Archive for the ‘Fag Hags’ Category

He Asked Me to Leave This Backpack Here and Not Open It

Queer: So, I went to that new dance club last night.
Fag hag: Oh, really? Any good?
Queer: Yeah… They were playing some weird disco music, which should’ve tipped me off. But anyway, this guy started hitting on me right away.
Fag hag: Oooh! Was he hot?
Queer: Sorta. I mean, he had this gigantic moustache.
Fag hag: Hmmm. He musta been a terrorist.
Queer: Actually, he did have that terror-esque gleam in his eye.
Fag hag: So, did you hook up or what?
Queer: Oh, yeah, totally fucked him in the bathroom. That terror-esque gleam is damn sexy.

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: MiMi

Choose Your Own Dating Adventure

Hag: I see her point, I think that’s why I don’t have a boyfriend either. I’m just too high maintenence.
Queer: Ha! Girl, you are not high maintenance, you are just plain old needy.

–17th & 5th

Overheard by: Thirsty Violet

Woman: You are not needy, you are so worth it!

–Elephant and Castle, Greenwich Avenue

Overheard by: wecantdraw

M4M Wednesday One-Liners

Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay!

–Astor Place

Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right?

–9th St, Park Slope

Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys?


Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair.

–Peculier Pub, Bleecker St

Overheard by: Mad

Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play.


Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay!

–Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach

Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl

Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick!

–5th Ave, Park Slope