Girl yelling across the street: Yo, she got more hair on her pussy than your bitch got on her head!
–St. John’s, Crown Heights
Woman on cell. One hundred dollars? You must have me confused with 1–800-Crack Whore.
–W 57th
Archive for the ‘Etiquette’ Category
As Close to a Sweet Vignette As OINY Gets
(man with headphones singing out loud moves over so that an elderly couple can sit down together)
Old lady: Thank you.
Man: You are very, very welcome. I’m rappin’ out loud, but I’m a gentleman. I was raised in the streets, but I’m good.
–1 Train
Overheard by: huh?
Then You’ll Love It When They Grab Your Purses and Run
Three people get up to let a group of old ladies sit.
Old lady #1: Don’t you hate when they do that?
Old lady #2: [nods in agreement]
–Uptown E train
Overheard by: did not get up
No — Much Nicer Than That!
Drunk girl: My sister is coming! You have to be nice to her!
Guy: Yeah, sure… Who are you, again?
–Attorney & Houston
Overheard by: tj
There’s Reality, and Then There’s What I’ll Admit to
Park slope kid : Mommy, mommy, mommy! Can you fart?
Park slope mom, hesitant: That’s not something to say on a train, sweetie. And no.
(little girls starts to throw a fit)
Park slope kid: Why not?!
–F Train
Dude, She’s British– She Wouldn’t Even Be Grateful
Guy #1: I’d totally have a threesome with Judi Dench.
Guy #2: Uhh, this conversation is getting uncomfortable.
Guy #1: C’mon, dude, dame Judi Dench is the bomb!
–Chelsea
Well, Alexander Hamilton Is My Idol
Storeworker: Can’t you at least pick up what you dropped?
Customer: I can’t bend. I have a bad back.
Storeworker: Why don’t you pretend it’s a ten dollar bill? Bet you’d dive pretty quick for that, wouldn’t you?
–Marshall’s, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
At Least Charge for It, Sweetie.
Mother: Don’t sit like that! You don’t want people see your you-know-what parts!
Four-year-old daughter sitting Indian-style: But I wanna!
–13th & 8th, Park Slope
Overheard by: person
That Night He Set the Poodle on Fire
Little boy picking up candy bar: Mommy, can I buy some junk?
Mom: Um, no, sweetie.
Little boy, creepily sincere: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. Very sorry, Mommy.
–IPN Pharmacy, Tribeca
But I Did Finish All My Homework
Dad: Did you fart today?
Son: No.
–Cafe, 49th & 9th
Overheard by: alxie
