Guy: So, Rob slept with that trailer trash chick last night.
Girl: Holy shit! Which one?
Guy: The meth-head-looking one. You don’t think she looks like total trailer trash?
Girl: Oh my god, she had trailer trash oozing out of her fucking pores!
Guy: So why were you talking to her half the night?
Girl: Whatever. She was really nice.
–Terrace table, Blue Water Grill, Union Square
Overheard by: ebizzle
Guy #1: Last summer I was hangin’ out in Richmond for a weekend and me and some other people were havin’ a party and someone gave me and this girl a pill and told us it was painkillers.
Guy #2: Oh yeah? Sounds like…fun.
Guy #1: Well the next day, after we had had sex in a pool in front of like 30 people for about 10 hours, the girl who told us it was painkillers told us it was actually Cialis.
–CVS, 23rd & 1st
Overheard by: katie facada
Vendor: Crackerjacks! Crackerjacks!
Very drunk woman: Crackerjacks?! What about LSD??
–Keyspan Park, Coney Island
Overheard by: Jamie
Girl on cell: It just… It's not like it sucks. (pause) It just sucks, ya know? I mean, I had my period this morning, and I just wanna get high.
–Borough of Manhattan Community College
Overheard by: 447ght
Customer, buying two packs of Kotex: Next time you order these, you should get the kind with deodorant. It really makes a difference!
–112th St & St. Nicholas
Guy on cell: Dude! Guys don't PMS!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: allie
Girl #1: I once made a Nativity from feminine products. (awkward silence) They weren't used, though…
–Barnard
Overheard by: Brooklyn
Suit in sunglasses: This entire platform smells like a hitherto unknown species of ass.
–D train platform, 34th St
Aging hipster on cell: At worst, you emit a general smell. If people notice it, I don’t think they associate it with you.
–Worth St & W Broadway
Loud woman: Yo, where you at? I can smell your breath, but I can’t see your face!
–Shoe store
Drunk chick in room of females: It smells like penis in here.
–Pi2 Lounge, W 12th & Surf Ave
Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova
Teen on cell: Dude, they kicked me off campus! Because they said I smelled like I was high. I mean, I am a little high, but I don’t smell like it!
–Stuyvesant High
Fat man: Why didn’t anyone call Patty* and tell her that her breath stinks?
–Victory Hospital
Overheard by: Suquaia
Guy, smelling girl’s armpit: Man, that’s brutal! But I kinda like it…
–NYU
Guy #1: She’s so frazzled. You know she has ADD, right?
Guy #2: Who doesn’t?
Guy #1: Well, she’s on meds.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she takes the stuff I took when I was, like, 5.
–Sharaku, Stuyvesant Street
Overheard by: girlhattan
Preppy girl: I wonder why celebrities do so many drugs.
Queen: Honey, you can only buy so much couture.
–F Train
Girl #1: Fergus's apartment is down there. Have you ever seen it?
Girl #2: I have. Actually, I did ecstasy in that apartment once. Wait, you were there! We ate ostrich. You rolled around on the carpet.
–Lexington & 51st St
Mother: How’s your pizza?
Little boy: Okay. It tasted better when I was high.
–Giorgio’s Pizza
Overheard by: ramona
Girl #1: What’s a pipe dream?
Girl #2: …It’s like a farfetched dream.
Girl #1: Yeah, I always thought it was, like, an idea someone got when they were high and they thought it was a good idea at the time because…you know, they were stoned.
Girl #2: You’re retarded.
–N train