Archive for the ‘Gender issues’ Category

“Don’t Hate Me Be­cause I’m Wednes­day One-Lin­er”

Hobo to fe­male passer­by (singing): Pret­ty woman, walk­ing down the street/Pretty woman, eat­ing a ham­burg­er…

–Wendy’s, Union Square

Over­heard by: Hun­gry By­stander

Sales­girl to an­oth­er: You look pret­ty today…for a lit­tle Fil­ipino girl.

–Amer­i­can Ea­gle, So­Ho

Over­heard by: Hol­ly

Loud hobo walk­ing through crowd­ed train: Lots of beau­ti­ful ladies on this train. Beau­ti­ful white ladies. Beau­ti­ful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-look­ing girl) Do you wear make­up? You should­n’t. You don’t need it, you are so beau­ti­ful. If you have any make­up, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ug­ly.

–Down­town 4 Train

50-some­thing woman to pret­ty 20-some­thing girl: I just want­ed you to know that our hus­bands over there think you are one of the most beau­ti­ful girls they have ever seen. So now our hus­bands are go­ing to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be think­ing of you dur­ing, but thanks to you I am go­ing to have an or­gasm tonight, so thank you for be­ing so gor­geous.

–Boat Basin Cafe

Over­heard by: Megan W.

Guy on iPhone: You think be­cause you’re pret­ty you can get away with that shit. Well, you’re wrong! You can get away with that shit be­cause you’re rich!

–Du­ane Reade, Colum­bus Ave

Over­heard by: Veron­i­ca at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

Tonight’s Les­son: Mak­ing Long Is­land Iced Teas

Aunt: Do you know what you are be­ing?
Child: Yeah.
Aunt: Does it start with a b?
Child: Maybe.
Aunt: Your fa­ther calls me that all the time, you can say it…I give you per­mis­sion.
Child: No.
Aunt: Is it a fe­male dog?
Child: Yeah.
Aunt: Come, tell me…is it “bitch?“
Child: Yeah, I’m a be­ing a bitch.

–Is­abel­la’s, 81st St

Over­heard by: Ger­ald T Rein­er Jr.

Jeez, Look at Him Vom­it In­to That Pot­ted Palm

Dis­grun­tled woman #1: It’s not that he kissed my cousin…
Dis­grun­tled woman #2: Right.
Dis­grun­tled woman #1: And it’s not that he can’t feel emo­tions…
Dis­grun­tled woman #2: Most guys can’t!
Dis­grun­tled woman #1: It’s that he drinks Bac­ar­di-151!
Dis­grun­tled woman #2: I’m sayin’!

–The Court­yard Mar­riot, Times Square

Speak­ing of Which: Drink­ing out of Toi­lets? Fab­u­lous.

Chick #1: … I don’t know…
Chick #2: Trust me — he wants it, but he’ll nev­er ask. You do it by sur­prise, and he’ll, like, cum all over you.
Chick #1: It just seems nasty.
Chick #2: Yeah, it’s nasty — that’s why guys like it! And I guess it feels good. I mean, boy dogs lick their own, right?

–21st St & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: Man­hattman

Please Let Go of Your Crotch, Lar­ry

TV: ‘It’s of­fi­cial — Hillary Clin­ton is run­ning for the pres­i­den­cy…‘
Sec­re­tary #1: You gonna vote for her?
Sec­re­tary #2: I don’t know… I have to see who else is run­ning.
Ser­vice as­so­ciate: You think a woman can han­dle these 52 states? This is a big con­ti­nent — you think a woman can han­dle that?

–Mon­te­fiore Med­ical Cen­ter

Head­line by: Ja­son

Run­ners-Up:

· “At least we knew Mon­i­ca could han­dle a big load” — Roxi

· “I mean, re­al­ly, Deb­bie could on­ly han­dle Dal­las.” — Mikie

· “If she can’t han­dle the small “jobs” at home…” — Ken­neth

· “Men ly­ing about size? Yeah, a woman can han­dle that.” — bel­la


Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

If Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Did It

Woman on cell: Are you re­al­ly sur­prised that Mar­cus turned out to be a se­r­i­al killer?

–Times Square

Over­heard by: shex

Col­lege dude on cell: No, the en­tire male species is go­ing to die, re­mem­ber?

–Times Square

Over­heard by: glad i’m a girl.

Avi­a­tor-wear­ing rock­er wannabe: Dude, se­ri­ous­ly, think about it. Why aren’t there more se­r­i­al killers?!

–Union Square West at 16th St

Guy: You know, I pray for the days when I find bod­ies…

–Lorimer St & Met­ro­pol­i­tan Ave

Co­lum­bia news­pa­per re­porter: Dude, you can’t just kill one per­son and be a se­r­i­al killer. You have to work up to be­ing a se­r­i­al killer.

–Co­lum­bia Spec­ta­tor Of­fice

Over­heard by: And you know from ex­pe­ri­ence?

Cashier to friend: Yeah, there’s this cou­ple that comes in every week and rents se­r­i­al killer movies.

–Brook­lyn Video Rental Store

Over­heard by: tiff

Con­duc­tor: Thank you for rid­ing MTA, and re­mem­ber to smile. You’ll con­fuse the peo­ple who want to kill you!

–L train

Over­heard by: Paige

Meet New York City’s Most Func­tion­al Cou­ple

Male suit: See, look at her! (points at woman on Black­Ber­ry) Women are more like­ly to get killed while tex­ting than men. Men are al­ways aware of their sur­round­ings.
Fe­male suit: No, men just can’t walk and text at the same time. Women are bet­ter at mul­ti-task­ing.
Male suit: Al­right, since you’re so good at mul­ti-task­ing, suck my dick and make me a sand­wich.
Fe­male suit: I’ve got news for you. If you keep eat­ing sand­wich­es, even hook­ers won’t want to suck your dick.

–Broad­way & As­tor Place

Over­heard by: Ash­ley