Suit: My dick was totally in one hand pissing while I was talking to the client.
–48th & Madison
Archive for the ‘Elevators’ Category
Emergency Rooms Are That Quick?
Guy: So I bought the shady chicken…
Girl: The street meat?
Guy: Yeah. You only have to wait on line for, like, two seconds.
–Elevator, State Street Plaza
Ten Bucks Says He Asks Her Out Before They Get to Their Floor
Ugly guy: Yeah, we broke up because it just didn’t work out between us. We had too many differences.
Pretty girl: I’m sorry to hear that. How long has it been?
Ugly guy: Years, so I’m over it. Well, we were swingers so it got complicated. Well, — I was a swinger. She wasn’t.
Pretty girl: Ummm… (stares at wall) Great elevator conversation!
–Elevator, Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway
…In the 1800s
Girl: Oh my god, I just found out that my high school drama teacher has been sleeping with the kid who’s the star in all of the shows.
Boy: Shit!
Girl: Yeah, I heard they’re both in jail now or something.
Boy: That’s like the time that family in my town had those slaves.
–Crowded Elevator, NYU
Overheard by: confused
Wednesday One-liners Lunch Hour
Teen boy: Yo, I got the munchies, B…Yo, what happened to the guys with candy and shit? Shit was mad convenient.
–1 train
Overheard by: I. J. Meyers
I Wonder What He Thought He Meant
Guy #1: So, I’m thinking about getting circumcised.
Guy #2: Oh, okay then.
–Elevator, 181st St
Overheard by: LSB
Your Elevator Will Be Separate, but Equal
Chick (walking in elevator and looking at others): Sorry for staring, but you all have blue eyes.
Blue-eyed woman: Yeah, we’re all related.
Chick: Really?
Blue-eyed woman: Uh, no.
Blue-eyed man: But don’t worry, we’ll be nice to you when we take over.
–Elevator, Roosevelt Hospital
You Also Thought That About Abraham Lincoln
Dumb chick #1: What are those Jewish people with the curls called?
Dumb chick #2: I think they’re called “aesthetic Jews.” Or “hestetic Jews.“
Dumb chick #1: Oh. I though they were Amish.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Overheard by: I know what they’re called
“Mommy, where do morons come from?”
Guy #1: What are you trying to do?
Guy #2: Have your babies.
Guy #1: Mad babies?
Guy #2: Mabies.
–Rubin Hall elevator, 5th Avenue
Overheard by: danie
Suffers from Menthol Deficiency
Woman #1: Oooh, I really like the smell of whatever you’re eating or wearing. What is that?
Woman #2: A cough drop.
Woman #1: What kind?
Woman #2: Hall’s.
Woman #1: Oooh, that’s really nice.
–Elevator, McCann Erickson office
