Archive for the ‘Fighting and ass kicking’ Category

Re­mem­ber That Hip­ster who Re­ferred to My­Space as ‘Friend­ster but for Artists’?

His­pan­ic teen #1: Oh my God girl! You’re such a fuck­ing bitch!
His­pan­ic teen #2: Pshaa… Nig­ga please, I got like 300 friends on My­Space and you on­ly got like 100, bitch.
His­pan­ic teen #1: At least I did­n’t sleep with all my 300 friends.
His­pan­ic teen #2: You are so off my top 14.
His­pan­ic teen #1: You aren’t even on mine, so I dont give a shit.
His­pan­ic teen #2: Bitch

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Bryan

Hey, Kiss My Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Drunk guy: Ex­cuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!

–8th Ave & W 55th St

Over­heard by: Fred Daubert

Cana­di­an guy: The first kiss’ll be at the al­tar.

–Up­town 6 train

Loud­mouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kiss­ing her, and then I like, just start­ed danc­ing with her. We were danc­ing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awe­some kiss­er.

–NYU

Over­heard by: lucy in the sky with di­a­monds

Girl on cell: I can’t re­mem­ber the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?

–43rd & Lex

Ghet­to chick leav­ing af­ter fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleed­ing, like you used to.

–Wash­ing­ton Heights

Girl on cell: He said he would­n’t leave un­til I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toi­let!

–115th St & Man­hat­tan Ave

Over­heard by: Melis­sa Berry

For Emi­ly, Wher­ev­er This Quote May Find Her

Guy on cell talk­ing loud­ly: Where the fuck are you, Emi­ly? (pause) Are you shop­ping? Don’t lie to me, Emi­ly! I will come over there and fuck­ing beat the dogshit out of you. (pause) I don’t care if I go to jail, it will be worth it to slap your ly­ing ass around. (pause) You don’t buy me shit, Emi­ly. Do you buy me my un­der­wear? No! Do you buy me socks? No! I do. What about all those purs­es and shoes you have? Me!
Ran­dom Do­mini­can teenage girl: Damn, Emi­ly re­al­ly don’t buy him noth­ing.

–Lucky Star Bus

Over­heard by: chi­na­town bus trav­el­er