Archive for the ‘Ferry’ Category

Does a Three­some With Twins Break the Wednes­day One-Lin­er Taboo?

Suit to an­oth­er: He was just lucky not to be fuck­ing some­one in his fam­i­ly!

–Trump Build­ing

Over­heard by: Guess I’m lucky too

Gamer on head­set: Dude, you are not lis­ten­ing to me. You can’t hear me. You know why? Be­cause you have no ears. You’re the prod­uct of two re­tard­ed cousins fuck­ing each oth­er.

–Queens

Girl: He looks like my un­cle… the one I’m re­al­ly at­tract­ed to.

–Gov­er­nors Is­land fer­ry

Over­heard by: bor­ing

Male passer­by: I would­n’t fuck my fam­i­ly, but…

–4th Ave & 11th St

Over­heard by: Jes­si­ca

British pro­fes­sor wear­ing bow tie: It’s fas­ci­nat­ing just how ex­cit­ing in­cest is!

–Sil­ver Cen­ter, NYU

You’re No Body ‘Til Some Body Wednes­day One-Lin­ers You

Girl: He has a re­al­ly amaz­ing skull.

–Bak­ery, Corte­ly­ou Road

Guy to friend: Why is that girls can get away with pick­ing their noses?

–170th St & Broad­way

Loud girl on cell in line at deli: You know I have blad­der is­sues when­ev­er I have sex!

–Broad­way & Oop­er

La­dy suit, scream­ing in­to cell: Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! I need a god­damn colon cleanse!

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry

Over­heard by: Col­in

Moist Wipes For All Es­cap­ing Re­ligous Per­se­cu­tion

Lit­tle girl: Mom­my, I’m hot. Can we swim in there?
Mom: No, sweet­ie. Every­one in New York poops in that riv­er.

–Fer­ry to El­lis Is­land
Head­line by: agela ab­dul­lah

Run­ners-Up:
· “And Your Turn to Poop in it Is­n’t Un­til Feb­ru­ary” — Ryan
· “Great, I Need to Top up my Tan!” — Space­Bee
· “I Hear the Mc­Don­ald’s Pool in the Back is Nice This Time of Year” — Life­guard Lar­ry
· “Like the Back­seat of Your Vol­vo, Mom­my?” — Jeff
· “M. Night Shamalan’s Next Script Idea” — Be­van
· “That’s the New De­f­i­n­i­tion of ‘Hip­ster.’ ” — Matthew K John­son
· “The Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty Is­n’t Hold­ing a Torch; She’s Light­ing a Match.” — er­ak
· “Well, the Rich Peo­ple Can Af­ford to Poop in Long Is­land Sound” — M.D.
· “Well, Yes. That’s Why I Asked.” — Greg

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

On­ly in Mi­crosoft Word

Woman #1, in clown make­up and garb, be­ing filmed: Do you ever feel you’re turn­ing in­to a fairy?
Woman #2, in sim­i­lar make­up and trapeze garb: Uh… No, not re­al­ly. (acts in­tent­ly in­ter­est­ed)
Woman #1: I don’t know, I guess… It’s like that myth, where the man with the mask… He wears it so of­ten, it be­comes his face. (pause) That’s me, with my char­ac­ter.
Woman #2: You don’t have more than one char­ac­ter?

–Fer­ry­boat, Stat­en Is­land

Over­heard by: eliza ah­ern

The Mul­ti­ple-Choice Sec­tion Of This Wednes­day One-Lin­er Be­gins Now

Train con­duc­tor: If any­one sees a blue and yel­low back­pack, please give it to the train con­duc­tor. Ja­son has a test and he needs to study.

–4 Train

Over­heard by: heather

Ran­dom guy walk­ing in­to the fer­ry sta­tion: I fig­ured if I took the test high, I’d get high scores.

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry Sta­tion

Over­heard by: mindy

Pro­fes­sor: These pop quizzes are like mak­ing love: you don’t get any points for speed, you get them for ac­cu­ra­cy.

–Psych Class, Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: I com­plete­ly agree

Un­der­grad: I don’t even want to look at my art his­to­ry midterm yet, but if I don’t know how I did, I’ll go crazy! It’s like a Catch-66! Any­way, I’m go­ing to head back to my dorm and put on some pants.

–But­ler Li­brary, Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty