Archive for the ‘Empire State Building’ Category

The Un­bear­able Light­ness Of Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Rasta­far­i­an man to white bas­ket­ball fe­male play­er with dreads: Hey! Why you white peo­ple al­ways try­ing to look like me!

–Union Square

Black guy sell­ing Em­pire State Build­ing tick­ets: You’re from Scot­land? I love the Scots… They’re pu­u­u­u­u­u­ur­rreee white!

–Out­side Em­pire State Build­ing

Black woman to an­oth­er, about frat guys near­by: Man, white peo­ple are so loud.

–109th & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Becks

Black hobo to white teen: Get out of this neigh­bor­hood with your white crotch! You don’t be­long here!

–Up­per West Side

Black woman to cops walk­ing away: But I’m a Cau­casian!

–Bed-Stuy

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have Lost Their Group

Teenage boy tourist: Times Square is by far the coolest part of New York. It’s al­most like heav­en!

–Times Square

A tourist is cran­ing his neck to pho­to­graph the Em­pire State Build­ing.

New York­er: What is he look­ing at?! … Oh.

–34th & 5th

Tourist: There is­n’t any­where with­in walk­ing dis­tance.

–53rd & Lex

Over­heard by: Not a Clue­less Tourist

Hobo, af­ter steal­ing some­one’s lug­gage: Tourists need to be more care­ful when they come to New York City.

–6th Ave & 23rd St

Over­heard by: BOB Sled

Tourist drop­ping mon­ey in front of frozen fe­male mime he’s been star­ing at for five min­utes: That was tru­ly in­cred­i­ble. Thank you so much.

–Out­side Mo­MA

Tourist: I guess we should go to the Ground Ze­roes.

–5th Ave & 13th St

Over­heard by: Sal­ly Toma­to

Thug: Just push them out of the way. They’re tourists, they’ll love it.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: duff­duff

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers’ Home­towns Were Glad to See Them Go

Brit la­dy, to MTA booth la­dy: Two adults, please. We’ll be get­ting off around 58th Street.

–14th St F sta­tion

Over­heard by: Fid­get

Tourist: Ex­cuse me, does the F train stop here?

–Sub­way sand­wich­es, Hous­ton & Lafayette

Tourist woman, loud­ly: Jeany? How many stops are we go­ing on this train?

–Times Square shut­tle

Over­heard by: nev­er­mind

Tourist: Ex­cuse me, which way is it to Up­per Town?

–Broad­way & Worth

Over­heard by: dukes

Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast?

–Ground Ze­ro

Tourist: My plane does­n’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty from here?

–La Guardia Air­port

Over­heard by: Jose Her­nan­dez

Tourist, lead­ing a group of more than a dozen fel­low tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Sea­port!

–Union Square

Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Em­pire State Build­ing?

–Top of Em­pire State Build­ing

Over­heard by: eng­lish­man in new york

Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a pic­ture?

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry

Over­heard by: Steven Low­ell

Wednes­days Make You Want to Have One-Lin­ers of Your Own

Lit­tle white boy to frus­trat­ed black nan­ny who is try­ing to hail a cab: My dad­dy al­ways gets a taxi!

–Hous­ton & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Dan

Lit­tle boy: This place is like a dead zoo.

–Amer­i­can Mu­se­um of Nat­ur­al His­to­ry

Four-year-old boy: Yo, this so­fa is mad com­fy!

–Used Fur­ni­ture Store, Stat­en Is­land

Four-year-old boy: That’s enough, I’m call­ing In­ter­pol!

–A Train

Over­heard by: Swar­les

Lit­tle girl to mom af­ter ter­ri­ble Skyride at­trac­tion: Mom­my, can we nev­er do this again?
(ran­dom guy be­hind her starts laugh­ing) Stop it! Stop laugh­ing at me!

–Em­pire State Build­ing

Over­heard by: Claire

Eight-year-old boy: This mu­se­um is in­ap­pro­pri­ate.

–The Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um of Art, Greek & Ro­man Sculp­ture Wing

Over­heard by: Tay­lor