Archive for the ‘Families’ Category

CIA: Hm­mm…

Grand­son: I wan­na watch that show Chuck — about the spy.
Grand­ma: Cluck? It’s called ‘Cluck’?
Grand­son: Chuck. He’s a spy.
Grand­ma: Cluck? Like a chick­en?
Grand­son: Grand­ma, you’re stu­pid.
Grand­ma: I just don’t think a chick­en would make a good spy. He’d al­ways be cluck­ing.
Grand­son: He’s not a chick­en, he’s a spy.
Grand­ma: But then again, no one ex­pects a chick­en… Damn chick­ens…

–L train

Sit Your Ass Down, You Over­com­pli­ant Child

Moth­er to son, at se­mi-crowd­ed sub­way: Where’s Al­liyah?
Son: I don’t know, some­where over there.
Moth­er: Al­liyah!
(Al­liyah walks over)
Moth­er: Where were you?
Al­liyah: Over there.
Moth­er: Sit­ting down?
Al­liyah: Yeah.
Moth­er: Then why’d you get up?
Al­liyah: (shakes head and rolls eyes)

–F Train

Over­heard by: Re­spect is rel­a­tive

It’s the Of­fi­cial Restau­rant of Hell

Lit­tle boy: Do kids go to jail?
Mom: No, kids don’t go to jail.
Lit­tle boy: What if they kill some­one?
Mom: Well, when kids are re­al bad, some­times they go to ju­ve­nile, which is a sad place where they don’t let you do things you want.
Lit­tle boy: And they don’t feed you!!
Mom: Well, no, the kids there get fed. But maybe the food is­n’t very good.
Lit­tle boy, to him­self: They feed you Mc­Don­ald’s. Be­cause Mc­Don­ald’s is bad for you.

–Down­town 1 train, 50th St

Over­heard by: rid­ing the train