NYU girl #1: I like PowerBars.
NYU girl #2: I like Cliff Bars.
NYU girl #3: But the thing with all those bars is you have to chew them so much.
NYU girl #1: That’s why I like them — I feel like I’m actually eating something.
–Waverly Pl
Overheard by: Mae
Man on cell: Yeah man, she is so not anyone that I would be willing to invest years in… I mean I don't want to have to spend my time actually working on it. I figured, hell, I kind of want to wake up next to someone a couple of days a week, so I might as well hang on through the summer. No, she has no idea…
–Columbus & 62nd St
Grad student: They have this symbiotic relationship in which he does all the eating and she does all the drinking.
–Columbia University
Woman to herself: God, I asked you for a good man; not a fucking joke!
–Spring & Hudson
Overheard by: Oscar Gamble
Firefighter to others: It's not that I have anything against commitment; I just like diversity.
–125th St Fairway
Overheard by: Just Shoppint
Man in shorts to another: I wouldn't date a girl with double vision, period.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Dr No-Eyes
Businesswoman to hobo: If you get back in the dating scene, I'll kill you.
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: Homeless guy must be hung
Girl: I’ve never had venison before.
Guy: Order it. You can taste Bambi. You can taste the innocence. And the fear.
–“A” Restaurant, Columbus Avenue
Girl #1: Do you have Laughing Cow cheese, you know the little button cheeses?
Cheese counter guy: Sorry, we don’t have that.
Girl #1: Can I find it anywhere in the store?
Cheese counter guy: No, since it has preservatives, we don’t sell it here at Whole Foods.
Girl #2: No wonder my doctor doesn’t allow me to have them.
–Whole Foods, Time Warner Center
Overheard by: George
Four-year-old #1: Ice cream makes your head fall off.
Four-year-old #2: No, it doesn’t.
Four-year-old #1: It was just an expression, asshole.
Four-year-old #2, to his dog: Don’t let him pet you.
–Central Park
Overheard by: amused tourist
Girl: Think you’ll be able to convince your parents to go see a movie or something over Christmas?
Guy: Not a chance. My parents are impossible to motivate to do anything.
Girl: Ah, I bet you could get them to at least try during the holidays.
Guy: I’m not kidding…They are completely exhausted by eating, sleeping, shitting, and working. That’s all they have energy for.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: BBW
20-ish thug: Yo, girl, let me get a minute. I wanna buy you a popsicle.
Disgusted teen: I’m thirteen.
20-ish thug: Yeah, I know.
–Union Square station
Overheard by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed
Chick: Do you have your Halloween costume yet?
Dude: Yeah, I’m gonna be Spam… but not the salty kind!
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: sophia johannah zuckerman pogoff’s friend emi
Guy: I’m going to Chicago this weekend.
Girl: Jealous.
Guy: Want me to bring you back a hot dog?
Girl: Minus the dog.
Guy: Polish sausage?
Girl: Vegetarian.
Guy: Sausage pizza? Italian sausage? Sausage smoothie?
Girl: Totally.
Guy: Why doesn’t someone open a sausage smoothie store in Chicago? They’d be a millionaire.
–F train
Two elderly women walk past a stand selling roasted cinnamon nuts and say: Ohhh boy, those nuts smell good…
–East Village