Archive for the ‘Fashionistas’ Category

What Not to Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Hip­ster girl: Look, just be­cause you’re preg­nant does­n’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grad­er.

–Union Pool, Brook­lyn

Vain fag, look­ing at pants: I re­al­ly love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this sum­mer…


Guy wear­ing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d nev­er wear crocs. They’re ug­ly.

–For­est Hills Gar­dens, Queens

Over­heard by: Aloof Lon­er

Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on our­selves.


Dis­em­bod­ied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stom­ach and then it makes a lit­tle V‑neck pouch for your vagi­na. I hate that shit!

–Fit­ting Rooms, Gap in Her­ald Square

Over­heard by: Zarya

[Wait­ing in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawl­ing her eyes out: Sor­ry, I or­dered this jack­et, and it’s two sizes too big!


Over­heard by: Tra­cy

Su­per­poke! Wednes­day Has Thrown a One-Lin­er at You!

Frus­trat­ed styl­ist on com­put­er: How do you spell “Google”?

–Dra­mat­ics Hair Sa­lon

Hot Asian woman: She has­n’t even post­ed her face on Face­book!

–88th & 2nd

Over­heard by: Sam H.

Teen to friend: My mom still has­n’t Face­booked me back about tak­ing care of my dog.

–Bed­ford Ave

Over­heard by: kayt

Soror­i­ty girl: Like…oh my god. We should write about our­selves on Juicy Cam­pus and see what oth­er peo­ple say.

–Class­room, NYU

Over­heard by: An­gela

Mid­dle-aged jan­i­tor: You’ve got to try that in­ter­net! It has every­thing!


Over­heard by: Cristi­na

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are So Nou­veau Riche

Fe­male shop­per to Bloom­ing­dale’s cologne sprayer: Don’t you dare spray your $30 over my $150.

–Per­fume Aisle, Bloom­ing­dale’s

Old la­dy on cell: I mean, it’s just five mil­lion…

–Madi­son & 77th St

Very rich mom to new nan­ny, about ba­by in stroller: Okay, well, she loves sushi, and…

–Up­per East Side

Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuit­ton with me this week­end and she was like, “we’re in a re­ces­sion, let’s go to Dolce.”

–42nd St

Over­heard by: I want a m6

La­bel-whore eat­ing grapes and cheese, to friend: Oh my god, I feel so rich when I eat this stuff… Oh, wait, I am.

–Paul’s Cafe

How Many Weight Watch­ers Points Are in a Wednes­day One-Lin­er?

NYU JAP on phone to moth­er (en­raged): Ugh, mom! No! Wear­ing sea­son­al­ly in­ap­pro­pri­ate out­er­wear will not make me sweat and lose weight!

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Maeve

Woman in line with friend at Du­ane Reade, read­ing can of en­er­gy drink: Wait. There’s carbs in here? Like bread carbs? Carbs are bread, right? Cause when peo­ple go on, like, a low carb di­et, they don’t eat any bread, right? But I still don’t un­der­stand why there’s bread in here. What­ev­er. It does­n’t even taste like bread.

–Du­ane Reade

10-year-old kid to friend: So you’re a year old­er than me, but you’re 20 pounds lighter? That’s fucked up.

–Christo­pher St & Wa­ver­ly Place

Over­heard by: sharknife

Girl: You know how some peo­ple are so­cial drinkers? I’m a so­cial eater.


Over­heard by: nin­ja z

Asian fash­ion­ista: Yeah, I think I’m like a size 12 in boys.

–Conde Nast Build­ing

Over­heard by: jack­at­tack

Loud guy on cell: Ac­tu­al­ly, I can’t be bu­lim­ic any­more be­cause I have no gag re­flex. I’ve been suck­ing too much cock.

–34th & 7th Ave

Over­heard by: Alis