Cheery religious pamphlet guy: Good morning, miss! Would you like to suffer for Christ?
Woman in a hurry: Um, no…
Cheery religious pamphlet guy: Okay, have nice day!
–Steinway St station
Archive for the ‘Flyer people’ Category
Usually It’s Too Hot to Be Angry All the Time
Street promoter: Yo, do you like rap music?
Teenage Tourist: I’m from the South.
–Times Square
Flier: ‘Make Big Bucks as an Organ Grinder!’
Chinese man in rice hat passing out fliers, to man’s spaniel: Monkey, monkey, monkey.
Fat, bald owner to dog: Don’t talk to him.
–W Houston & Thompson
Overheard by: J&M
And What a Pretty Forehead Piercing
Comedy ticket guy: Hey, do you like to laugh?
Goth chick: No. Do I look like I like to laugh?
Comedy ticket guy: My bad.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Laura M.
Wednesday One-Liners from H‑E Double Hockey Sticks
Guy looking at books, to no one in particular: I don’t want to hear or see anything about the devil, demons, voodoo or big hairy black guys.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: 153
Guy hawking pamphlets: How to sucker punch the devil right in the ass!
–W 12th & Brodway
Overheard by: Why didn’t I get that pamphlet?!
Coworker about colleague: Every time he comes by here the number 666 comes up.
–1250 Broadway
Punk kid, walking past a group of nuns: Hail Satan!
–Waverly & Greene
Professor: I don’t want to be saved, I want to go to hell. I’ll meet interesting people there!
–Cooper Union, Astor Place
Overheard by: Hopefully not me!
Crazy older lady screaming on cell: You what? You are buying soda? You are going to go to fucking hell! Don’t you remember the promise you made to god? You’re probably standing in line with some goddamn candy too. You are going to hell!
–W Train
Overheard by: DR G LUV
Poisonous Food Exports, Notwithstanding
Young black guy with flyers: Flyer?
Young Asian girl: No, thanks. (walks away)
Young black guy with flyers, yelling: Aw, c’mon! I like China people!
–Times Square
Overheard by: ellie
Wednesday One-Liners Happen
Dude on cell: If he wrote a fucking haiku I would shit myself!
–50th b/w 8th & 9th
Hip dude: I was like: “Your voice is drowning me in a wave of bullshit.”
–W 4th
Customer to associate: Where can I pay for this shit?
–Apple Store, 5th Ave
Suit on cell: No, I have IBS. IBS! Ya know, Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I’ll shit when I gotta shit, and that’s the way this is gonna go!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual
am New York paper guy: Get your free am New York! They’re free because their employees get paid shit!
–53rd & 7th Ave
PETA-Approved Wednesday One-Liners
HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.
–E train
Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.
–Small diner, Chinatown
Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.
–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Gigi
Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.
–Rue 57, 57th & 6th
Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!
–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?
Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?
Get Outta His Way When He Finds Out the Truth about Santa…
Guy with fliers: Psychic readings! Only 10 dollars! Psychic readings!
Realist: Yo man, if that bitch knows where the money at, why don’t she go get it herself?
Guy, dropping fliers: Word! I’m going to go ask that bitch now!
–Union Square
Headline by: Allison
Runners-Up:
· “He’s a regular Nostra-Dumbass” — Smellface
· “I see dead presidents!” — The Amazing Gotcharocksoff
· “Miss Cleo: Your First Card Is Sucker, The 3 Of Sheisters” — the ace of spades
· “That Takes a Pair of Crystal Balls.” — DanK
· “We ALL saw that coming” — JP
· “While You’re There, Ask Her Where The Leprechaun At” — wookie
Don’t Bogart the Wednesday One-Liners!
Flyer guy to tourist: Take it, take it, it’s free! But my weed is not. I’ll be right here until five.
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Engi
Yuppie guy: Hey, you wanna buy a bong and get pierced?
–MacDougal & Bleecker
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Guy listening to iPod: Pussy, money, weed! Pussy, money, weed! Pussy, money, weed!
–183rd & Audubon Ave
Overheard by: BB
Black guy to another: All those niggas do is smoke weed and call ACS on each other!
–A train, Brooklyn
Guy on cell: Dude every time she sees me she’s like, ‘O‑M-G, you’re high.’ And I usually am, but like, I like to think I hide it well. But she always knows. And even so, I’m like, ‘Em, why do you have to comment on it every single time? At the dorms, at parties, even at Target one time!’ Hahaha… But anyway, we might come Thursday. I’ll see if my funds are in order to make the trip. What kind of shit would we have to wear? Beach stuff? Oooh, and I could rock my stunna shades.
–6 train
Guy outside MTV studios: Stay calm. Everything is going to be okay. There will be marijuana giveaways.
–1515 Broadway
Overheard by: Rebecca
