Archive for the ‘Ghetto Chicks’ Category

At Least She’s Read­ing

Ghet­to chick: Ex­cuse me! Ex­cuse me! What’s the name of the tow­ers that got knocked down?
In­cred­u­lous passer­by: Umm … The World Trade Cen­ter.
Ghet­to chick to thug boyfriend: See! I told you it was­n’t none of that twin tow­ers. You think­ing of Lord of the Rings.

–Vesey St

The Need for An­ti-Meme Drugs Be­comes Ever More Press­ing

Ghet­to girl: Man, I can’t be­lieve he did this! I mean, we was in this re­la­tion­ship for like two weeks, and now he be tryin’ to dump me! He was all, “Yeah, we’re over.” I was like, “What you talkin’ about?” Then he was all, “I’m tak­ing you off my Top 8.“
Passer­by: He took you off his Top 8? Oh, hell, no.

–Barysh­nikov Arts Cen­ter

Over­heard by: ran­dom dancer

Maybe Mom Got a Head Wound in Iraq, or Some­thing

Lit­tle kid: Hey, mom, look! You can see the moon!
Ghet­to mom: Shut up! You can’t see no moon when the sun out. Sit down ‘fore I bust yo lit­tle ass!
Lit­tle kid: But I can see the moon!
Nice old­er la­dy to kid: You’re right, hon­ey. You can see the moon when the sun is out. The moon is bright be­cause of the sun.
Kid to mom: See, I told you I could see the moon?
Ghet­to mom: That bitch lyin’!

–A Train

Over­heard by: in­no­cent mta cus­tomer

Is It Too Late to Apol­o­gize for Moon­ing You?

Black girl #1: Damn, girl! You’re hairy! I dun­no if it’s cause I’m light-skinned, you’re hairy!
Black girl #2: Thanks. Thanks… (walks away)
Black girl #1: You’re like a were­wolf!

–H&M Dress­ing Room, Queens Cen­ter Mall

Over­heard by: hop­ing shes not a were­wolf too…

Mor­lock v. Eloi: The Pre­quel

A thugged out girl tests all of her ring tones as loud as pos­si­ble for a sol­id minute.

Prep­py girl: Are you se­ri­ous with that? Can you do every­one a fa­vor and stop?
Thug girl: I know you’re not talk­ing to me. You messed with the wrong girl.
Prep­py girl: I’m sor­ry, I can’t hear you. Your scream­ing phone made me deaf.
Thug girl: I’ll f her up. But then she’ll call the cops; her peo­ple love the cops. Go back to where you came from!
Prep­py girl: I’m try­ing to. That’s why I’m on the train, you stu­pid bitch. Look, you got a new cell phone and that’s great, but fig­ure it out at home.
Thug girl: I’ll f you up. You’re f‑ing with the wrong girl. Don’t be fooled by the pret­ty face.
Prep­py girl: Pret­ty face? Where?

–N train

Over­heard by: Mat­ty M.

Is It Too Late to Give You a Puz­zle?

Teen ghet­to girl: If you had a daugh­ter…
Teen ghet­to boy: If I had a daugh­ter, there ain’t no way she’d be leav­in’ the house with them short shorts and shit. And she fo’ sho’ would­n’t be playin’ with them bar­bi­es. Bar­bi­es is evil. They mess with girls’ brains, makin’ them think they need to show off their shit and have ba­bies when theys like 15. No bar­bi­es. On­ly puz­zles.

–Man­hat­tan bound N train

Over­heard by: lau­ren

Aqua Teen Hunger Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Suit on cell: Nah, don’t even both­er call­in’ that fuckin’ guy. At 4:59 he pulls the steam whis­tle and slides down the Bron­tosaurus tail.

–45th & 7th

Over­heard by: Fred F.

Home­girl to an­oth­er: Yo, you re­mind me of my nig­ga, Sponge­Bob!

–125th & Am­s­ter­dam

20-some­thing babe: Op­ti­mus Prime is my boyfriend!

–Union Square cin­e­ma

Suit: The win­ter af­ter I grad­u­at­ed col­lege I watched a lot of Car­toon Net­work.

–8th St & 6th Ave

Over­heard by: jonesy

Girl: Yeah, you know, it’s just like the time I dyed my­self blue, on­ly the guy I was with was col­or­blind so he could­n’t even tell! Hey, haven’t you ever want­ed to know what it feels like to be a Smurf?

–1 train

Fat pro­fes­sor: In or­der to avoid eco­nom­ic loss you have to look deep­er than the av­er­age bear.

–Pace Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: ran­dom stu­dent