Archive for the ‘Getting Off’ Category

Or, You Know, What­ev­er

Dude #1: You got laid last night, so shut up. Al­though I nev­er saw her, so I don’t know what she looked like.
Dude #2: Nei­ther do I…
Dude #1: Yeah, I thought about stay­ing up and wait­ing just to get a look at her.

–17th & Irv­ing

Over­heard by: B‑Round

En­gorged and Tin­gling Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Drunk Brit with arm around ug­ly la­dy: Oh, Je­sus, just walk­ing is mak­ing me horny.

–10th & 2nd

Over­heard by: emil­ia

Girl­friend to boyfriend: Your hair is mak­ing me horny.

–B train

Over­heard by: Janelle

Guy in hood­ie: I don’t know — rain gear just does­n’t re­al­ly turn me on.

–Williams­burg, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Ktg

Loud woman: Ac­cord­ing to re­cent re­search, a nine-month-old fe­tus can ex­pe­ri­ence an erec­tion.

–Bus to Stat­en Is­land

Chick on cell: … And he was, like, rub­bing his erec­tion on me, and I was like, ‘Dude, you’re rub­bing your erec­tion on me…’

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

La­dy: What are horny men do­ing at Build-a-Bear, any­way?

–40th & 5th

Over­heard by: don’t wan­na know