Archive for the ‘Ethnic Food’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Use the So­crat­ic Method

Co­lum­bia grad stu­dent: …de­vel­op­ing a re­al­ly spec­tac­u­lar
sense of in­tel­lec­tu­al ar­ro­gance.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Pro­fes­sor, re­ceiv­ing text mes­sage in class: Ooh. That’s in­ter­est­ing. In­vi­ta­tion to go danc­ing, not from my girl­friend. Thank God I’ve got per­mis­sion… We’re nev­er go­ing to get to any­thing to­day, are we? I’m so bad at this…

–Tisch School of the Arts, NYU

Over­heard by: Matthew K John­son

Chi­nese pro­fes­sor: You see Chi­nese like to­fu, you nev­er use it.

–John Jay Col­lege

Over­heard by: soccerking3t

Teen guy: So I end­ed up in a dress. I don’t think Eng­lish class will ever be the same.

–Stuyvesant High School

Over­heard by: Natasha

Sadis­tic pro­fes­sor: Un­for­tu­nate­ly we don’t flog peo­ple any­more. You usu­al­ly pass out af­ter you fin­ish scream­ing.

–Ford­ham, the Bronx

Over­heard by: Jess Mc­Gins

Drunk­en pre-med to drunk­en boy tee­ter­ing on a con­crete rail­ing: Reed, if you fall, I’m not a doc­tor yet!

–West Vil­lage, 8th & 14th

Over­heard by: an­nie

NYU girl to pro­fes­sor: So, if you’re sleep­ing with Ni­et­zsche, you should­n’t ask the ques­tion, “What are you think­ing?”

–NYU class­room, Mer­cer & Hous­ton

Those Jews and Their Wednes­day One-lin­ers

Asian guy: Are there re­al­ly this many Is­raelis in New York?

–61st & 5th

Over­heard by: Adam Sh­print­zen

Tourist girl: What’s a knish? I don’t know about these fla­vors. Can I get a plain one?

–Yon­ah Schim­mel’s Knish­ery, Hous­ton Street

White girl: There’s re­al­ly no dif­fer­ence be­tween gay guys and Jew­ish guys…Just the hat and a lit­tle ass-fuck­ing, but oth­er than that they’re pret­ty much the same.

–184th & Ben­nett

Girl: I don’t know if it’s an ego thing or what, but Jews re­al­ly turn me on!

–French Roast Cafe, West 11th Street

Over­heard by: Dot­tie Mc­Far­land