Ghetto girl #1: Nah, bitch! I’m, like, 11. I’m not sittin’ on no Santa’s lap!
Ghetto girl #2: You don’t know. They was givin’ out gifts and shit.
Ghetto girl #1: Word? Nobody told me!
–4 train
Overheard by: marty
Archive for the ‘Ghetto Chicks’ Category
Hey, Kiss My Wednesday One-Liners
Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!
–8th Ave & W 55th St
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.
–Uptown 6 train
Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.
–NYU
Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds
Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?
–43rd & Lex
Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.
–Washington Heights
Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!
–115th St & Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Melissa Berry
Maybe Mom Got a Head Wound in Iraq, or Something
Little kid: Hey, mom, look! You can see the moon!
Ghetto mom: Shut up! You can't see no moon when the sun out. Sit down 'fore I bust yo little ass!
Little kid: But I can see the moon!
Nice older lady to kid: You're right, honey. You can see the moon when the sun is out. The moon is bright because of the sun.
Kid to mom: See, I told you I could see the moon?
Ghetto mom: That bitch lyin'!
–A Train
Overheard by: innocent mta customer
Good Luck Explaining This to the E.R. Doc, Wednesday One-Liner
Ghetto lady on phone waiting for bus: Ugh. I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy to stick my hands up your ass.
–Hunts Point
Dude on cell: I think he's the same guy who stuck the jar up his ass. (pause) Well, because the camera angle was the same, and the scar…
–108th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk gay man speaking to straight couple: So I'm at the wedding talking to my future cousin-in-law about how it's not gay if he likes things in his ass, and he said that's not his problem, his problem is asking her to cut her fingernails.
–26th b/w 9th & 10th
Female suit on cell: There was something going into that butt, did I not mention that?
–10th & Hudson
And Yet She Claims to Be My Psychic Friend?
Corporate-dressed ghetto girl #1: So I'm like she doesn't even know me! So I go to her, “Do you even know me?” cause she don't even know me!
Corporate-dressed ghetto girl #2: She doesn't even know you.
–Pax, E 52nd St
My Parents Had to Roll Me to Preschool
Heavy ghetto girl after being weighed: 195!
Friend: Daaaaaamn. I'm 150.
Heavy ghetto girl: I've been 195 since I was five.
Friend: Damn, girl.
–CCNY Wellness Center
Overheard by: voluptuousgrl
Once You Go Blue, You Dunno What to Do
Ghetto chick: What the fuck is with all the cops at this station?
Punk chick: I don’t know.
Ghetto chick: I mean I’m fuckin’ one and all but damn, I still don’t like them.
–6 train
Overheard by: tasha
The Horror. The Horror!
Woman #1: Oooh, child, I know your ass was fucked up from all that drinking!
Woman #2: Hell yeah, you know I was! Shit, I woke up in bed with that mothafuckah again!
Woman #1: Girl, who was it this time?
Woman #2: My fucking husband.
Woman #1: Damn.
–Jay St/Borough Hall train station
Which Is Like a Cheating “Get Out Of Jail Free” Card, Right?
Ghetto girl: What's wrong wit you?
Hoodlum: Yo, I already told you I was bisexual!
–McClellan St & Sheridan Ave
Overheard by: South Bronx Beat Cop
Grand Slam Wednesday One-Liners
Man selling CDs: If you like the Mets, you will love my album!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: nicole
Mets fan: I don’t care if I have one lung, or only have half a pancreas, or if I lose a leg falling in front of the train. As long as the Mets win, I’m good to go.
–7 train
Asshole, pointing to guy with Red Sox bumper sticker on his wheelchair: He’s a Boston fan; let’s kick his ass! Oh wait, looks like God beat us to it.
–126th & St Nick
Conductor, on PA: That Johnny Damon. He sure looks like Jesus. But he sure throws like my little sister.
–Amtrak train out of Penn Station
Overheard by: Lisita
MTA worker: All people for the Mets game, go to your right. All people for the US Open, if any, go to your left.
–Willets Point-Shea Stadium subway station
Overheard by: Emily
Thugette: Yo, when I make it in show business, I will not speak to Ben Affleck. When I found out he’s a Red Sox fan, I decided then and there.
–Q65 bus
Overheard by: A White Bear
Conductor: 161st Street, Yankee Stadium. Let Big Papi know who the real MVP is.
–D train
Overheard by: Lindsay J.