Girl: Who was she with?
Hairdresser: I’m not, like, racist or anything, but she came with two guys, one was Puerto Rican and one was black!
–Supercuts, 3rd and 32nd
Overheard by: Joe
Archive for the ‘Fashionistas’ Category
And the Wet Look Went Out in the 80’s
Ditz, talking about shoes: They used to be so white… It makes me sad.
Friend: Try soaking them in soapy water.
Ditz: But then they’d be all wet!
–Central Park
She’ll Accept Anybody’s Visa
Fashionista #1: Honestly, I think he would take whatever comes his way. He just wants to get laid.
Fashionista #2: And what? She’s easy?
Fashionista #1: You know those European girls. She has an open-pussy-policy.
–E 86th St
Annie is Spinning in Her Redheaded Grave
Fashion girl #1: Today should be Friday.
Fashion girl #2: Seriously. It feels like Friday.
Fashion girl #1: It would be fabulous if today was Friday.
Fashion girl #2: Fuck tomorrow.
–95th & 3rd
Overheard by: Sam J
You Should Take That As a Sign to Fuck Me
Fashionista queer: Excuse me, could I bum a cigarette?
Rocker queer: Sorry, I don’t smoke. But you should take that as a sign to quit! It’s bad for you!
Fashionista queer: Who cares, I’m skinny!
–Cafeteria, 17th & 7th
Overheard by: Nellee
Anal Sex: What Can’t It Fix?
Fashionista gets off elevator, bumping into guys on her way out.
Balding Greek guy: You know what she needs? A good dick up the ass, that’s what she needs!
Black guy: That’s what all them bitches need.
–1407 Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
A Wednesday for Breakfast, a One-Liner for Lunch, and a Sensible Dinner
Dancer girl: I dunno, I mean, like, I wish they made a size like, triple zero, so I would have something to look forward to, y’know?
–Central Park
Man: Yeah, that’s how you gain weight: a backed-up colon. I cleaned mine out this weekend.
–B54 Bus
Overheard by: Alma Molato
Old woman, very loudly, in the middle of the movie: Boy, is she skinny!
–Movie theater, 86th Street b/w 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: The New York Crank
Girl on cell: If bitch can’t afford to buy her own groceries, she can just get skinny!
–Green Village Used Clothing, Bushwick
Anorexic fashionista: Any self-respecting anorexic knows that!
–Lincoln Center, 62nd & 9th
Man on cell: You went to a party last night? Well, that means you have to do three hours tomorrow. And I want you to drink lots of water, but none of that crystal light crap. That is seven calories that you do not need.
–Blockbuster, Broadway
Scrooge McDuck’s Wednesday One-Liners
Fashionista to another: It didn’t taste that good, but I really needed the money.
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: John Galt Jr.
Fashion student: The thing I can’t stand about fine arts is how obsessed with money it’s become… Yeah, so I’m leaving the program to study advertising.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: nova scotia
Security guard to another: I ain’t here for the money. I’m here for the fuckin’ prestige.
–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Amber Star
White chick on cell: Hi, honey! How are you? Are you being tickled by coins? Are you being tickled by coins?!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: mela
Guy on corner: Can you spare any change or frequent flyer miles?
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Scientific
Frumpy lady to Joey Ramone lookalike: I’m feeling awfully constipated, baby! Constipated with money is the way I like to be!
–3rd Ave, Bay Ridge
The Seamen Just Kept On Coming
Fashionista #1: I lost my virginity on a cruise.
Fashionista #2: Have you ever been on a cruise?
Fashionista #1: By “cruise” I mean “Russia”.
–Midtown office
Dude, Nobody Listens to The Wednesday One-Liners Anymore
Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Korky
20-something girl: I’m a teenager! I collect pogs and say “suck it,” and listen to Kriss Kross!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Claire H.
Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.
–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre
Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing “I kissed a guy and I liked it.”
–Chambers St Subway Station
Overheard by: sarah
Trendy girl: I can’t believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess “Don’t Stop Believing” and “We Are the Champions”… basically any Queen song.
–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place
Overheard by: Any Britney Song
20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don’t dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.
–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway
