Archive for the ‘Ghetto Chicks’ Category

Over­heard Goes to the Cin­e­ma

Girl #1: He fine.
Girl #2: Who? Anakin?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Fin­er den Ush­er?
Girl #1: Nah, no­body fin­er den Ush­er.

–The Pavil­ion, Park Slope

Black guy: Yo, fuck the Je­di. It’s all about the Dark Side. I’m the oth­er Dark Lord you’ve been look­ing for.

–86th & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Joshua S.

Girl: Oh my god, all this time I thought I was a Bud­dhist, but I’m re­al­ly a Sith.

–UA movie the­ater, Union Square

Over­heard by: Lara Evan­ge­lista

Usu­al­ly There’s a Gru­elling Ap­pli­ca­tion Process

Queer: I am not pay­ing for the ap­pe­tiz­er, be­cause it came out at the same time as our en­tree and it should have come out be­fore.
Ghet­to wait­ress: You have to pay for it, be­cause I brought it out.
Queer: Well, when you don’t get mon­ey for it don’t be alarmed!
Ghet­to wait­ress: You’re lucky you even got your food!

–Din­er, 51st & 9th

Over­heard by: Rich

Hey, Kiss My Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Drunk guy: Ex­cuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!

–8th Ave & W 55th St

Over­heard by: Fred Daubert

Cana­di­an guy: The first kiss’ll be at the al­tar.

–Up­town 6 train

Loud­mouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kiss­ing her, and then I like, just start­ed danc­ing with her. We were danc­ing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awe­some kiss­er.

–NYU

Over­heard by: lucy in the sky with di­a­monds

Girl on cell: I can’t re­mem­ber the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?

–43rd & Lex

Ghet­to chick leav­ing af­ter fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleed­ing, like you used to.

–Wash­ing­ton Heights

Girl on cell: He said he would­n’t leave un­til I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toi­let!

–115th St & Man­hat­tan Ave

Over­heard by: Melis­sa Berry

Good Luck Ex­plain­ing This to the E.R. Doc, Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Ghet­to la­dy on phone wait­ing for bus: Ugh. I’m ex­haust­ed. I don’t have the en­er­gy to stick my hands up your ass.

–Hunts Point

Dude on cell: I think he’s the same guy who stuck the jar up his ass. (pause) Well, be­cause the cam­era an­gle was the same, and the scar…

–108th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: La­dle

Drunk gay man speak­ing to straight cou­ple: So I’m at the wed­ding talk­ing to my fu­ture cousin-in-law about how it’s not gay if he likes things in his ass, and he said that’s not his prob­lem, his prob­lem is ask­ing her to cut her fin­ger­nails.

–26th b/w 9th & 10th

Fe­male suit on cell: There was some­thing go­ing in­to that butt, did I not men­tion that?

–10th & Hud­son