Girl #1: Oh my gosh! I haven’t seen you in so long! You didn’t come to my party!
Girl #2: I know! I was high!
–St. Mark’s
Overheard by: Aearrin
Archive for the ‘Drugs’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Leave Track Marks
Former Broadway ingenue: He injects silicone into his penis and testicles. He has for years.
–A‑list Broadway party
Overheard by: kgrahams
Wannabe policy maker: They should have umbrella exchange centers. You know, like needle exchanges.
–Washington Square South
Overheard by: Lacey
Dad: You want to get arrested? Brian, put those syringes down. If you want to get high, go outside and find some mothafucka on the street.
–Emergency room, Beth Israel
Overheard by: Coughing in the Ghetto Israel
Ditz: I love hepatitis shots!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Salmon Slap
Hipster chick on cell: Yeah, you should probably get a rabies shot for that… And a pap smear.
–Washington Square Park
But That Priest Just Looked Confused When I Put It in the Collection Plate
Rich girl #1: I feel like I haven’t done anything today. I just woke up and got high.
Rich girl #2: No, you donated a tampon. That’s like, totally a tax write-off!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Dianne
We’re Losing the War on Wednesday One-Liners
Blonde on cell: It’s not a methadone program! You’re on methadone the whole time while you’re in there, but it’s not a methadone program!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: PNY
Frat boy: It’s liquid cocaine, and it’s going to be legal for at least another year!
–Lion’s Head Bar, 108th & Amsterdam
Dude: You just spray it and then snort it…
–33 W 19th Street
Overheard by: Uh, I never did it like that..
Man on cell: Man, you’re always high! Remember that construction job? No, of course you don’t — ’cause you were high!
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Isaiah Tanenbaum
Lead singer: I sweat coke at Bikram Yoga.
–Crash Mansion
Queer on cell: And the one thing I should’ve been buying myself — drugs — he was buying for me.
–23rd & 7th
Overheard by: MR
Attorney on phone: She may smoke pot, but she’s absolutely responsible!
–Midtown East
Overheard by: Opie
I Recommend the Codeine & Chive Lite Spread
Employee: What kind of bagel did you want?
Guy: Poppyseed.
Employee: Oh, we don’t have poppyseed. We have plain, everything, and cinnamon raisin.
Guy: Everything. I just need the opiates.
–alt.coffee, 9th & A
Overheard by: Alex Romanovich
Wednesday One-liners
Black guy: Man, Asia and Africa is totally disinterconnected!
–E train
Guy on cell: She has no idea I’ve been on steroids all week!
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: Bria Dunham
Pay No Attention to the Deity behind the Curtain
Guy #1: Dude, let’s go see Fiddler on the Roof. I heard it’s sick.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s the sequel to The Wizard of Oz, right? With the witch of the East… Right?
Guy #1: Let’s go get high.
Guy #2: Okay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Darius Izad
High Enough to Be Hallucinating a Whole Movie Based Around ABBA Tunes
Tween Latino #1: Uh…why did we pay to see this again?
Tween Latino #2: Probably because we’re high.
Tween Latino #3: Oh. Good point.
–Mamma Mia Screening, Ziegfeld Theater
Overheard by: that’s what roger ebert said
Warning on the Back of a Slim-Fast Can
Guy #1: You look good though, lose a little weight?
Guy #2: I know, it’s great. I can’t say I’m crazy about the constant nosebleeds and cravings at all hours of the day, but it’s worth it anyway, my appetite’s gone.
Guy #1: What?
–Q train
Wednesday One-Liners’ Next Stop Is Meth
Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I’m going straight to the bridge, and I ain’t stopping for no crack!
–Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St.
Overheard by: Dana
Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack…
–10th St & Ave A
Man to another as he walks away: Don’t spend it all in one crackhouse.
–SoHo
Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don’t walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday!
–Broadway & 96th St
