl to guy friends: I mean, he’s okay he had the threesome – the guy was his best friend!
–8th St & 5th Ave
Angry woman on phone: While you’re out having orgies I am doing the real work!
Pretentious professor type in academic tone: My ex had unrealistic fantasies. She used to dream about being fucked by God and Satan and the same time. How could I live up to that?