Archive for the ‘Free stuff!’ Category

Are You Fuck­ing With Me, Ma’am?

An­i­mat­ed blonde sales­girl: If you get the ap­ple pome­gran­ate body but­ter…
Weary brunette: I on­ly see the dis­play.
An­i­mat­ed blonde sales­girl: We have more in the back. Okay, well, if you get two or more prod­ucts from the bath line, like this and our show­er gel, you get a free bath­tub!
Weary brunette: Huh?
(an­i­mat­ed blonde sales­girl points to a lit­tle plas­tic bath­tub)
Weary brunette: That’s… tiny. Like, I love the scent but I’m afraid I don’t have any kit­tens or fe­tus­es to bathe in that tiny tiny tub.

–Sepho­ra, Times Square

Shows What You Know– My Girl­friend’s a Les­bian.

Street ven­dor: T‑shirts, get your “I love New York” t‑shirts! On­ly three dol­lars. Much bet­ter than you’d nor­mal­ly get at a store. T‑shirts, get your t‑shirts!
20-some­thing guy to girl­friend: Too ex­pen­sive, babe. Sor­ry.
Ven­dor to guy: Yeah, well your girl­friend can have one for free be­cause of how amaz­ing she was last night.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: i LOVE new york

What Is Art? Are We Art? Are Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Art?

Old­er gay guy on cell: In the 60s, you did­n’t need to have pas­sion or tal­ent to be an artist; you just need­ed to have a van, be­cause no one else was go­ing to haul your shit­ty art around.

–7th Ave & 14th St

Over­heard by: Miss C

Girl read­ing sign at Frank Lloyd Wright mu­se­um: Oh… He was an ar­chi­tect!

–Guggen­heim Mu­se­um

Over­heard by: An­tar­tic

Mom to lit­tle girl: If you look at too much art in one day, you’ll turn in­to a stat­ue.

–Mo­MA

Guy on phone: Yeah, she said she did­n’t think I would want to go, but why the fuck not? I’ll go to a fuck­ing mu­se­um if I fuck­ing want to. I’ll look at some paint­ings and shit.

–Down­town Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Mark McLaugh­lin

12-year-old boy, look­ing at Pi­cas­so paint­ings: This is to­tal­ly my thing, man, it’s like free porn.

–Mo­MA

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have the City’s Shit­ti­est Job

Com­e­dy club pro­mot­er: Com­e­dy club, com­e­dy club. Laugh un­til you get vi­o­lent di­ar­rhea!

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Patrick

Com­e­dy pro­mot­er to girl walk­ing by: Hey, you like com­e­dy? (girl ig­nores him) Yeah, you the strong, silent type… I like that in a woman.

–48th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: MsPrint

Com­e­dy show tick­et sales­man on side­walk: Com­e­dy show! Free vi­bra­tors! New bat­ter­ies!

–Times Square

Guy pro­mot­ing com­e­dy club to cou­ple hold­ing hands: Hey, what are you two do­ing tonight? …be­sides each oth­er?

–Times Square

Com­e­dy pro­mot­er: Want to see a com­e­dy show? We’ve got free mar­i­jua­na down­stairs.

–W 43rd St & 9th Ave

Over­heard by: Daniel

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are Al­ways PC

Young teen girl: I’ve done cy­ber­sex so of­ten I for­got how to type with two hands.

–A Train

Suit on cell: I have noth­ing to blog about. I have noth­ing to video blog about. Man, yes­ter­day I had to force my­self to tweet!

–Up­town 4 Train

Over­heard by: cow­girly

Girl sell­ing peach­es to an­oth­er: Yeah, my dad was so un­sym­pa­thet­ic when I told him my com­put­er crashed that I went straight to the Ap­ple store and charged a new hard dri­ve to his cred­it card. I was re­al­ly proud of my­self.

–Fort Greene Farm­ers Mar­ket

Over­heard by: Morn­ing Glo­ry

Teenage girl to friend: I don’t see why we’re even here. We could see all this stuff on the in­ter­net for free.

–Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um

Over­heard by: Derek