Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

Tonight’s Movie: It’s Com­pli­cat­ed

Guy: We’re not friends on Face­book.
Girl: But how do you see my pic­tures?
Guy: Well, there’s some of your pho­tos that are pri­vate, and oth­ers that are pub­lic. When I go to your page, which is of­ten, I can just search through those, or go to your friends’ pages. A lot of them don’t have pri­vate pic­tures.

–Star­bucks, Union Square

Over­heard by: Randy

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers En­joy Team Sports

20-some­thing guy on Black­Ber­ry: No, he’s not gay. I was in a five­some with him, but he’s not gay.

–L Train

Girl to gay friend af­ter walk­ing in­to gay bar: Dude, ei­ther find me a straight boy or two Asians that will let me watch.

–NYC

Girl to guy friends: I mean, he’s okay he had the threesome–the guy was his best friend!

–8th St & 5th Ave

An­gry woman on phone: While you’re out hav­ing or­gies I am do­ing the re­al work!

–Vic­to­ri­an Flat­bush

Pre­ten­tious pro­fes­sor type in aca­d­e­m­ic tone: My ex had un­re­al­is­tic fan­tasies. She used to dream about be­ing fucked by God and Sa­tan and the same time. How could I live up to that?

–NYU

It’s Like a Bless­ing from God

Woman to guy, about guys mak­ing moves on drunk girls they are friends with: So, why do you guys do some­thing like that? It nev­er works.
Guy: Sure, 9 times out of 10 it does­n’t work, but that one time you score.
Woman: But aren’t those oth­er 9 times re­al­ly awk­ward and dam­ag­ing to your friend­ship?
Man: Yeah, but there’s that one time where you get sex you re­al­ly weren’t ex­pect­ing!

–Fid­dle­sticks Bar

The Ug­ly Busi­ness of Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Ag­i­tat­ed pa­pi: I love him like a broth­er, but he a fuckin’ in­con­sid­er­ate, un­grate­ful, self­ish bas­tard! And he got a ug­ly ba­by!

–14th & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Man­hattman

Young Kid: New York is ug­ly!

–JFK

Over­heard by: La­toya Sir­atana

Wise teen girl: That’s not giv­ing up on him. That’s let­ting him fuck ugli­er girls.

–Brook­lyn Bridge

Over­heard by: walk­ing the bridge

Gig­gling lit­tle girl in stroller: I’m ug­ly! I’m ug­ly! I’m ug­ly! I’m ug­ly! I’m ug­ly…!

–Down­town R train

Old­er woman to com­plete stranger: You should re­al­ly stop eat­ing that crap be­cause it’s go­ing to make you ugli­er than you al­ready are!

–Fair­way, W 73rd St

Over­heard by: just try­ing to buy my gro­ceries…

B&T guy: As I was say­ing, just ’cause you’re ug­ly, don’t mean you’re smart.

–Low­er East Side