Indie girl: Defeatism is my Friendster.
–2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category
I’m Guessing Someplace in Long Island
Chick #1: Hey, guess what I found out?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: Bugs Bunny is from Brooklyn!
Chick #2: That’s bullshit. Last time I checked, Bugs Bunny lived in a hole, not a brownstone.
Chick #1: Ha, ha! I love you. I swear, you’re so witty sometimes. I’m not even kidding.
Chick #2: I know, right? I don’t know where I come up with this stuff.
–Rockefeller Plaza
They Reconciled When She Explained She Really Meant Lisa Simpson
Girl #1: I just love Jessica Simpson.
Girl #2: Why the hell did you have to fuck this relationship? I hate her! We can’t be friends now.
–19th & 9th
Overheard by: Scott
Story of My Life
Girl #1: I don’t know how I feel about him. He’s kind of an elitist.
Girl #2: Well, some people would say I’m an elitist.
Girl #1: Yeah, but with you it’s funny.
–Pratt ladies’ room, Manhattan
Overheard by: Jackie C.
Dude: Hi! Where do you keep your books about revenge?
–Posman Books, Grand Central
Overheard by: Lavender Menace
Yeah, but Dads don’t count
Girl #1: I am not a slut! You’re the slut in this friendship! We agreed on this!
Girl #2: Okay, fine, you’re not a slut… But you were straddling him.
–E train
Headline by: DanaLishs
Runners-Up:
· “I Think She Said It Best” – Lalaith
· “I Thought I Was the Slut and You Were the Gutter Slut?” – Molly
· “I Was Just Evening the Score. You’re Too Far Ahead.” – Jen M.
· “Mary Kate and Ashley, Drunk Again” – Mikey G.
· “Now Go Back to Munching My Box” – K to that B
· “With My Pinkie Out. Like a Lady.” – Courtney from Arkansas
· “Yeah, but Only His Face” – Jason
Plus Her Status Updates Are More Interesting Than Ever
Graduate student #1: Should I remove the dead girl from my Facebook friends? It's kind of sad when she comes up.
Graduate student #2: No.
Graduate student #1: Why not?
Graduate student #2: Wouldn't it be even sadder if she was dead and had no Facebook friends?
–114th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Daniel
There's No Pill for What Wednesday One-Liners Have
Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema…
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: chris
Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal!
–1st Ave & St. Mark's
Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lola Black
Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.
–W 4th St
20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria.
–Café
Yeah, but They Don’t Eat Much
Woman #1: Why shouldn’t I trust him? Because he’s gay?
Woman #2: No. Because he might be Jeffrey Dahmer.
Woman #1: He might be Jeffrey Dahmer?
Woman #2: Yeah. I just don’t trust anyone.
Woman #1: You’re friends with crackheads!
–N Train
For Some Reason, I Keep Ordering Things That Aren't On It
Friend #1: So how is your husband?
Friend #2: For some reason I keep on sleeping with his best friend.
Friend #1: What!
Friend #2: Yeah girl…I'm leaving him. So what do you want to order from the menu?
–Restaurant Queens
Tonight's Movie: When Brian Met Suzie
20-something hipster boyfriend: Are you attracted to Brian?
20-something hipster girlfriend: No.
20-something hipster boyfriend: I don't believe you.
20-something hipster girlfriend: Okay, well, I can't really say anything that would convince you, except… Me being attracted to your friend Brian is just as likely as you being attracted to my friend Suzie.
20-something hipster boyfriend: Fuck! No! Okay, I believe you.
–2 Train
Overheard by: emily darwin