Chick: I can never understand how Native Americans stayed in such great shape, and still smoked as much as they did.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: m‑co
Archive for the ‘Fitness’ Category
Think How Fit You’d Be by the Time You Got There
Lady hawking for Equinox Gym: Hey, are you interested in a membership?
Man: No, I live in Denmark.
Lady hawking for Equinox Gym: Well, we have a location in Paris. That’s not too far, right?
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Matt
And Prickly
Mom: Let’s take the stairs, honey.
Thick daughter: Are you saying I’m fat?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Jason
Making Someone My Bitch: It’s a Good Thing
Guy #1: So, Martha Stewart got out of jail today.
Guy #2: Yeah, she looks kinda hot…it must have been all the weightlifting!
–Pa Kua Martial Arts, 38th & 6th
It’s Funny Because It’s Permanent!
Professor: So there’s this study that says that left-handed people have lower evolutionary fitness.
Student: Does that mean that we’re doomed because the President is left handed?
Professor, without missing a beat: No, it just means he’s going to die.
–Columbia University
Also Doesn’t Know: Scotch Tape, Sharpie…
Guy: Do you carry Frisbees?
Duane Reade lady: What’s a Frisbee?
–Duane Reade, 89th and Columbus
Overheard by: Ethan Aronoff
This Is Just a Hologram
Walking guy: I don’t walk.
Walking girl: Why?
Walking guy: ‘Cause I just hate walking.
–Austin Street, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Prefers Piggyback Rides
Some People Have a Knack for Getting Right to the Heart of a Matter
White woman: How are things with John?
Asian woman: I don’t know. He’s just not manly enough for me. He listens to Miss Saigon at the gym. Maybe he has an Asian fetish.
White woman: Sounds more like he has a dick fetish.
–E Train
Overheard by: Brad
Keep Your Wednesday One-Liner in Your Pants, Dude
Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I’ll take him!
–26th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: your mom
Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.
–D Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Girl on cell: All I’m saying is: don’t jump on the first penis that comes along!
–Broadway
Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.
–5th Ave
Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for “penis” in the first scene!
–Junior High School
Overheard by: gabygrillz
Wednesday Hold-on-There’s-Someone-on-the-Other-Liners
60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aunt’s house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.
–B4 Bus
Overheard by: Victoria Tarasova
Dude on cell: No, it’s okay, my cellphone is attached to my hand. It’s part of my hand!
–Restaurant Bathroom, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
NYU guy on cell, snottily: No wait, wait… Is it full because you keep leaving them for me and I never bother to listen? (pause) Voicemail is a dead technology, dad.
–Bus
Overheard by: liz
Woman on crutches: People think I’m talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I’m just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain’t got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That’s right!
–Food Stamp Office, 14th St
Overheard by: Erica Schreiner
African American man on cell: I gotta go. I got Richard Simmons on the other line.
–30th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: mike v
