Archive for the ‘Fashion’ Category

I Thought the Devil Wore Prada

Bag man: Nice toes.
Guy: Um…thanks?
Bag man: Well, you know, so many people be wearin’ these things and they got some nasty boar feet, but you got some nice toes there. Good for you.

–Barney’s Warehouse Sale, W. 17th Street

Overheard by: A. Hender

The Pogo Stick Made an Honest Woman Out of Her

Teen girl #1: I got a doctor’s appointment after school today. My mom saw this hickey and she’s taking me for a pregnancy test.
Teen boy: Yo, Mexican mom’s is crazy.
Teen girl #2: That sucks. If my mom ever tries to take me, I’m telling her it’s a civil rights violation.
Teen girl #1: I already got my excuse. I’m gonna say it busted when I was riding my bike.
Teen boy: No, that’s no good. Say you was jumpin’ up and down.

–7 train

Along with Blue Balls and Shame

NYU brat #1: So, did you guys end up hooking up, or what?
NYU brat #2: Yeah, we dry-humped for, like, an hour.
NYU brat #1: Dry-humped?! What are we, back in, like, eighth grade?
NYU brat #2: What, you haven’t heard? Dry-humping is sooo back in.

–NYU

Overheard by: CK

Wednesday One-Liners Ain't Got the Money, Honey

Older man, to no one in particular: That's why I keep my income low, so no one jumps me.

–Myrtle & Clinton, Brooklyn

Woman with scratch-off lotto card to friend: I won four dollars! I won four dollars! You know I can't spend that, though. I gotta get food for my kids. Those niggas be hungry!

–Staten Island Ferry

Angelic-looking teen girl screaming into cell: Are you coming to the movies with me? You're broke? Just mug someone on the way. Mug someone! (pause) Mug! M-u-g! Rhymes with "thug"!

–Chambers & West St

Puerto Rican dude on cell: I ain't got no money. I got weed, but I ain't got no money.

–25th St & 7th Ave

Village lady: She was in foreclosure before it was fashionable to be in foreclosure.

–Bleecker & Mercer

Wednesday One-Liners Have a Freak Flag, and They’re Gonna Fly It

Carnie: Come play Shoot the Freak! What d’ya come to Coney Island for, to swim in dirty water?

–Boardwalk, Coney Island

Overheard by: Jena

Guy: Shut up and never call me again, you freak.

–56th & 13th, Brooklyn

Overheard by: bobby

Peddler: Coney Island Freak Show t-shirts! It’s the new Gucci!

–Siren Music Fest, Coney Island

Overheard by: Sinestro

Nike Does — They’re Called Knee Pads

Girl #1: I think I should get these high heel shoes ’cause Joe is really tall so I need to like, be able to reach him when I’m giving him head.
Girl #2: But…how would that help? You’re gonna be on your knees anyway.
Girl #1: Oh, that’s true. Hmm, do you think Steve makes something for that?

–Steve Madden, 83rd St.

Overheard by: Amanda Fox