Girl #1: Man, I ain’t know that that girl was gay.
Girl #2: Say what? All those times when we were laying together in the bed with no clothes on?! Man, that’s not happenin’ no more, lesbo!
–N train
Archive for the ‘Ghetto Chicks’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me…
Ghetto black woman to four-year-old son: The ice ain’t gonna respect you, you gotta respect the ice, nigga.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Steven
Obnoxiously loud drunk guy: I need a girl who will respect my receding hairline!
–Virgil’s, W 44th St
Overheard by: Check, please!
Thugette: I’m just going to say, “Look, I mean no disrespect, but go fuck yourself. I mean no disrespect, but just go fuck yourself.”
–6 Train
Overheard by: i mean disrespect
20-something guy to friend: Man, you don’t understand. I really respect this broad…
–35th St & Lexington
Nothing Comes Between Me and My Revulsion
Hip Hop girl #1: Yeah, they’re tight, but they make me look good in a mirror.
Hip Hop girl #2: Uh huh.
Hip Hop girl #1: And I like the camel toe.
–22nd & 6th
Queer: My pants are so tight they’re soundproof!
–Bleecker & West 11th
Overheard by: Justin
Ashley, We’re White!
Thuggette to random Latina girl: That’s right, keep walkin’ bitch! I’ll throw yo’ ass in the trash right ’bout now!
Thug: Can’t we act civilized just for like, five minutes?
Thuggette: Fuck you, nigga!
–Times Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Tim
I Wanna Fuck You Like an Wednesday One-Liner
Ghetto chick to friend: Remember when you took that chinchilla from me, back in the day?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Chloe
Grungy dude on cell: So I jumped on my horse and got the fuck outta there.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: bildita
Guy: …and those Egyptians had crocodiles. Those crocodiles that shoot lasers out of their eyes.
–Metropolitian Musuem of Art
Overheard by: Bonkers in Yonkers
Hipster chick: Deer antlers. Everywhere I go, all I see are deer antlers. I’m getting sick of it.
–14th St & 1st Av
Overheard by: Larry
Thug: I’m like super pimp. I pimp men and women… And cats and dogs. Shit, I got the whole animal kingdom.
–10th & Broadway
Composed chick on cell: He’s a giraffe, and I’m a leopard, and I’m never gonna be a giraffe. I’ve tried and tried, but my destiny is as a leopard, you see? I can fake being a giraffe for awhile, but eventually I’m gonna have to rip his throat out and feed on his entrails. It’s in my nature. The only alternative is divorce.
–Billiard Hall, Elizabeth & Bowery
Wednesday One-Liners Regret Listening to Their Biological Clocks
Mother to screaming toddler: Stop it. This is not your day. This is my day. Don’t ruin it.
–Gourmet Garage
Southern woman to son: The WWE pose, just like we practiced in the backyard now.
–NBC Studios
Overheard by: Tracy
Mother yelling at three little well-dressed girls: Do not open that bottle of glitter! Do not! If you know glitter… (holding her arms out making a rainbow sort of gesture) Shit flies!
–Central Park
Overheard by: chellie
Very young mother to four-year-old son: Stop that! If you don’t start behavin’ I’m gonna send you in for the new model!
–R Train
Overheard by: Kait
Ghetto mom to young son running his hand along outside window while walking: Don’t do that! You gonna get germs! Yo’ hand gonna fall off!
–45th b/w 3rd & Lexington
Overheard by: Lili Von Shtupp
Very serious mother: Well, Megatron could beat Optimus because he’s stronger. But Optimus is smarter, so he can outsmart Megatron.
–East Village
Mom holding little boy’s hand: Forget everything you’ve seen today.
–Mermaid Parade, Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Not forgetting ANYTHING we saw today
Unfortunately, They Also Like to Make Generalizations About Us.
Young black girl: What are all them white people doing all the way up here?
Young black girl’s mother: White folk like to drink out of little cups and sit outside with them bug-eyed sunglasses on Sundays.
–Café, Lenox & 119th
Wednesday One-liners by Peter
Suit: My dick was totally in one hand pissing while I was talking to the client.
–48th & Madison
At Least She’s Reading
Ghetto chick: Excuse me! Excuse me! What’s the name of the towers that got knocked down?
Incredulous passerby: Umm … The World Trade Center.
Ghetto chick to thug boyfriend: See! I told you it wasn’t none of that twin towers. You thinking of Lord of the Rings.
–Vesey St
The Need for Anti-Meme Drugs Becomes Ever More Pressing
Ghetto girl: Man, I can’t believe he did this! I mean, we was in this relationship for like two weeks, and now he be tryin’ to dump me! He was all, “Yeah, we’re over.” I was like, “What you talkin’ about?” Then he was all, “I’m taking you off my Top 8.“
Passerby: He took you off his Top 8? Oh, hell, no.
–Baryshnikov Arts Center
Overheard by: random dancer
