Guy: Snookie is not even Italian. She is Chilean.
Girl: Snookie is a creature of her own. I don’t know what she is… She likes pickles.
–7th & 1st
Overheard by: R
Archive for the ‘Food’ Category
But It’s Jewish with a Big Hole in It
Chick #1: What did you do with that bagel I gave you?
Chick #2: I threw it away. I’m fasting today.
Chick #1: You can’t throw away bread!
Chick #2: Why not?
Chick #1: It’s the body of Christ!
Chick #2: It can’t be the body of Christ; it’s a bagel!
–Office, 53rd & Madison
Overheard by: greek goddess
“Fairy” is a Much More Polite Slur
Boy #1: Hey mom, is…is chicken meat?
Boy #2: No, dumbass, it’s a fruit.
Mother: Hush now! I don’t want to hear that language!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Blake Wyatt
Let’s Try Feeding Her and See What Happens
Girlfriend: So, do you think Fiona is really crazy?
Boyfriend: No, I just think she is hungry.
–Fiona Apple concert, Central Park
Overheard by: Nicole B.
Send Your Ideas to Massengill
Girl #1: Holy shit! That guy just threw a slushie at the conductor.
Girl #2: That’s like a felony, right?
Girl #1: Yeah, they should arrest that guy.
Girl #2: I can think of so many better things to do with a slushie.
–5 train
Just Like Les Mis!
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How’s it going?! Where are you from?
40-something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It’s hilarious when you’re high!
–Elevator, Sheraton Hotel
Crack Is Back/ Food Is Whack
Woman, yelling into cell: Why you gotta be eatin’ all my food for? You a damn crackhead, you don’t need no damned food!
Woman sitting next to her, shaking his head: Yeah, food is whack.
–M60 Bus
Overheard by: RickyB
Sadly, the Wart, Green Skin, and Pointed Hat Were Effectively Invisible Compared with the Limp Wrist, Sashaying Hips, and Love of Shoes
Girl #1: Wow, look at all the babies out here!
Polish queer: Mmm… dinner.
Girl #2: What?
Polish queer: I’m just living up to the stereotype.… Witches? Eating babies?
Girl #2: Oh! I thought you meant Polish people!
Guy: I thought you meant gay people!
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Overheard by: Caroline
It Comes Out As Bran
Hipster Guy #1: So, every morning you eat shit for breakfast?
Hipster Guy #2: Yeah!
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Kathleen
Little Anne Rice Was a Highly Particular Child
Girl dressed as vampire: Papa, did you bring snowflake?
Dad: No, baby, I forgot to pack him.
Girl dressed as vampire: Papa, I curse you.
–7 Train
Overheard by: The Vampire Newsbunny
