Guy #1: So, I’m thinking about getting circumcised.
Guy #2: Oh, okay then.
–Elevator, 181st St
Overheard by: LSB
Archive for the ‘Elevators’ Category
Your Elevator Will Be Separate, but Equal
Chick (walking in elevator and looking at others): Sorry for staring, but you all have blue eyes.
Blue-eyed woman: Yeah, we’re all related.
Chick: Really?
Blue-eyed woman: Uh, no.
Blue-eyed man: But don’t worry, we’ll be nice to you when we take over.
–Elevator, Roosevelt Hospital
You Also Thought That About Abraham Lincoln
Dumb chick #1: What are those Jewish people with the curls called?
Dumb chick #2: I think they’re called “aesthetic Jews.” Or “hestetic Jews.“
Dumb chick #1: Oh. I though they were Amish.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Overheard by: I know what they’re called
“Mommy, where do morons come from?”
Guy #1: What are you trying to do?
Guy #2: Have your babies.
Guy #1: Mad babies?
Guy #2: Mabies.
–Rubin Hall elevator, 5th Avenue
Overheard by: danie
Suffers from Menthol Deficiency
Woman #1: Oooh, I really like the smell of whatever you’re eating or wearing. What is that?
Woman #2: A cough drop.
Woman #1: What kind?
Woman #2: Hall’s.
Woman #1: Oooh, that’s really nice.
–Elevator, McCann Erickson office
Yup. I Could Tell from That Nauseated Look on Your Face.
Woman #1 in elevator: Why aren’t you wearing a jacket? You’re going to be freezing!
Woman #2: I don’t need one. It’s because I’m fat.
Woman #1: (silence)
Woman #2: You know it’s true. You’re not saying anything because you know I’m fat. Most people would say, “No, no, no. You’re not fat!” but you’re not saying that because you think I’m fat. Think about it.
Woman #1: I’m thinking about it.
–39th St
…in Bed
Girl #1: You know Alex?
Girl #2: Yeah, he loves me, but not in a sexual way. He just thinks I’m awesome.
–Dorm Elevator, Columbia University
Overheard by: Chopin’s Edna
The Naked Singing Telegram Rethinks Her Business Model
Chick #1: How’d it go?
Chick #2: Good. I sang the three notes good and he looked up from his computer and smiled.
Chick #1: Hmmm, good.
Chick #2: Or he could have been looking at these…
Chick #1: Oh yeah, he was checking out your boobs!
–Elevator, W 26 St between 6th Ave & 7th Ave
Overheard by: mondo man
Well, Yeah — In Case It’s Not Apple Cider
Student #1: Holy shit. That girl just dropped apple cider and a carving knife out of her suitcase.
Student #2: Right, but you’re also barefoot and wearing a scuba mask.
–Elevator, Hayden Residence Hall
Overheard by: Will be using the elevators less frequently
Wednesday Accidentally Leaves a Sponge in the One-Liner
Woman: I told him I wasn’t opposed to dinner just because he’s had a vasectomy.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meister
Preppy guy: They took cartilage out of his ear and put it in my nose.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ladle
UES woman: I’m going to get my nails done, then get a colonoscopy in Queens.
–89th and Park
Overheard by: AeC and jRw
Woman on phone: Well, of course I got it removed
*(pause)
Woman: It hurt like hell.
–Elevator in the Hudson Hotel
Guy on phone, Nnoz done: Hts okay — it’s just routine anal surgery!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Tam
