Rich girl #1: I feel like I haven’t done anything today. I just woke up and got high.
Rich girl #2: No, you donated a tampon. That’s like, totally a tax write-off!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Dianne
Archive for the ‘Drugs’ Category
We’re Losing the War on Wednesday One-Liners
Blonde on cell: It’s not a methadone program! You’re on methadone the whole time while you’re in there, but it’s not a methadone program!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: PNY
Frat boy: It’s liquid cocaine, and it’s going to be legal for at least another year!
–Lion’s Head Bar, 108th & Amsterdam
Dude: You just spray it and then snort it…
–33 W 19th Street
Overheard by: Uh, I never did it like that..
Man on cell: Man, you’re always high! Remember that construction job? No, of course you don’t — ’cause you were high!
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Isaiah Tanenbaum
Lead singer: I sweat coke at Bikram Yoga.
–Crash Mansion
Queer on cell: And the one thing I should’ve been buying myself — drugs — he was buying for me.
–23rd & 7th
Overheard by: MR
Attorney on phone: She may smoke pot, but she’s absolutely responsible!
–Midtown East
Overheard by: Opie
I Recommend the Codeine & Chive Lite Spread
Employee: What kind of bagel did you want?
Guy: Poppyseed.
Employee: Oh, we don’t have poppyseed. We have plain, everything, and cinnamon raisin.
Guy: Everything. I just need the opiates.
–alt.coffee, 9th & A
Overheard by: Alex Romanovich
Wednesday One-liners
Black guy: Man, Asia and Africa is totally disinterconnected!
–E train
Guy on cell: She has no idea I’ve been on steroids all week!
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: Bria Dunham
Pay No Attention to the Deity behind the Curtain
Guy #1: Dude, let’s go see Fiddler on the Roof. I heard it’s sick.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s the sequel to The Wizard of Oz, right? With the witch of the East… Right?
Guy #1: Let’s go get high.
Guy #2: Okay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Darius Izad
High Enough to Be Hallucinating a Whole Movie Based Around ABBA Tunes
Tween Latino #1: Uh…why did we pay to see this again?
Tween Latino #2: Probably because we’re high.
Tween Latino #3: Oh. Good point.
–Mamma Mia Screening, Ziegfeld Theater
Overheard by: that’s what roger ebert said
Warning on the Back of a Slim-Fast Can
Guy #1: You look good though, lose a little weight?
Guy #2: I know, it’s great. I can’t say I’m crazy about the constant nosebleeds and cravings at all hours of the day, but it’s worth it anyway, my appetite’s gone.
Guy #1: What?
–Q train
Wednesday One-Liners’ Next Stop Is Meth
Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I’m going straight to the bridge, and I ain’t stopping for no crack!
–Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St.
Overheard by: Dana
Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack…
–10th St & Ave A
Man to another as he walks away: Don’t spend it all in one crackhouse.
–SoHo
Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don’t walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday!
–Broadway & 96th St
That Was Actually His Campaign Slogan
Anthony Weiner and what appears to be 3 of his staff get out of a black Chevy Impala with tints and a spoiler.
Stoned kid #1: Dude it’s Anthony Weiner.
Stoned kid #2: Who?
Stoned kid #1: Anthony Weiner…the Congressman. He lives right there.
Stoned kid #2 looks back
Stoned kid #2: Hey Weiner! You’re a Weiner!
–Ascan Ave & Burns St, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Peter Sipsas
And Willing to Share Her Meth
Guy: So, Rob slept with that trailer trash chick last night.
Girl: Holy shit! Which one?
Guy: The meth-head-looking one. You don’t think she looks like total trailer trash?
Girl: Oh my god, she had trailer trash oozing out of her fucking pores!
Guy: So why were you talking to her half the night?
Girl: Whatever. She was really nice.
–Terrace table, Blue Water Grill, Union Square
Overheard by: ebizzle
