Preppy gay guy: I thought she already had cancer?
Preppy fag hag, dawning realization: You’re right! She did… definitely.
–Bleecker & Grove
Overheard by: jams
Archive for the ‘Fag Hags’ Category
And Deriving Really Lame Metaphors
Fag: Women have life so easy.
Hag: I know, life is like served on a plate to women but they’re on a diet so then they pick out all the good stuff and push the plate to the side.
Fag: Too bad the diet doesn’t do anything, cause they’re still fat and complaining.
–Wendy’s, 57th St
He Asked Me to Leave This Backpack Here and Not Open It
Queer: So, I went to that new dance club last night.
Fag hag: Oh, really? Any good?
Queer: Yeah… They were playing some weird disco music, which should’ve tipped me off. But anyway, this guy started hitting on me right away.
Fag hag: Oooh! Was he hot?
Queer: Sorta. I mean, he had this gigantic moustache.
Fag hag: Hmmm. He musta been a terrorist.
Queer: Actually, he did have that terror-esque gleam in his eye.
Fag hag: So, did you hook up or what?
Queer: Oh, yeah, totally fucked him in the bathroom. That terror-esque gleam is damn sexy.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: MiMi
Bottom Line: I Got the Job
Fag hag: So, how was it?
Urban queer: Girl, it was a week ago and I’m still washing the taste of his dick outta my mouth!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Matthew
Choose Your Own Dating Adventure
Hag: I see her point, I think that’s why I don’t have a boyfriend either. I’m just too high maintenence.
Queer: Ha! Girl, you are not high maintenance, you are just plain old needy.
–17th & 5th
Overheard by: Thirsty Violet
Woman: You are not needy, you are so worth it!
–Elephant and Castle, Greenwich Avenue
Overheard by: wecantdraw
Dear Bonnie, I Just Had to Write
Queer: Yeah, and then she started getting letters telling her how ugly she was…
Fruit flies: Oooh!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Must have been pretty f’ing ugly
He’s the Duchess of Suffolk County
Fag hag scanning seats during intermission: Oooh, look at that queen up there!
Queer: Girl, that’s no queen! He’s from Long Island.
–High Fidelity show
Worse and Worser
Frumpy fag hag: Oh my god, I hate swass.
Fat queer: Swamp ass? Oh my god, I know. I’m totally not wearing underwear right now.
–60th & Columbus
Overheard by: Ali
It Makes You Look Fat
Gay guy: Oh fuck, motherfucker!
Female friend: Why must you be so white?
–Bleecker & 7th Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
M4M Wednesday One-Liners
Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay!
–Astor Place
Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right?
–9th St, Park Slope
Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys?
–NYU
Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair.
–Peculier Pub, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Mad
Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play.
–Broadway
Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay!
–Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl
Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick!
–5th Ave, Park Slope
