Archive for the ‘Druggies’ Category

Hap­py Birth­day, Mithras!

Red State Girl: Is that a ham­mer in your bag?
Deal­er: Yeah. It’s a metaphor. ‘Cause Je­sus was a car­pen­ter, see. And I walk with Je­sus.
Red State Girl: Oh.

–29th Street & 7th Ave.

Over­heard by: M. Mar­tin

News­Flash: Crack­head Slain on 2 Train! Film at Eleven.

Crack­head to white girl: I want a lit­tle white girl. Okay, a lit­tle white lily, she so mad, I want a lit­tle white girl, not a black girl, they broke my heart too many times. You think I’m ha­rass­ing you be­cause you’re white and I’m black.
Girl on train: I’m not white, okay? I’m not white, stop look­ing at me. I don’t look re­mote­ly white, or Cau­casian.
Crack­head: I’m not in­to fat girls, so I’ll look some­where else. I’m not in­to fat jokes, just black jokes. You prob­a­bly think I’m in­to white guys, not white girls, just call me gay. Are you try­ing to slip away?
Girl on train: Did he just call me fat?

–Down­town 2 Train

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Choo-Choo-Choose You

Con­duc­tor: At­ten­tion down­town pas­sen­gers. The train that just left the sta­tion was ob­vi­ous­ly not your train.

–6 Train

Woman on cell: Hey, it’s the MTA who should be spanked!

–Rec­tor St.

Over­heard by: La­dle

Small girl to mom: I like this train sta­tion the best be­cause it has an el­e­va­tor, and you can see the whole world out­side. The whole wide beau­ti­ful world.

–Harlem Es­ca­la­tor, 1 Train

Over­heard by: Mark Brinker

Guy: I get all my in­for­ma­tion from sub­way ads.

–F Train

Over­heard by: Thom Co­hen

Woman, hear­ing gar­bled an­nounce­ment that E train is run­ning as an F: No! They are takin’ all my E trains!

–E Train

Over­heard by: I can has E train?

Crack­head: Make sure to take your news­pa­pers with you on the way out of the train. I’m hav­ing com­pa­ny over lat­er and I want it to look nice.

–Franklin Av­enue Shut­tle

Over­heard by: shut­tle rid­er