Dumb girl #1: If my ex wasn't an idiot I would call him.
Dumb girl #2: Why is he an idiot?
Dumb girl #1: Because he hooked up with one of my friends.
Dumb girl #2: That sucks.
Dumb girl #1: Yeah, she likes to get with friends' men.
Dumb girl #2: Wow! She's a bitch.
Dumb girl #1: Yeah… but so, should I call him?
–L Train
Guy: We're not friends on Facebook.
Girl: But how do you see my pictures?
Guy: Well, there's some of your photos that are private, and others that are public. When I go to your page, which is often, I can just search through those, or go to your friends' pages. A lot of them don't have private pictures.
–Starbucks, Union Square
Overheard by: Randy
20-something guy on BlackBerry: No, he's not gay. I was in a fivesome with him, but he's not gay.
–L Train
Girl to gay friend after walking into gay bar: Dude, either find me a straight boy or two Asians that will let me watch.
–NYC
Girl to guy friends: I mean, he's okay he had the threesome–the guy was his best friend!
–8th St & 5th Ave
Angry woman on phone: While you're out having orgies I am doing the real work!
–Victorian Flatbush
Pretentious professor type in academic tone: My ex had unrealistic fantasies. She used to dream about being fucked by God and Satan and the same time. How could I live up to that?
–NYU
Teen Girl to friend: I'd much rather he got turned on by his two friends than a Broadway show. I mean, how *gay* would that be?
–Boardwalk, Brighton Beach
Teen boy #1: Oh man, it was like an episode of I Love Lucy.
Teen boy #2: I love who?
Teen boy #1: Lucy. Oh man,you don’t know what I Love Lucy is? Bam! I ain’t your friend no more.
–Q train
Woman to guy, about guys making moves on drunk girls they are friends with: So, why do you guys do something like that? It never works.
Guy: Sure, 9 times out of 10 it doesn't work, but that one time you score.
Woman: But aren't those other 9 times really awkward and damaging to your friendship?
Man: Yeah, but there's that one time where you get sex you really weren't expecting!
–Fiddlesticks Bar
Agitated papi: I love him like a brother, but he a fuckin’ inconsiderate, ungrateful, selfish bastard! And he got a ugly baby!
–14th & University
Overheard by: Manhattman
Young Kid: New York is ugly!
–JFK
Overheard by: Latoya Siratana
Wise teen girl: That’s not giving up on him. That’s letting him fuck uglier girls.
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: walking the bridge
Giggling little girl in stroller: I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly…!
–Downtown R train
Older woman to complete stranger: You should really stop eating that crap because it’s going to make you uglier than you already are!
–Fairway, W 73rd St
Overheard by: just trying to buy my groceries…
B&T guy: As I was saying, just ’cause you’re ugly, don’t mean you’re smart.
–Lower East Side
Fat man: My left retina just detached.
Friend, not even looking at him: You'll be fine.
–Washington Square Park
Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!
–Rumsey Field, Central Park
Overheard by: Jet Black
Indie girl: Defeatism is my Friendster.
–2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz