Archive for the ‘Fighting and ass kicking’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Talk Shit

Woman to friend: I have a the­o­ry: they just throw the horse­shit over the wall.

–Cen­tral Park South

Over­heard by: mar­ijke

Jew­ish guy: You need to come down here at some point and feel how amaz­ing this chair is. It gives great lum­bar sup­port. You will be jeal­ous and then you will poop from jeal­ousy… But you bet­ter not poop on my chair.

–Bleeck­er & Mer­cer

Woman on cell: Hon­ey, but they were poop­ing all over the deck and hit­ting each oth­er with shov­els!

–West Vil­lage

NYU stu­dent to moth­er: You can’t re­al­ly get a good din­ner in this town for un­der ten dollars…well, you can…but you’ll just poop it out lat­er.

–4th St & 2nd Ave

(moth­er no­tices tod­dler’s soiled di­a­per, says some­thing to him, and bends down to pick him up)
Tod­dler (in small, adorable voice): Waaaai­it, can I walk, so my poop does­n’t get squashed?

–Bed­ford & 5th

20-some­thing guy to friend: You need fe­ces? I can pro­vide!

–Broad­way & 12th

Over­heard by: eli­jah

Re­mem­ber That Hip­ster who Re­ferred to My­Space as ‘Friend­ster but for Artists’?

His­pan­ic teen #1: Oh my God girl! You’re such a fuck­ing bitch!
His­pan­ic teen #2: Pshaa… Nig­ga please, I got like 300 friends on My­Space and you on­ly got like 100, bitch.
His­pan­ic teen #1: At least I did­n’t sleep with all my 300 friends.
His­pan­ic teen #2: You are so off my top 14.
His­pan­ic teen #1: You aren’t even on mine, so I dont give a shit.
His­pan­ic teen #2: Bitch

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Bryan